Is it normal for parents to want their kids to move out?

Legacy_user

I have overheard a conversation between parents wanting me out, they say I'm getting on (i'm 24) and they only supported my sister until she was the same age (they don't even support me though), if I wasn't here, the room would just be un used. I do all my own washing and cooking.


Tbh, they were quite !!!!!y about it, is this normal? Do any parents have the approach that they like their children staying with them?

PasturesNew

You're stopping them having naked, rampant sex when/where they want in the house..... and 1001 other things people like to do in their own homes without first having to consider other people.

It is normal for parents to expect it, but it's also a bit tough t1tty on them if you can't

Mojisola

berbastrike wrote: »

I have overheard a conversation between parents wanting me out, they say I'm getting on (i'm 24) and they only supported my sister until she was the same age (they don't even support me though), if I wasn't here, the room would just be un used. I do all my own washing and cooking.

Tbh, they were quite !!!!!y about it, is this normal? Do any parents have the approach that they like their children staying with them?

Some families are happy to live in multi-generational households but other couples look forward to the day when their house is theirs again.

Your parents have had "children" around for over 25 years. Maybe they would now like a bit of privacy, eg, a bit a nooky other than in the bedroom!

comeandgo

My children left at seventeen to go university and never returned. It was great. They come and stay for a few days on occasions but it's nice to have the house back when they leave.
Why do you want to stay with your parents? Don't you want to move out?

Annisele

When you say your parents don't support you...are you paying a market rent for your room, plus your share of the bills? If not, then they are supporting you. If you are, then you're still stopping them from doing whatever they want wherever they want (although I'll leave the specifics on that to PasturesNew...)

I think it is normal for parents to hope their children will move on fairly early in adulthood. In some cultures that's not the case, but in the UK I think generally it is. There will always be exceptions though, and you and your parents need to do what's right for all of you.

Have you spoken to your parents about this? They might be resenting your presence, but they might also be worried that you don't seem as independent as they'd hoped you'd be.

Spirit_2

It is normal evolution.

My daughter is 26. I love her to pieces. MOst of the time we get on well. I also want her to move out.

She pays a fair amount of housekeeping, does her own laundry etc I just want her to fledge and for she and us to have less intertwined detail in our lives and more privacy.

System

Annisele wrote: »

When you say your parents don't support you...are you paying a market rent for your room, plus your share of the bills? If not, then they are supporting you. If you are, then you're still stopping them from doing whatever they want wherever they want (although I'll leave the specifics on that to PasturesNew...)

I think it is normal for parents to hope their children will move on fairly early in adulthood. In some cultures that's not the case, but in the UK I think generally it is. There will always be exceptions though, and you and your parents need to do what's right for all of you.

Have you spoken to your parents about this? They might be resenting your presence, but they might also be worried that you don't seem as independent as they'd hoped you'd be.

But if I wasn't here, the room would be empty.

I pay £30 a month to cover my share of broadband, gas and elec

jm2926

berbastrike wrote: »

But if I wasn't here, the room would be empty.

I pay £30 a month to cover my share of broadband, gas and elec

When my step daughter moved out the elec/gas went from £120 a month to £60. Love her to bits we spend lots of time together, but it's a lot easier not sharing the same space. Strangely enough she doesn't turn the heating up as high in her new place, keeps it tidy and turns lights off/ won't use the tumble drier.

tori.k

It's completely natural, this is your time to cut the apron strings and make your mark on the world. It's harder for your generation then it was for ours with everything being so expensive, although I very doubt £30 a month barely scratches the real cost of the utility's you use each month.
As parents we want to see our children fully independent and living their own lives, we know then no matter what happens to us they will be ok, it's kind of our marker for our own success. you will be in the same position on day with your own off-spring. Is there any reason other than financial that you wish to remain in the family home. Talk to them honestly about how you feel your all adults.

ellay864

My son and his gf have moved back in for a couple of months until they go back to uni...doing my freakin' head in!!!

Peter333

FWIW I think it's probably time to think about moving on, as they seem so peed off that you're there.

But I feel sorry for you having to hear this. Why are they so desperate to have you gone? Have you confronted them?

How much do you pay altogether a month? Not just the £30 is it? Because that's an insult.

It never bothered me when our kids were at home. But then they left in their early 20s. (Youngest is at uni, but still lives at home sometimes.) Is it a tiny place? Why do they have an issue with you being there?

Must admit, love having the youngest back, but will be glad when she has gone back to uni, as she is driving us nuts half the time with her mood swings LOL.