Female Friend Ends Friendship

Georgiegirl256

HeavyMetalFan wrote: »

While I can't say I was overjoyed at the news


It came to a head last week when she completely blanked me as we walked through the door together. I e-mailed her and asked what's up with you? To which she responded "you". She then went on to accuse me of being jealous of her boyfriend and I am always funny and moody when she mentions him and so on.?

Judging by your first sentence, she could have a point?

I'm seeing things differently to everyone else. To me, she's seeing you as her best friend nothing else, but when ever she mentions her new chap, you clam up and she takes that as your not interested in her or her life.

I think she's interested in you as a really good friend but nothing more. You think you're not acting differently whenever the new guy is mentioned, but you probably are.

JIL

I also agree with the previous poster. I think she saw you as a best friend that's turned a bit funny with her now she has a new boyfriend. Also if she has discussed you with the new boyfriend he may not be keen on the friendship and could be adding some of his views to the equation.

HPoirot

Artless references to a boyfriend and immediately pulling you up on a reaction or a lack of reaction? She's frustrated that you haven't made a move on her and is now taking it out on you.

Bit of a dramatic showdown though, she could have handled it better. I suspect that anything you say or do now will be your fault. So if you have only ever been interested in her as a friend, I would leave well alone as from now to avoid any further aggro.

Tigsteroonie

I'd just leave her alone. If she wants to be friends with you, she'll slowly come crawling back; and if she doesn't (if the new fella is genuine and is her world) then she'll be too busy with him for friends anyway.

Emkayoli

I'd just leave her to it. If you start writing letters and sending flowers when she's already behaving like this will surely lead to trouble.

She's shown herself to be incapable of dealing with this like an adult when you've given her a perfectly reasonable explanation for your behaviour.

Life is too short/ You are too old (as you said) to be playing silly mind games.

Orlando_Virgin

Wow I read this completely differently to everybody else. I get the impression that she was using you as sort of a boyfriend figure, to unload on, emotionally and to satisfy that urge she has, kind of like a filler, I know that's very cynical and I could be totally wrong.

She's now met someone and doesn't need to use you for that anymore. That as well as the fact that the boyfriend has probably told her it's inappropriate to be having conversations of that nature with another bloke. I know a lot of mates I have aren't particularly keen on their GF's having male friends.

bagpussbear

Agree with others here that she did want to be more than friends, but you didn't make any move on her, and she is frustrated/embarrassed.

Now she has a boyfriend (presuming it's not made up to get a reaction out of you) she was hoping you might appear jealous or make a move on her. You didn't, and she is having a bit of a strop.

Depends on how you feel about her OP. If you think you'd like to be in a relationship with her, then perhaps send her some flowers and offer to take her out for a drink and go from there.

If you aren't interested, then leave it be.

Solsol

Um do we live in a Jane Austen novel?!

I'm pretty sure that if she liked you she would have made a move on you and not sat around waiting for you to make a big declaration with flowers etc! Especially since you've had conversations of a sexual nature with her I take it neither of you are shy so if something was going to happen it would have happened when you were both single and probably drunk!

Sorry but this made me laugh a little I agree with the above post I think she was using you until she found herself a boyfriend and is maybe now trying to cool your friendship off in case it jeopardises her new relationship.

Don't waste any more time on her she might come crawling back if her relationship ends and she misses the attention you were giving her but I hope you tell her where to go!

19lottie82

In all honesty, as a female, I think she sounds like a bit of a head banger. Best well left alone OP!

Gavin83

I'm also of the opinion that she's found the relationship and therefore doesn't feel comfortable (ie: her boyfriend doesn't feel comfortable) having male friends.

Stay well away. Seeing as you work with her, making a massive issue out of it could lead to her putting in a complaint to HR or senior management for harassment. Not only could you be without a friend but you could be without a job as well.

This could seriously ruin your life. Just back off. I can't stress this enough.