Is it unreasonable to expect someone to turn up on time?

Indie_Kid

This is getting ridiculous now.

There's someone I know who sometimes picks me up and a time is always agreed. He is never on time and always uses ridiculous excuses. Is it really too much to ask that he turns up on time? It's almost alway because he overslept. If it was something like traffic, I would be ok with it. But it's the same excuse over and over again.:mad:

Curlywurli

What is he picking you up for? Does he want to pick you up? Some people are always late. I used to be friends with someone who you could guarantee would always be 30 mins late so I always adjusted my meeting time so I wasn't waiting around forever.

duchy

Some people are just useless.
I used to call my ex a time optimist as he always assumed traffic would be light, everything would take the minimum time.
When we were together if we were due somewhere at 8 I'd tell him we were due there at 7.30 after we split he always arrive late complaining the traffic on the M25 had made him late picking up our son. It turned out he reckoned as on a Sunday morning he could do the journey in 30 minutes he felt he could allow the same time on a Friday evening [facepalm]. He was always so surprised the traffic was heavy !

He was so bad I told him in complete seriousness that if he was late on our wedding day I would not be marrying him (his best man and step dad turned up hours early to collect him to make sure he made it in time lol)

It isn't always not caring it can be a mental block.....Are they late for everything or just for you? If it is that they oversleep could you not ring them 20 minutes before they are due to leave to make sure they are up?

lostinrates

Indie_Kid wrote: »

This is getting ridiculous now.

There's someone I know who sometimes picks me up and a time is always agreed. He is never on time and always uses ridiculous excuses. Is it really too much to ask that he turns up on time? It's almost alway because he overslept. If it was something like traffic, I would be ok with it. But it's the same excuse over and over again.:mad:

Its frustrating and rude.

But, there is another option. Don't rely on them, make your own way to where you are going. Don't allow yourself to be put in this position.

seven-day-weekend

Indie_Kid wrote: »

This is getting ridiculous now.

There's someone I know who sometimes picks me up and a time is always agreed. He is never on time and always uses ridiculous excuses. Is it really too much to ask that he turns up on time? It's almost alway because he overslept. If it was something like traffic, I would be ok with it. But it's the same excuse over and over again.:mad:

It would drive me crazy.

I have a friend who is always late. So why does she just not start out thirty minutes earlier? Beats me.

I am never late unless it is circumstances absolutely beyond my control.

My husband and I were going from our house in Spain to Malaga airport once, usually took (on a good day) 1.5 hours. So we allowed two hours to be on the safe side. Then we realised there were road works part way along the route, so we added another half hour. Then we realised it would be rush hour in Malaga when we got there, so we stuck another half hour on. We had to be two hours early for the flight, and had already allowed for that.

We arrived at 1400 for a flight at 1815

iammumtoone

Depends if he is doing you a favour by picking you up as you need a lift then I would just be grateful that you have a lift even if it is always late. On the other hand if he is picking you up as he needs you to help him with something then yes I would be mad.

missbiggles1

If someone's doing you a favour, you need to accept it on their terms - if you were picking him up and he wasn't ready it'd be quite a different thing.

Personally, I think that punctuality is much overated, as long as the lack of it isn't taken to extremes.

SailorSam

It annoys me as well Indie, I always give myself plenty of time and it seems lazy & thoughtless that others can't. I'm not perfect there have been times i've arrived late but it's very much the exception rather than the rule.

missbiggles1

duchy wrote: »

Some people are just useless.
I used to call my ex a time optimist as he always assumed traffic would be light, everything would take the minimum time.
When we were together if we were due somewhere at 8 I'd tell him we were due there at 7.30 after we split he always arrive late complaining the traffic on the M25 had made him late picking up our son. It turned out he reckoned as on a Sunday morning he could do the journey in 30 minutes he felt he could allow the same time on a Friday evening [facepalm]. He was always so surprised the traffic was heavy !

He was so bad I told him in complete seriousness that if he was late on our wedding day I would not be marrying him (his best man and step dad turned up hours early to collect him to make sure he made it in time lol)

It isn't always not caring it can be a mental block.....Are they late for everything or just for you? If it is that they oversleep could you not ring them 20 minutes before they are due to leave to make sure they are up?

I like that expression, it describes me very well.:o:)

paddy's_mum

No, it's not. It is surely basic good manners to honour an arrangement that one freely entered into.

I'd bet money that your 'friend' would be furious if he was the one constantly inconvenienced, kept waiting and having his time wasted.

I had a friend like this once. After dozens of occasions where she turned up late for lunch (my buddy phoned up for a gossip) or didn't arrive at the meeting place (I had to finish my manicure) I realised that she didn't care much about anyone except herself.

There is a massive contempt for the other person lurking behind this kind of behaviour since in my view, your friend is saying that his time is far more valuable than yours .. and your place is to be the supplicant and grateful for the few shreds of consideration he deigns to allow you.

Not in reality a friend at all and I recommend that you get rid.

missbiggles1

paddy's_mum wrote: »

No, it's not. It is surely basic good manners to honour an arrangement that one freely entered into.

I'd bet money that your 'friend' would be furious if he was the one constantly inconvenienced, kept waiting and having his time wasted.

I had a friend like this once. After dozens of occasions where she turned up late for lunch (my buddy phoned up for a gossip) or didn't arrive at the meeting place (I had to finish my manicure) I realised that she didn't care much about anyone except herself.

There is a massive contempt for the other person lurking behind this kind of behaviour since in my view, your friend is saying that his time is far more valuable than yours .. and your place is to be the supplicant and grateful for the few shreds of consideration he deigns to allow you.

Not in reality a friend at all and I recommend that you get rid.

Wow - what an overeaction and how intolerant!