Is it unreasonable to expect someone to turn up on time?

jaylee3

I haven't read all the thread yet, but YES it it maddening. There is NO excuse for it.

Like I have heard someone say before, it's like they think their time is more valuable than yours!

Once or twice is OK, but don't we all know that ONE person who is perpetually late?!

There is a woman at work, who is always anything from 5 to 20 minutes late, and she has 1001 excuses! There is not one single, valid reason for it. She has no children at home, she has no illness or disability or anything, and she lives 10 minutes drive from our workplace!

In fact, all the mums with kids still at school and home, who work where I work, are always ruddy early! And they are MUCH more busy and frazzled than she is!

It's so rude! It's like who do they think they are!

jaylee3

Maz wrote: »

Reminds me of a recent scenario when myself and a friend offered someone a lift to an event. Agreed pick up time for this person was 6.30pm. As we turned into her road, my friend's phone rang and it was her SHOUTING 'You said you'd be here at 6.30, you're a minute late, where the hell are you?' We were, literally, one minute late and they were still shouting down their phone when we pulled up! The person got in the car, not even a greeting and when we arrived, they just got out of the car and stumped off, not even a thank you.

We were agog at their rudeness and vowed never to offer again.

Wow! :rotfl: That's OTT. We went to pick up a friend (me and hubby) and the traffic was fierce, because of a big pile up of cars after a car crash, and we ended up 15 minutes late. I forgot to take my phone, so I couldn't let her know, and she was waiting in the rain for us.

All she said was 'thank God you are OK. I was worried you were involved in that big smash I just heard about.' She certainly didn't chastise us for being late!

jaylee3

OK I have read a few more posts now!!! I agree with the posts that say 'well he is giving you a lift, and you should be grateful etc,' but how do you know she isn't paying him to do it?

IMO if he can't come on time and keeps making her late, then he IS a bit useless, and they would gave made an agreement for what was going to happen and the pick up time etc...

But yes I agree, if it's becoming an issue, find alternative transport. But on the whole, I detest lateness.

FBaby

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Hopefully, when you're older, time will be less rushed.

I don't know anybody who would treat a social arrangement this specifically, everybody I know arranges things on the basis of "see you around midday" rather than expecting anybody to be there on the dot. Our working lives are or were ruled by the clock so we don't want to carry this over into our social lives.

You're probably right, it must be an age thing! Maybe when I am retired and have plenty of time on my side, I'll probably feel different, but as it is, I don't, therefore I expect people to be respectful as I am and arrive at the time they say they will.

Pollycat

jaylee3 wrote: »

I haven't read all the thread yet, but YES it it maddening. There is NO excuse for it.

Like I have heard someone say before, it's like they think their time is more valuable than yours!

Once or twice is OK, but don't we all know that ONE person who is perpetually late?!

There is a woman at work, who is always anything from 5 to 20 minutes late, and she has 1001 excuses! There is not one single, valid reason for it. She has no children at home, she has no illness or disability or anything, and she lives 10 minutes drive from our workplace!

In fact, all the mums with kids still at school and home, who work where I work, are always ruddy early! And they are MUCH more busy and frazzled than she is!

It's so rude! It's like who do they think they are!

As far as the person that the OP is complaining about, he is the person giving her a lift.
Giving her a lift when there are no buses and she is not allowed to drive.

I would read the whole thread if I were you, it's quite illuminating.

Maybe this person is trying to give the OP a massive hint that they don't want to do this favour anymore.
Maybe this person has realised that the OP is pretty ungrateful for the lift.

I find lateness incredibly rude.
I always try to plan journeys so that I have enough time if there are delays.
But, there are (rare) occasions when I'm unavoidably late.
For example, if there has been an accident on the nearby motorway, traffic builds up on local roads.
But if I know I'm going to be late, I contact the person I'm meeting to let them know.

As I see it, this thread isn't a case of meeting friends, the OP refers to this person providing a lift as 'someone I know'.

Regardless of my attitude to lateness, in a situation like the OP describes, I'd be pretty grateful that I was getting a lift and would just put up with the 15 minutes late.

seven-day-weekend

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Hopefully, when you're older, time will be less rushed.

I don't know anybody who would treat a social arrangement this specifically, everybody I know arranges things on the basis of "see you around midday" rather than expecting anybody to be there on the dot. Our working lives are or were ruled by the clock so we don't want to carry this over into our social lives.

I'm a Senior and if I say 'come at midday', I expect them to arrive between 10 to and 10 past. However, I would prefer people to be they by midday (don't care if they are early).

I would be really cross if they turned up any later than quarter past.


If I didn't expect them to come at a particular time, I'd have said 'turn up whenever you like between 11 and 2'.

jaylee3

I am a bit like that SDW ^^^ Up to 10 minutes late yet, but any more than that is annoying. Especially if they don't let you know!

jaylee3

Pollycat wrote: »

As far as the person that the OP is complaining about, he is the person giving her a lift.
Giving her a lift when there are no buses and she is not allowed to drive.

I would read the whole thread if I were you, it's quite illuminating.

Maybe this person is trying to give the OP a massive hint that they don't want to do this favour anymore.
Maybe this person has realised that the OP is pretty ungrateful for the lift.

I find lateness incredibly rude.
I always try to plan journeys so that I have enough time if there are delays.
But, there are (rare) occasions when I'm unavoidably late.
For example, if there has been an accident on the nearby motorway, traffic builds up on local roads.
But if I know I'm going to be late, I contact the person I'm meeting to let them know.

As I see it, this thread isn't a case of meeting friends, the OP refers to this person providing a lift as 'someone I know'.

Regardless of my attitude to lateness, in a situation like the OP describes, I'd be pretty grateful that I was getting a lift and would just put up with the 15 minutes late.

I have read more of it now Pollycat, and I posted again not long after to reflect that. (post 56.)

Brighton_belle

Indie_Kid wrote: »

15 minutes is a bit of a problem when it's 7.15am or earlier and bloody cold or dark. He was told by our running coach (and said he would be there then) to pick me up at that time to allow plenty of time to pick someone else up and get there on time, allowing for traffic, etc.

I know people have reacted to the coach telling him what to do, but there is a chance it isn't quite as bad as it seems:
My memory tells me Indie Kid has Asperger's, and I've a vague feeling the running club may have a number of members with such issues: it my be the person giving the lift lacks social awareness/organisation skills and it's part of the coaches job to help him navigate life by going through what time he would need to leave to get to a certain place on time.
If it is the same guy as last year, I recall he had dyslexia, and that can mean he has great difficulty in organising his life.
So it may be a case of a man who finds organisation really difficult, giving a lift to someone for whom preciseness is critical and who also lacks the empathy to appreciate a) someone is doing them a favour and b) it's quite difficult for them.


If I had to be somewhere at a certain time, I would find being at the mercy of someone else's lateness very frustrating, especially if there was no other way to get there (including public transport). My frustration would on the surface be at them (but I'd contain it because they were doing me a favour)but ultimately at the difficulty in being independent.

seven-day-weekend

With the OP,he is doing her a favour, so I don't think she should grumble.