Female Friend Ends Friendship

raven83

I don't really get why the OP is feeling so annoyed, unless I have missed something? On the one hand he is annoyed because she potentially has a boyfriend and he feels like she has "dumped" him for this new fella, but also the fact he doesn't want her but doesn't really want anyone else to have her.

I think you need to be honest with yourself about how you are really feeling OP.

HeavyMetalFan

Why am I annoyed?

Nothing to do with a sense of being dumped at all. I could have even accepted it if she had said that she wouldn't have as much free time but kept up the work relationship. I just can't understand why anyone would engineer a situation to fall out with someone for no reason whatsoever. Things were said that were completely unnecessary which twisted the knife somewhat. As I say, I just can't understand.

raven83

HeavyMetalFan wrote: »

Why am I annoyed?

Nothing to do with a sense of being dumped at all. I could have even accepted it if she had said that she wouldn't have as much free time but kept up the work relationship. I just can't understand why anyone would engineer a situation to fall out with someone for no reason whatsoever. Things were said that were completely unnecessary which twisted the knife somewhat. As I say, I just can't understand.

Well in that case she probably did it for a reaction to see if it would force your hand! Maybe she got confused with the signals and wanted a way to see how you really felt without being rejected.

The nastiness is down to the fact that she obviously didn't get the response she wanted. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

emsywoo123

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OP, I think onwards and upwards is the answer. We can only really sort of second guess her reasons. Let the dust settle and see what happens.

JIL

HeavyMetalFan wrote: »

Why am I annoyed?

Nothing to do with a sense of being dumped at all. I could have even accepted it if she had said that she wouldn't have as much free time but kept up the work relationship. I just can't understand why anyone would engineer a situation to fall out with someone for no reason whatsoever. Things were said that were completely unnecessary which twisted the knife somewhat. As I say, I just can't understand.

Rightly or wrongly she has just prioritised her boyfriend over your friendship.
Its very possible she would have done the same even if you were a girl. Which probably means she did only ever see you as a friend to hang out with until she found something better.
Chalk it down to experience and move on.

fufu_banterwaite

To the OP sorry if I derailed your original thread.

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For what it is worth would you really want to be friends again with this girl after the way she has treated you recently? I don’t think I would.

PenguinJim

I don't have anything constructive to add, except that I consistently read the title of this thread as "Female Friend Eats Friendship".

Oh, yes, and she sounds fickle. Stop wasting your time talking about her and thinking about her. Plenty of excellent people out there worthy of our time! \o/

Primrose

Do you think there is an outside chance, because you never showed any romantic feelings towards her, and she did perhaps secretly like you, that she came to the conclusion that you might not be heterosexual, and is now feeling embarrassed and humiliated by misreading the situation?
Unless she shows any signs of a volte face, I'd steer well clear and just be polite in the the normal office relationship way. To try for any kind of reconciliation or meeting to try and clear up misunderstandings could result in her making a claim of harrassment which could seriously damage your career. The fact that she is not mature enough to handle the situation and sort it out in an adult way ought to be ringing alarm bells for you from a work and professional point of view, quite apart from a personal relationship aspect.

HeavyMetalFan

I am certain she knows I'm heterosexual as she knows of someone I was keen who she didn't like.

I think what's clear is that although no one can offer a definite explanation it appears that sadly this friendship is over. Harsh but true.

HeavyMetalFan

Thanks to everyone who has offered their insight and/or advice.