Daughter acting up.

janninew

I thought this thread was going to be about toddlers! Got it all to come, my toddler girl is really pushing my buttons today and after reading this and knowing I could have another 15 years of bad behaviour - can I send her back?! :rotfl:

anmarj

janninew wrote: »

I thought this thread was going to be about toddlers! Got it all to come, my toddler girl is really pushing my buttons today and after reading this and knowing I could have another 15 years of bad behaviour - can I send her back?! :rotfl:

Only if I can send mine back too;) although we are training ours, he loves emptying the machine and hanging stuff up on the line, not sure it will last though!

Poppy9

anmarj wrote: »

although we are training ours, he loves emptying the machine and hanging stuff up on the line, not sure it will last though!

Sadly the novelty wears off like the cake making thing! One day it's "can we make cakes" and then gradually it goes from wandering off mid mixing to "call me when you've put ingredients in bowl" to just "call me when the cakes WE've made need decorating":rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Hurts

Well she came in,first of all full of tears and apologies and 'I didn't mean it the way it sounded' and then because i dared to say that i am sure she didn't intend to cause so much upset but she really needs to think before she says things in future she had a complete attitude again.

I know she is not at the easiest stage in her life,i know she is at a difficult age and the transition is hard and i am trying to be as understanding as possible without allowing her to think she can merely throw a fit at us every time she feels that life is unfair.

She has flounced off to bed now declaring that no one cares about her,i told her that is not true and let her go.

I think this is going to take more than one conversation,clearly she hasn't calmed down properly yet and still thinks we are all somehow against her so maybe some sleep will help and we can talk more in the coming days.

Thank you all for the help and advice,i have taken it all on board and very much appreciate it.

VickyV

Oh dear, OP. I remember being that girl, always seeing the treats my brothers got and forgetting everything else! I was probably 14 or 15. I moved out at 17 and grew up quickly!

I now have a 13 year old who I fully expect to push me to the limit of my patience in a couple of years - although she's very grounded, mature and responsible so fingers crossed! :rotfl:

I think you need to sit down and discuss what you both expect. I'm a firm fan of bothering mine until she talks stuff out with me!

To be fair, it may be worth pointing out that if she's old enough to be sleeping with her BF - you know, like an adult - she ought to be old enough to behave like an adult (and mature enough to look after any product of said activity - you never know!:eek:) and not expect you to treat her like a child. To be fair to her though, if this change in relationship with you has been a fairly sudden thing, I can see how she'd feel hard done by.

Hope it goes well when you talk it out. Just remember that when we're hurting or upset we always take it out on those we love and trust most - and kids can be hurtful; mine had me in tears regularly with some of the horrible things she'd say. At 5. All because of her having a crappy time with her step mum.

Chin up. x

maman

Hurts wrote: »

Well she came in,first of all full of tears and apologies and 'I didn't mean it the way it sounded' and then because i dared to say that i am sure she didn't intend to cause so much upset but she really needs to think before she says things in future she had a complete attitude again.

I know she is not at the easiest stage in her life,i know she is at a difficult age and the transition is hard and i am trying to be as understanding as possible without allowing her to think she can merely throw a fit at us every time she feels that life is unfair.

She has flounced off to bed now declaring that no one cares about her,i told her that is not true and let her go.

I think this is going to take more than one conversation,clearly she hasn't calmed down properly yet and still thinks we are all somehow against her so maybe some sleep will help and we can talk more in the coming days.

Thank you all for the help and advice,i have taken it all on board and very much appreciate it.

I think it's possible that she's gone to her BF's home and told them 'poor me' and they haven't agreed with her.


It's a very confusing time for her: she's working quite long hours for term time on top of college work, has BF which can be emotionally draining, teachers have probably told her next year will be tough, time at home is limited if she's off to university in a year. She's probably half wishing she could be still young and cossetted.

Mojisola

Poppy9 wrote: »

but I don't see what's responsible about allowing her to turn a room in my house into a pigsty. Technically she's moved out as she lives away at uni. and can face whatever consequences her flatmates/landlord put on her but in my house I expect her to show some respect and keep it moderately decent.

And I would have had that conversation the following day, just as I would if a friend had been staying and wasn't creating mess.

Telling her to "Clean up the room before you go to sleep tonight" is a parent/child confrontation.

Poppy9

Mojisola wrote: »

And I would have had that conversation the following day, just as I would if a friend had been staying and wasn't creating mess.

Telling her to "Clean up the room before you go to sleep tonight" is a parent/child confrontation.

But I am the parent and she's living in my house not a hotel.

Besides the following day I was up for work at 7 am and she wouldn't be so I would have come home from work that evening to the same mess as she wouldn't have cleaned as she'd ignored my requests for a few days.

Mojisola

Poppy9 wrote: »

But I am the parent and she's living in my house not a hotel.

But if you, as the parent, can't shift out of the role, how can you expect her to behave like an adult rather than a child?

Mojisola

Hurts wrote: »

Well she came in,first of all full of tears and apologies and 'I didn't mean it the way it sounded' and then because i dared to say that i am sure she didn't intend to cause so much upset but she really needs to think before she says things in future she had a complete attitude again.

I know she is not at the easiest stage in her life,i know she is at a difficult age and the transition is hard and i am trying to be as understanding as possible without allowing her to think she can merely throw a fit at us every time she feels that life is unfair.

She has flounced off to bed now declaring that no one cares about her,i told her that is not true and let her go.

I think this is going to take more than one conversation,clearly she hasn't calmed down properly yet and still thinks we are all somehow against her so maybe some sleep will help and we can talk more in the coming days.

Would humour work with her? If she starts on about how badly she's treated and you joined in, getting more and more ridiculous with every comment (think of the Monty Python sketch "Gutter! We could only dream about living in a gutter!), would she end up laughing?