Female Friend Ends Friendship

HeavyMetalFan

Mojisola wrote: »

Would she have known that?

Yes because I told her this but she wouldn't accept it.

marisco_2

HeavyMetalFan wrote: »

She then said we're not friends and don't contact me ever again. I explained that I think she had misinterpreted my behaviour (I had been a bit down about missing out on a promotion) but she wouldn't have it and just repeated the bit about not contacting her.

I cant fathom how anyone can treat a friend so badly. My friends mean the world to me. No way would a misunderstanding ever come between us. If you value your connection to someone then you communicate, listen, work round things, compromise and want to have each others backs through rough times.

You don't get stroppy, irrational, emotional and refuse to talk to or see them. Anyone with even a smidgen of common sense also wouldn't let any new relationship with someone interfere with their friendships. New people to your life in whatever capacity should accept you for who you are and not try to restrict who you can and cant know.

JIL

Please can you clear something up.
Do you know if this boyfriend is real and he is not made up or a figment of her imagination?

TrickyWicky

HeavyMetalFan wrote: »

Yes because I told her this but she wouldn't accept it.

But from her POV she only knew of herself getting the silent treatment. I'll bet she never saw other people also getting it.

You have to face facts, she was cosying up to you at your place, having intimate discussions and basically dating you - without you making a move on her.

Talk about rejection! Christ.. I've had some gut wrenching rejections in my time but thats one way to crucify a girls feelings. I'm no genius with women but I'd say it's a forgone conclusion that she thought you liked her.

Sorry but you've really kinda screwed that up.

System

I cant fathom how anyone can treat a friend so badly. My friends mean the world to me. No way would a misunderstanding ever come between us. If you value your connection to someone then you communicate, listen, work round things, compromise and want to have each others backs through rough times.

Some people are better at communicating than others.

onomatopoeia99

TrickyWicky wrote: »

You have to face facts, she was cosying up to you at your place, having intimate discussions and basically dating you - without you making a move on her.

And yet ... I've been in a similar situation to the OP - had a very good female friend at my place for dinner and much wine on a number of occasions, discussing intimate things and she definitely didn't want to date me.

Most occasions, she was already in a long term relationship, on another occasion she was telling me about some chap that she wanted to start a new relationship with (not me!)

It is not accurate to suggest that if a woman is prepared to talk about this stuff with a man then she must want a relationship with him. Perhaps in some cases, but definitely not all.

Gavin83

HeavyMetalFan wrote: »

There have been some good responses in this thread but this is the best one.

Your choice. I strongly recommend you take my advice though.

She's asked you to leave her alone. If you continue to contact her she could easily put a complaint of harassment into HR or senior management. Like it or not as an older man 'harassing' a young attractive woman the odds aren't likely to be in your favour. You'll lose your job and have to explain to future employers why you were sacked for harassment. Good luck with that.

She sounds unhinged anyway, regardless of the reason. Consider it a lucky break.

Morglin

Surely, this is just a case that people are just reading things differently, and there's no real need for any 'ganging up', as MSE is known for, around the net?

We're all adults, this is a public forum, no one will end up dead or injured from a faceless individual's thoughts, and no need for insults really.

I saw it as a girl wanting shot of a male friend that might hack off her new bloke, others saw it as something different.

Doesn't really matter, does it?

If posters choose to post a problem publicly they will get a range of opinions, usually.

Lin

thistledome

This thread showed so much promise at the start. Very disappointing to end up with no OP and some dafties having a private argument.

Before I give up on this story I'd like to know if anyone has actually seen or heard this mystery boyfriend IRL?

If he's real then OP needs to steer clear of this young lady lest he be accused of jealousy and harrassment.

If he's a figment of her fevered imagination then OP has seriously wounded this gal's ego and is feeling the full wrath of a woman scorned. In which case he also needs to steer clear....:eek:

HeavyMetalFan

Just as a general response I do believe the boyfriend is real although I don't know a single thing about him, other than the things she has mentioned they have done together.

I've come to the conclusion that it is not worth saying anything and just leaving the situation as it is. I doubt it would achieve anything.

I still don't really understand the behaviour though. If she didn't want to be friends any longer there were more considerate ways of doing so that we could at least be cordial as work colleagues. I don't think anything I have done has justified her behaviour but that's life unfortunately. I'll just to have to chalk it down as a bad experience.