Time to stop dreaming and wake up to reality ...

DollyDreamer

Well after a month of reading everyone else's stories I have decided the only way I'm going to do this and stick to it is with the support of this community !!

I guess my LB has been flickering but it's now shining brightly as of today 31/07/2014 I have officially admitted my LBM and start the journey along this rocky road to financial freedom.

I'm a single mum of 2 amazing boys I work full time and have found myself in this situation if I'm honest having lost my mum to cancer. It's not an excuse and in trying to grieve the loss and pain I have managed to use various things, shopping, food and worst of all gambling as my distraction. I'm great with cash it's when I sit in front of a computer the reality is it never seems real !!! I don't enjoy buying things and I don't gamble to win sounds crazy hey I know it is ... But it's been the distraction a distraction which has now spiralled into more sadness and misery and it's time to stop face things head on and clear the debt clear my head and focus on a future full of smiles and happier times.

Ok here goes the big fat yukky reality that is my debt !!! I'm still struggling not to swallow sand as my head is still somewhat submerged in the desert
My current debt stands at an eye watering £17,920

Tesco loan £9000
Barclaycard CC £3500
MBNA CC £900
Mint CC £600
Next £320
Very £1100
Overdraft £2500

A lot of this debt is total waste and I've paid it down then ran it back it really just never feels real time to wake up it's very real and it's about to get hammered down as best as I can as quick as I can ... Am I setting a deadline yes I am but right now I just need to focus and make an indent for the first couple of months.

So let the games begin this is my life overhaul my taking back control

Buffythedebtslayer

Morning,


The thing I found about grief is that you just want to lose yourself for a while, escape isn't the right word. I wanted to be consumed by something else.


I found watching hours of tv, things I already knew like Buffy and Angel, if I was alone I would put a series on. It was comfort. I am so sorry you lost your Mum. Impossible some days. Big hugs XXX


Sorry bit heavy for a first post in a diary. Now have you self-excluded from the gambling sites? I am sure there is a thread about it somewhere?


Have you thought about joining some challenges? No spend days (NSD) or the make a 10 pound a day challenge? They can be helpful. I find posting in my diary helps loads to keep me focussed.


anyhow hope you have a good day XXXX

DollyDreamer

Thanks for the words of support !!

I have started the day having not slept a wink the enormity of the problems are weighing heavily...
If I am honest I need a life overhaul.

I have got myself into this mess it's time to climb the mountain and get myself out of it.
Beating the debt is only part of the changes I need to make I also need to lose weight and find love (lost partner early in mums illness due to his inability to cope with emotions of situation) but importantly I need to take baby steps to avoid falling at the early stages .

I plan on setting a target and I would like a debt free date but to start with my aim is to break the 17k mark and lose 7lb in weight to boot !!
I don't know how long this will take or how I am going to tackle it but any ideas or support are very welcome. I have started selling on ebay but not sure how much I have to sell or how much of a dent that will make.

I need advice on how to do a signature I'm totally new to forums and social media so I've never done this sort of thing before.
I am a very private person so no one knows about the debt or my troubles and I like it this way.

Right off I go not smiling but the tears have subsided and I'm ready to begin .....

National_Debtline

Hi Dolly,

Welcome to MSE!

I'm sorry to learn of your loss. I'm pleased you've found this forum as the amount of help and support you'll get is phenomenal. The vast majority of our callers seek help from our charity due to a change in their circumstances, and sadly that often can involve the passing of a close family member or partner. The fact that you're on here speaks volumes, it's clear you want to get your debts in order - and I can assure you there are plenty of options to help you do that. When you feel ready, please do post up your 'statement of account' on here. This will allow us to help you to budget effectively and ensure that you have sufficient to live on and to meet your essential outgoings. Whatever is left would be the amount you can then offer your creditors. We can then further advise you on what options you'll have to get the debts in order.

If there's anything I can do to help you, please feel free to ask. I look forward to following your diary!

Very best wishes,

David @ National Debtline.

Divingmad

Hi Dolly,

Sorry to hear about your loss, the loss of parents is not a great feeling (I can fully sympathise).
BUT.....welcome to the forum. There's loads of great advice on here, and loads of welcoming and friendly peeps that will provide encouragement, guidance, and even a virtual kick in the rear should you need it.
To update your signature, click on the 'quick links' tab, then click on 'edit signature'. You can then add information as you feel.
Have you done an SOA (Statement of Affairs - link below) so that you can accurately account for all your income/outgoings, when you get round to it make sure you have bank statements, receipts and bills (especially credit card interest rates), and the more informative of the forumites will provide advice on what you can do to reduce expenditure.

http://www.stoozing.com/calculator/soa.php

Hope this helps, and have subscribed to keep up with your journey

DM
x

beanielou

Shiny new diary.
Keep posting!

DollyDreamer

Hello Guys and Girls

Well thank you for your responses its a fantastic boost that people not only take the time to read but then post to offer support !!

I have completed a SOA but as I said I am pretty private so at this stage I have decided not to post it for all to see but Thanks for the link it was insightful and has actually cheered me up

I am thankfully currently in a position where the Grizzly Bear (my debt) is manageable so starting this now is perfect because I havent let things go to the point I cant cope...

SO here we go with the plan of attack I have decided that my loan which I will continue paying in the background and my overdraft are not priority so they will just have to tick along for the time being. Its the pesky credit cards and catalogues which will first feel the wrath of my new found debt busting abilities !!

Today I have paid a couple of small cheques into the bank so when they clear I will transfer them to the debt. I am aiming for clearing the Next balance first it is the smallest and I am hoping it will give me a boost and push me to continue.
There is also some money in my paypal account from eBay which when it hits the £100 mark currently on £80 I will transfer. I dont want to transfer it too soon as this month is super tight with school holidays, needing to buy uniform for new school year etc. I also have a week away at the coast towards the end of the month so I dont want to scupper my good intentions by releasing any money set aside to tackle the Grizzly Bear :rotfl:

I plan on updating my figures every month so I can see real progress being made and so you can all help me stay on track.

This can be done I just have to believe in me !!!

LosingMyDebt

Hi Dolly,

Really sorry to hear of your loss.

You are doing the right thing now though. Identifying a problem is the hardest part and you've done that.

I've subscribed to your diary and I hope I can help in some small way in the future!

Good luck!!

tootallulah

Sorry to hear of your loss the cliches are true it does get easier over time but that is hard to believe in the early days. Good luck with your debt reduction, keep posting it will help.

DollyDreamer

Well its Monday morning and as I didnt get chance to post yesterday I thought I would quickly drop in before work
My least favourite part of the week knowing I have work for the next 5 days ...

So Sunday was a good day and it was more importantly a NSD !!! Now if I am honest I do have slight confusion over what constitutes a NSD so I could do with some guidance. Does it mean you spend nothing at all including direct debits going out or for example food shopping budgeted for the week OR does it mean you dont spend anything extra over an above what is in your budget ? Yesterday I know I didnt spend a bean so that really is a NSD but going forward I want to set myself a target for NSD and it needs to be realistic.

I spent Saturday evening and all of yesterday with friends and family it was really lovely its helped lift my mood and keep things in perspective.

Right work is calling so I had better disappear for now

DollyDreamer

An early morning post again my days have left me worn out and I havent logged on instead seeking solace in my bed at least I cant spend in there !!

So here goes Monday turned into a NSD again which I was very pleased with that made it 2 days running. I like how not spending money doesnt make me feel like I'm missing out on anything.

As for the debt well obviously I am paying all the basic minimum payments but yesterday I made an over payment of £57
Now I have been reading many diaries and I have seen some massive overpayments so I know its not a huge amount but the satisfaction I have is immense.

It is only day 6 today on the start of this and I know its not going to happen over night but it is going to happen and that can only be a good thing.

Right off I go for now I am going to try popping back later I need to read up on diaries the inspiration is in them !!!