Is it unreasonable to expect someone to turn up on time?

Pollycat

iammumtoone wrote: »

Depends if he is doing you a favour by picking you up as you need a lift then I would just be grateful that you have a lift even if it is always late. On the other hand if he is picking you up as he needs you to help him with something then yes I would be mad.

missbiggles1 wrote: »

If someone's doing you a favour, you need to accept it on their terms - if you were picking him up and he wasn't ready it'd be quite a different thing.

Personally, I think that punctuality is much overated, as long as the lack of it isn't taken to extremes.

I think that if he is doing you a favour you should decide to either accept it or make alternative arrangements for travel.

I really dislike people who are late, I think it is the height of rudeness and it says 'my time is more important to you, I don't care if I leave you waiting for ages'.

But - I would not apply that to someone who is doing me a favour by giving me a lift.

Indie_Kid wrote: »

This is getting ridiculous now.

There's someone I know who sometimes picks me up and a time is always agreed. He is never on time and always uses ridiculous excuses. Is it really too much to ask that he turns up on time? It's almost alway because he overslept. If it was something like traffic, I would be ok with it. But it's the same excuse over and over again.:mad:

Why not ask him point-blank if it's too much to expect him to be on time?

If I were giving someone a lift as a favour and they were clearly getting irritated by me not being on time, I'd tell them in no uncertain terms that they can make their own way to wherever they are going.

Maybe you should decide which is the lesser of 2 evils - put up with his lateness or make your own arrangements.

Georgiegirl256

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Personally, I think that punctuality is much overated, as long as the lack of it isn't taken to extremes.

You don't think being late is rude then?

I don't mind if someone is a few minutes late, or maybe even longer if they have a good reason for it. But to be continually late, is extremely rude. Do they think their time is more important than the person they're leaving standing around?

LilElvis

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Wow - what an overeaction and how intolerant!

It's possible your friends feel the same way about your tardiness, but haven't reach the point yet where they want to lose your friendship over it.

seven-day-weekend

paddy's_mum wrote: »

No, it's not. It is surely basic good manners to honour an arrangement that one freely entered into.

I'd bet money that your 'friend' would be furious if he was the one constantly inconvenienced, kept waiting and having his time wasted.

I had a friend like this once. After dozens of occasions where she turned up late for lunch (my buddy phoned up for a gossip) or didn't arrive at the meeting place (I had to finish my manicure) I realised that she didn't care much about anyone except herself.

There is a massive contempt for the other person lurking behind this kind of behaviour since in my view, your friend is saying that his time is far more valuable than yours .. and your place is to be the supplicant and grateful for the few shreds of consideration he deigns to allow you.

Not in reality a friend at all and I recommend that you get rid.

I don't think this is the case with every late person (I know my friend often gets ready on time and then thinks she may as well do this job, or that job, as she is too early.......).

However I agree with many late people it is that. They DO think it doesn't matter if you are kept waiting and that what they are doing is more important.

I do actually find it very annoying though. How hard is it to get somewhere on time if you can just be AR$£d to make the effort?

Whether you think it is worth unfriending them for that depends how much you like them otherwise.

We have a friend like this too. One day when he was an hour late for a barbecue, we just carried on without him and there was no food left when he finally got there. . Thought it was fair enough. We like him otherwise so wouldn't fall out with him over it.

Indie_Kid

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

You don't think being late is rude then?

I don't mind if someone is a few minutes late, or maybe even longer if they have a good reason for it. But to be continually late, is extremely rude. Do they think their time is more important than the person they're leaving standing around?

Agreed. I once received a text from a friend around 6pm. He was due to pick me up sometime between 630 and 645. He told me he was going to be 20 minutes late. He arrived at 650 and explained it was work, which was fair enough. Whereas oversleeping and running out of petrol (surely you know if that's the case?) are just rubbish excuses. I do remember receiving an apology because another friend had turned up 3 minutes late. Normally, I put a few minutes running late down to traffic.

I don't drive and there are no buses running at that time of morning.

I was once about an hour late and text my friend telling him we were running late. He phoned and asked if I could tell him when I know what's going on, which I did.

notanewuser

Is it the bloke who thinks/thought you were together?

Who may or may not be this guy.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/5031309

Pollycat

Indie_Kid wrote: »

Agreed. I once received a text from a friend around 6pm. He was due to pick me up sometime between 630 and 645. He told me he was going to be 20 minutes late. He arrived at 650 and explained it was work, which was fair enough. Whereas oversleeping and running out of petrol (surely you know if that's the case?) are just rubbish excuses. I do remember receiving an apology because another friend had turned up 3 minutes late. Normally, I put a few minutes running late down to traffic.

I don't drive and there are no buses running at that time of morning.

I was once about an hour late and text my friend telling him we were running late. He phoned and asked if I could tell him when I know what's going on, which I did.

I'd be very careful then that you don't hack this person off with your expectations of timeliness.

Whether you think his excuses are rubbish or not, he is doing you a favour.
In fact, if you have no alternative method of transport, it's a massive favour.

Is this lateness affecting your job?
If it is, I'd have a calm word with him about the impact of you getting in late & hope it does the trick.


Your examples of texting friends or vice versa if you're going to be late are not the same as someone doing you a favour by giving you a lift.

iammumtoone

Indie_Kid wrote: »

I don't drive and there are no buses running at that time of morning.

Then you should think yourself lucky you have a friend that is kind enough to help you out by giving you a lift.

I appreciate it must be annoying that you get ready on time but just make sure you have something planned to do in the time you are ready until he arrives, so you are thinking about something else rather than clock watching and getting mad at how late he is.

The other option is to pay for a taxi but taxis are notorious for being late as well.

missbiggles1

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

You don't think being late is rude then?

I don't mind if someone is a few minutes late, or maybe even longer if they have a good reason for it. But to be continually late, is extremely rude. Do they think their time is more important than the person they're leaving standing around?

Rather a lot of theys in that sentence, who do you mean?

missbiggles1

Pollycat wrote: »

I'd be very careful then that you don't hack this person off with your expectations of timeliness.

Whether you think his excuses are rubbish or not, he is doing you a favour.
In fact, if you have no alternative method of transport, it's a massive favour.

Is this lateness affecting your job?
If it is, I'd have a calm word with him about the impact of you getting in late & hope it does the trick.


Your examples of texting friends or vice versa if you're going to be late are not the same as someone doing you a favour by giving you a lift.

The OP doesn't work, it's the friend who gives her a lift who does.