Female Friend Ends Friendship

tiger_eyes

I'm glad we've all solved this mystery. It is indeed a sinister conspiracy on the part of a desperate singleton to invent a fictitious boyfriend to stage a fake confrontation to force a man to ask her out on a date. Case closed!

Alternatively, maybe she just thinks you're getting weird on her now she has a boyfriend. You know, like she said.

Morglin

She's got a bloke - two is company, three is a crowd.

Find other mates.

Lin

ska_lover

All this talk about this woman ''secretly'' fancying you is way off the mark. She doesn't and never did. Or she would have let you know way before now.

You were in the 'friend zone' - you weren't ever going to be her boyfriend

Your problem lies because YOU want more. She doesn't.

You aren't happy for her happiness having met someone else. Your friendship with her was conditional on the unsaid agreement that she would be single and never meet anyone.

You got what you deserved - real friends are happy for each other when something good happens

You clearly weren't a real friend, and she saw through you

Person_one

19lottie82 wrote: »

In all honesty, as a female, I think she sounds like a bit of a head banger. Best well left alone OP!

As a female! :rotfl:

OP was inviting her back to his for intimate late night chats and home cooked meals, yes she should have made move if she wanted to but its surprising how many younger women still think that's the man's 'role' and will wait and wait so as not to appear easy etc.

I bet she's feeling a bit rejected, a bit embarrassed and unsure how to act around you now, especially if you're acting a bit odd too and seeming annoyed that she has a boyfriend. The things you did together sound like dates, for future friendships with women I would recommend avoiding intimate dinners and go for safer options in daylight!

bluenoseam

I'm about as oblivious to "subtle hints" from women as it gets, but lets be fair here, she was essentially laying it on a silver plate for you that she was interested. Might just be me, but none of my close female friends would ever discuss missing being in a sexual relationship with me without it meaning something more. Coming round for dinner, sharing drinks, constant communication, sounds like she was interested in you all along & eventually got the feeling you just weren't that into her.

Hate to say it but I think you've basically missed out on one there, but on the bright side, if this is how she's reacted, it sounds like your bunnys will be safe for the time being!

fivetide

ska_lover wrote: »

All this talk about this woman ''secretly'' fancying you is way off the mark. She doesn't and never did. Or she would have let you know way before now.

You were in the 'friend zone' - you weren't ever going to be her boyfriend

Your problem lies because YOU want more. She doesn't.

You aren't happy for her happiness having met someone else. Your friendship with her was conditional on the unsaid agreement that she would be single and never meet anyone.

You got what you deserved - real friends are happy for each other when something good happens

You clearly weren't a real friend, and she saw through you

Lot of judgement in that about the way the OP has behaved. I see no evidence for it.

I certainly don't see any evidence for such nastiness at the end either.

rainbowfairydust

bluenoseam wrote: »

I'm about as oblivious to "subtle hints" from women as it gets, but lets be fair here, she was essentially laying it on a silver plate for you that she was interested. Might just be me, but none of my close female friends would ever discuss missing being in a sexual relationship with me without it meaning something more. Coming round for dinner, sharing drinks, constant communication, sounds like she was interested in you all along & eventually got the feeling you just weren't that into her.

its not just you - i also wouldnt discuss sexual feelings in an intimate setting unless i liked said bloke (and i would have to be in a relationship actually) ..

I do joke about sex with male friends/colleagues but it harmless and nothing i say is ever about my own preferences. I also beleive my friends to be the same.

System

We work together and progressed from colleagues to workmates to friends to good friends. Or so I thought. We started doing things together outside of work and she often came round to my house so I would cook for her and we'd have a few drinks and chat until the small hours.

you did everything that couples do but didn't kiss her. I know she could have kissed you but she obviously wanted more input from you.

For whatever reason, she's now given up. She sounds pretty angry too that nothing came of it.

Ps I wouldn't dream of talking to another man of a sexual nature unless I was attracted and trusted him with my thoughts/experiences.

Personally, I think you missed the boat.... but there you go.

ska_lover

fivetide wrote: »

Lot of judgement in that about the way the OP has behaved. I see no evidence for it.

I certainly don't see any evidence for such nastiness at the end either.

True friends support and welcome each others happinesses and success, not try and make them feel bad about them or attempt to create tension because there are petty jealousies lurking.

I would have dropped him like a brick, too...

marisco_2

ska_lover wrote: »

True friends support and welcome each others happinesses and success, not try and make them feel bad about them or attempt to create tension because there are petty jealousies lurking.

I would have dropped him like a brick, too...

I have read and re-read the posts by the OP. I cant see anything written that suggests he has done any of the above.

Why would you have dropped him like a brick?

Throughout his posts it comes across clearly that the OPs main interest and concern, is in understanding where his friend is coming from and wanting to resolve any issues between them, so as to get things back on track.

To be able to be so fickle and willing to walk away from someone, as if their connection to you meant little to nothing, is to behave in a very cold way. Not the way true friends would treat each other at all to my mind.