Is it unreasonable to expect someone to turn up on time?

burnoutbabe

it is annoying if you are meeting people in a pub at say 7.30 and everyone arrives late, so you are sitting on your tod, in a busy pub, waiting for people, maybe with a seat, maybe not. Looks awkward and like you have been stood up.

And no "i'm late" texts as everyone is on the tube and so can't text (though could email if on right network)

to the OP: does the coach not comment when 3 of you are late to arrive every single time?

Kim_kim

paddy's_mum wrote: »

I realised that she didn't care much about anyone except herself.

There is a massive contempt for the other person lurking behind this kind of behaviour since in my view, your friend is saying that his time is far more valuable than yours ...

That's exactly my thoughts about people who are always late.

Lily-Rose_3

paddy's_mum wrote: »

No, it's not. It is surely basic good manners to honour an arrangement that one freely entered into.

I'd bet money that your 'friend' would be furious if he was the one constantly inconvenienced, kept waiting and having his time wasted.

I had a friend like this once. After dozens of occasions where she turned up late for lunch (my buddy phoned up for a gossip) or didn't arrive at the meeting place (I had to finish my manicure) I realised that she didn't care much about anyone except herself.

There is a massive contempt for the other person lurking behind this kind of behaviour since in my view, your friend is saying that his time is far more valuable than yours .. and your place is to be the supplicant and grateful for the few shreds of consideration he deigns to allow you.

Not in reality a friend at all and I recommend that you get rid.

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Wow - what an overeaction and how intolerant!

So you're fine with someone turning up late over and over and over again, totally disrespecting the person they're meeting, or whose house they're going to, or who has the decency and common courtesy to cook them a meal?

And because someone has had enough, and has decided to kick this useless friend to the kerb, you call them intolerant and say they're over-reacting?

I agree with Paddy's Mum that these people who do this DO think their time is more valuable than yours, and that they have NO respect for anyone.

I can only assume that YOU are someone who doesn't care if they turn up on time to your friends and acquaintances.

If someone turned up really late to our house for no reason, if we were having a meal, and they had not had the courtesy to inform us; they would find that nobody was in. We would give it say 45-50 minutes, and then go to the pub!

Some of the rudest people I have ever known, were the mothers of the friends of my daughter when she was little/younger. I lost count of the amount of times that their little darlings were at our house, (much more often than my daughter was at THEIR house!) and they were supposed to pick them up at 4.30-5.00pm. At least once a week, it would be 6.00-7.00pm, (with no word from them at all!) So we were left frustrated and angry, not even knowing if or when they were coming, AND we had to give their child dinner!

So rude and obnoxious and inconsiderate. :mad:

I am shocked at people on here thinking this kind of behaviour is actually OK and acceptable, and as I said, I can only think that this is how 'they' behave. Ergo; it's normal behaviour for them.

dandelionclock30

If you are getting a free lift to a sports group in these circumstances you cant complain. Its not like a taxi service.Its free and they are helping you out.
Best thing OP can do is make her own way there by cycling or ordering a taxi.Or changing running clubs to one which meets during the day and then go by bus.

missbiggles1

Lily-Rose wrote: »

So you're fine with someone turning up late over and over and over again, totally disrespecting the person they're meeting, or whose house they're going to, or who has the decency and common courtesy to cook them a meal?

And because someone has had enough, and has decided to kick this useless friend to the kerb, you call them intolerant and say they're over-reacting?

I agree with Paddy's Mum that these people who do this DO think their time is more valuable than yours, and that they have NO respect for anyone.

I can only assume that YOU are someone who doesn't care if they turn up on time to your friends and acquaintances.

If someone turned up really late to our house for no reason, if we were having a meal, and they had not had the courtesy to inform us; they would find that nobody was in. We would give it say 45-50 minutes, and then go to the pub!

Some of the rudest people I have ever known, were the mothers of the friends of my daughter when she was little/younger. I lost count of the amount of times that their little darlings were at our house, (much more often than my daughter was at THEIR house!) and they were supposed to pick them up at 4.30-5.00pm. At least once a week, it would be 6.00-7.00pm, (with no word from them at all!) So we were left frustrated and angry, not even knowing if or when they were coming, AND we had to give their child dinner!

So rude and obnoxious and inconsiderate. :mad:

I am shocked at people on here thinking this kind of behaviour is actually OK and acceptable, and as I said, I can only think that this is how 'they' behave. Ergo; it's normal behaviour for them.

I don't think anybody's been talking about somebody being an hour or so late for something - that really counts as a no show, doesn't it?

missbiggles1

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

If I was early, I too would drive round the block or read a book. In fact that's what I normally do, so I can knock on the door at eight o' clock. .

I personally wouldn't mind if they were ten minutes early. Rather that than late.

How can you get a meal ready if you don't know what time people are coming? Unless you want your guests to wait ages for their food. If I'd said come at eight for a meal, then I'd expect to be sitting down for it at twenty past.

And the people I know would consider it a great rush to be sitting down to eat within twenty minutes of arriving - it's as if you can't wait to get the food on the table and get rid of them.

(By the way, this discussion shows how much you must have disliked the Spanish way of life and how well suited we would be to it.:rotfl:)

Lily-Rose_3

missbiggles1 wrote: »

And the people I know would consider it a great rush to be sitting down to eat within twenty minutes of arriving - it's as if you can't wait to get the food on the table and get rid of them.



(By the way, this discussion shows how much you must have disliked the Spanish way of life and how well suited we would be to it.)

Wow, talk about making something out of nothing.

Inventing your own little scenario there aren't ya?

SDW said NOTHING about shoving peoples food down their face so she could get rid of them. Nor did she imply it.

You have literally made that up.

She simply said that she likes people to meet up for the time agreed.

Good grief.

seven-day-weekend

missbiggles1 wrote: »

And the people I know would consider it a great rush to be sitting down to eat within twenty minutes of arriving - it's as if you can't wait to get the food on the table and get rid of them.

(By the way, this discussion shows how much you must have disliked the Spanish way of life and how well suited we would be to it.:rotfl:)

I never could get used to Spanish time! But that is the way they do things, so we accepted it. I didn't dislike the way of life otherwise though. I am quite laid back with most things.

With the dinner guests, we eat first and then sit around talking afterwards. It's not that we want rid of them. Just that, they've come for dinner, let's have dinner (and I'm hungry!).

If I went to your house I would be thinking' why have we had to come at 7.30 for dinner when dinner does not appear until 10?' In fact the few I have been to where it is that late that is precisely what we have thought. And then we have had to go home almost as soon as we have eaten (because we are tired). Especially as we were there at 7.30 on the dot!

DaveTheMus

It's easy OP..........


Get to the running club under your own volition.

Indie_Kid

DaveTheMus wrote: »

It's easy OP..........


Get to the running club under your own volition.

eh? The running club is just around the corner, The races aren't. Although, I am planning on leaving at the end of the year.

If you are getting a free lift to a sports group in these circumstances you cant complain. Its not like a taxi service.Its free and they are helping you out.

The lift isn't free - we do have to give him petrol money.

He did once agree to pick me up at 3.30pm (he actually said he would) and by 3.45pm hadn't turned up. Turns out he didn't read what I wrote at all. Now there's a surprise.

And yes, he is the same guy I was having problems earlier this year. He's now doing the childish thing of rubbing in the fact that he's with someone. Oh, as if I care!