Neighbours ignore us - thoughts?

Reams

Greenwoodlad, I was astounded when you said you are a Gardener as in your opening post you told us that you work nights. Not doubting you at all but how does that work?
I just know there is going to be a simple explanation, and I'll feel a fool as no one else has asked.

nic_santorini

greenwoodlad wrote: »

They did get a polite response - I explained we had just moved in to a 5 bedroomed house - why couldn't my kids play in the garden - the old guy said his wife couldn't stand loud children and "please make sure they don't play football" - as, if a ball came into his garden and damaged any of his expensive plants, we would be receiving a bill ! I thought ...welcome to our new home !

Another neighbour stopped my two boys, then 7 and 11 for riding their bikes on the street - he told them to ride somewhere else - this was all withing about 3 days of moving in !!!

What!! I would of told them to do one. How dare they lay down their homemade laws onto children! Some people are seriously deranged.

I do feel for you, but don't let them win. If they did not want any new neighbours they should have pulled their riches together and bought the blooming house themselves!!

greenwoodlad

Reams wrote: »

Greenwoodlad, I was astounded when you said you are a Gardener as in your opening post you told us that you work nights. Not doubting you at all but how does that work?
I just know there is going to be a simple explanation, and I'll feel a fool as no one else has asked.

:)Apologies crossed wires - my main job is Night Work - i am a social worker , I work in Child Protection on a Night Duty Team, i work with vulnerable children & families ......But in my 4 days a week that I don't work nights i have my own gardening business that is probably why i have not had time to socialise with the neighbours - i work 60 hrs a week already !

monkeychops

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

It's definitely the noise issue, not the physical act of playing. Some children shriek and scream, whilst others play without this need.

If a child or children are shrieking and screaming all the time while playing then yes, I agree, this would be annoying but if not then I do not see a problem. Children should be allowed to play in their own garden and should be expected to make some noise.

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Why would a parent need to go to a local park with children unless they're tiny?

The OP has chosen to move to a "nice" rural are with a park so why would he want his lads riding their bikes round the street when there's somewhere specifically for them? Obviously little ones need to be supervised but older (and particularly noisier) children can go off and enjoy their freedom.

We were living in a village (smaller than the OP's) when we had kids of 6 and 8 and we hardly saw them except for meals as they were out playing freely with the other village children who were aged between 4 and 10. That was childhood as it should be and as it was for many of us when we were younger.

Maybe they would ride their bikes in the park but if they did not want to ride their bikes why should they not play in their garden?


I would expect children to sometimes play in the park, sometimes maybe in friends' gardens and fairly often in their own garden. I personally would not let a child of 4 go to the park without an adult or probably play in the street

missbiggles1

monkeychops wrote: »

If a child or children are shrieking and screaming all the time while playing then yes, I agree, this would be annoying but if not then I do not see a problem. Children should be allowed to play in their own garden and should be expected to make some noise.





Maybe they would ride their bikes in the park but if they did not want to ride their bikes why should they not play in their garden?


I would expect children to sometimes play in the park, sometimes maybe in friends' gardens and fairly often in their own garden. I personally would not let a child of 4 go to the park without an adult or probably play in the street

Neither would I.

greenwoodlad

Old_Git wrote: »

throw a party and invite all the neighbours.
If they dont turn up throw another party and say sorry you couldnt come to the last party maybe you could come to the next one

like the post ........a lot

Reams

greenwoodlad wrote: »

:)Apologies crossed wires - my main job is Night Work - i am a social worker , I work in Child Protection on a Night Duty Team, i work with vulnerable children & families ......But in my 4 days a week that I don't work nights i have my own gardening business that is probably why i have not had time to socialise with the neighbours - i work 60 hrs a week already !

Wow!
The gardener/nights thing. I imagined hydroponics whatever and caring for intensive tomato growing. Thanks for explaining the night gardener.


You are professional in every sense of the word. I would seriously suggest drinks and nibbles or a barbecue at your house. Knock on every door and invite them.


Just a tip, never mention 5 bedrooms or a conservatory, unless to grow succulents.

emweaver

greenwoodlad wrote: »

Neighbours ignore us ...where did we go wrong?
We moved out of the local city to a lovely village nearby 6 years ago , we are hardworking, we have 3 children who attend the local comprehensive school and the village school.. we worked hard for years to just afford to upsize to our 5 bed home on a small development as we wanted to have a better life in a rural setting for our children – BUT we now feel we are a working class family that doesn’t fit in.. in a middle class neighbourhood.
Most of our neighbours have top professional jobs:- solicitor, pilot, doctor, director Etc

We moved in and introduced ourselves and our children to our neighbours – within days – our children were asked not to play in our BACK garden as it was a “quiet street” and they should go to the park, 2 weeks later a neighbour had erected a 6ft fence and another neighbour put the self adhesive frosting on their kitchen windows & door…and put up new blinds at their windows which remain ½ way closed why?? We were not looking in !! - all we had tried to be was friendly – we had great neighbours when we lived in the city…we just think its snobbery – most of the neighbours children attend the local grammar school and have private tutors etc … there have been parties where most of the neighbours & children have been invited but we have not.- nor have our children

Some neighbours say Hi but will not engage in much conversation with us – but then we see them chatting with other neighbours for 20 minutes – some who moved in after us. 3 families even go on holiday together - we will not be beaten though - we always speak to them all , but they never speak if we dont - they can pass you in the street , as our immediate neighbour of 6 years did yesterday and did not speak - just looked ahead !

A friend in the village heard one of our neighbours saying that she will only let her daughter play with children who will be going to the grammar school now so they have the right influences! how can they be so cruel?

I work night shifts and sleep during the day – we live & let live – often our neighbours are noisy in the garden etc and prevent me from sleeping but its day time – and it’s my problem I work nights…I wouldn’t even complain, even when they have parties etc ..we have done our best to be quiet , respectable neighbours….

We love living in the village – but even at the local primary school we feel like outcasts in the school playground when we collect our daughter – all the mums and parents are in “cliques” or huddles etc PTA mums who “run” the school.. they just wont let new people in.. we’ve lived her 6 years now , we have made some friends in the village – just working parents like us with average kids …they live outside the village / on farms etc but not on our development !

Do any of you have these issues – of feeling left out / separate in your own area …or are we doing something wrong!? We keep thinking its us - we both work long shifts - often weekends - so we are seldom able to join in with village activities but when we do go to any event - we try to make conversation but people just pass the time of day and then go off to their group etc :mad:

Sounds like my neighbours, although they too are all working class just think and act like they are above us.

I just let them get on with it now.

Reams

emweaver wrote: »

Sounds like my neighbours, although they too are all working class just think and act like they are above us.

I just let them get on with it now.

I would love to have examples as to how THEY, there words get on with it.

southoftheriver

I'm working class made good I guess. I would never treat people like this. So sorry that has been your experience and I hope things get better for you.