Is it unreasonable to expect someone to turn up on time?

missbiggles1

Bella73 wrote: »

I have to disagree with you on this, having the manners to be on time for pre-arranged appointments is not being anal as you put it but polite and correct.


I play in a concert band so being on time is very important, however, the same people are late EVERY single time...you obviously wouldn't worry about this, however, when you are sitting on stage waiting to play and the late people barge in to be honest it gets on my wick and it delays everything for everyone else so yes I think being consistently late is rude and ignorant and shows you only give a toss about yourself.


The odd occasion I have no problem with but constant lateness is rude and if that makes me anal then so be it, I would rather be like that than an ignorant git that everyone slags off behind my back.

I think it far ruder to slag people off behind their backs than to be late occasionally.

dandelionclock30

Can you get a bike or a moped or learn to drive so you can make this journey yourself without asking him?. In my experience people are not keen on giving lifts and I would prefer to make my own way if at all possible.
If you cant do any of these then could you arrange the time 1/2 hour early to allow for his lateness?
I dont think its as bad him being late calling for you from home as opposed to leaving you waiting in a public place. However he still doesnt really value punctuality himself.

marisco_2

OP you don't refer to this person who gives you a lift as a friend, but simply as someone that you know. Could it be that there are reasons he hasn't disclosed to you as to why he runs late, that he tries to brush off using excuses? I'd be taking that possibility into consideration rather than concluding that he is purposefully unreliable. Either way you aren't going to change him. Relying solely on yourself to get from A to B, is the only way to avoid being niggled by others approaches.

Indie_Kid

duchy wrote: »

If it is that they oversleep could you not ring them 20 minutes before they are due to leave to make sure they are up?

I am not his parent and he usually knows the week before what time he should be meeting me.

Normally, we pick someone else up along the way. So, if he's late picking me up, he's late picking other people up. It's usually early in the morning too. Don't really fancy waiting around early in the morning for him because he can't be arsed to go to bed at a reasonable time.

I am not allowed to drive. Debating on whether getting a bicycle though.

My friends and I have better things to do than worry about a few minutes here and there and we aren't so anal about time as many people here seem to be.

It's never a few minutes. It's normal for him to be at least 15 minutes. As I mentioned before - a few minutes doesn't bother me and I'm used to it. Although, his excuse of traffic is more believable than this other persons excuse of oversleeping.

dandelionclock30

15 minutes isnt too bad really. An hour or 2 would be. Its not worth getting upset about.

Indie_Kid

Actually, he tells me that he went to bed at 1am (despite know he needed to be up around 6.30) and then comes up with pathetic excuse of having his parents around and then says he couldn't get rid of them.

15 minutes is a bit of a problem when it's 7.15am or earlier and bloody cold or dark. He was told by our running coach (and said he would be there then) to pick me up at that time to allow plenty of time to pick someone else up and get there on time, allowing for traffic, etc.

notanewuser

Yep. Knew it. It's the bloke who thought you were together.

duchy

What would you do if they weren't able to pick you up ?

Honestly If it bugs you that much make other arrangements .... or as it is a home pick up- regard it as something to have to deal with to get a useful favour.

missbiggles1

Indie_Kid wrote: »

Actually, he tells me that he went to bed at 1am (despite know he needed to be up around 6.30) and then comes up with pathetic excuse of having his parents around and then says he couldn't get rid of them.

15 minutes is a bit of a problem when it's 7.15am or earlier and bloody cold or dark. He was told by our running coach (and said he would be there then) to pick me up at that time to allow plenty of time to pick someone else up and get there on time, allowing for traffic, etc.

I'd be pretty miffed if someone who I was doing a favour for started questioning the time I went to bed or my family arrangements but then I'd be livid if a running coach told me I had to pick people up at a specific time!

krlyr

Unless he's getting paid to pick you up, I'd be grateful he does it at all, whether he's 15 minutes late or not.

If he's doing it off his own back, he's perfectly entitled to go to bed at whatever time he likes. Who are you to deem his reasons pathetic?

If you don't like it, I'd recommend finding your own form of transport - that way you're not at the mercy of other people's schedules.