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Wedding present- how much?

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  • Lily-Rose_3
    Lily-Rose_3 Posts: 2,732 Forumite
    millysg1 wrote: »
    Weddings do add up very quickly. I have been to 5 weddings a year for the last 5 years - 25 weddings (incl evening only on a couple of those). This usually equates to 2 Hen parties a year also.

    Hen parties are also costing more and more with an average of £100 each. Then you get the nerve of the bridesmaid usually asking everyone to bring a token Hen party gift as well nowadays (I hate that)

    Then there's the wedding travel, taxi or accommodation and then a present on top. Per year it is VERY expensive. Hence being stricter with presents than I would like to.

    25 weddings in 5 years?! :eek: You must know a HELL of a lot of people. I would find that such a drag.

    I haven't been to a family wedding since 2004/2005, and only 4 others in that time. That was enough frankly.
    Proud to have lost over 3 stone (45 pounds,) in the past year! :j Now a size 14!


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  • 74jax
    74jax Posts: 7,930 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Everyone on the weddings board said the same as what is being posted on here.

    If you want to give £200 then give it, there's no need to keep going until you find someone who agrees to give £200.
    Forty and fabulous, well that's what my cards say....
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 35,914 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Savvy Shopper!
    Person_one wrote: »
    You give as much or as little as you want, can afford and feel comfortable with. Whether that's £10 or £1000 its completely up to you.

    Its a gift, not a bill. ;)

    ^^^^^ This

    If/when my niece gets married, I'd probably offer to pay for her dress (within reason ;)) but we are a very small family and I'm very close to my sister and my niece.

    It's a question like 'how long is a piece of string?'

    It all depends on your own circumstances, finances, closeness to the people getting married.

    I personally wouldn't care what anybody else gives to somebody else - 'cos they're not me and my family/friends.
  • maman
    maman Posts: 29,973 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    [QUOTE=Pollycat;66087870
    It's a question like 'how long is a piece of string?'

    It all depends on your own circumstances
    , finances, closeness to the people getting married.

    I personally wouldn't care what anybody else gives to somebody else - 'cos they're not me and my family/friends.[/QUOTE]


    Totally agree.


    IMO the £200 for a friend was a bit OTT but we've given £200 to the last few nephews and nieces who got married. The way I look at it is that we can afford it and, at our time of life, are in a far better financial position than the young people.


    As for people spending a fortune on outfits, accommodation etc: just like the gift it's personal choice. It's an invitation not a summons!
  • I would be over the moon if one of my aunties/uncles gave me £200 and a present for my wedding! That is incredibly generous of you.


    As everyone else has said, the short answer to this is: as much as you want to give and can afford. If that's £20 or £200, fine - as long as you don't feel like you 'have to' give that amount, but are giving it because it's what you feel comfortable with. But I'm sure the vast majority of couples would be grateful for whatever people chose to give them.


    For me personally, I would give £50 (or equivalent gift value if they have a gift list) to an immediate family member and £20-30 to a cousin or close friend. But then I'm not in a particularly high-paying job and that's quite a lot for me - your mileage may vary.


    Also if you haven't already check if they have a gift list. It might be that they don't actually want money (although I'm sure it wouldn't go unappreciated) but would prefer vouchers or actual gifts instead, and I always think it's best to give the couple what they would actually like...
    "A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister
    Married my best friend 1st November 2014
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  • Brighton_belle
    Brighton_belle Posts: 5,223 Forumite
    Bean83 wrote: »
    Wedding etiquette garbage?! Someone has been kind enough to invite you to their wedding and you would turn up empty handed? That's just rude if you ask me. I wouldn't turn up to any sort of party without a gift. It doesn't matter how much the gift cost, but it's only polite to take something to thank your hosts.
    Yup, I've turned up at several wedding empty handed without a qualm. At the time I had a very low income, and it cost every spare penny I had to get to the wedding. Fortunately I have lovely friends who genuinely did only want me there.


    When I got married, we didn't issue a gift list and I ensured those invited I knew to be struggling financial knew they absolutely were not to buy us any presents - we were the lucky ones getting married, we didn't need anything else.
    We didn't see ourselves as host of a 'do' to get gifts from. We wanted the people we loved most to witness the happiness we felt in saying our vows to each other and becoming man and wife. The privilege and thanks were all ours that they came.
    I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once
  • I understand your dilemma! I went to a best friend's wedding earlier this month and deliberated over the amount (I hate it when there's no list but the couple ask for cash gifts), I did £50 and a bottle of veuve from me and my boyfriend (who had never met the couple), was glad we added the champagne as the other two friends in the group both gave £100. It's a minefield!
  • The presents we received ranged from £30 - £1000, and we've got 2 wedding in August this year.. so we too are wondering what to give. We normally give £100 - £200 depending on closeness of family.

    It'll probably end up at £130 per wedding, as they are cousins. Next year it's my brothers, so I'd probably give £200

    But.. it's horses for courses, and it's 'culturally sensitive'. I can see how a £100 gift can seem completely over the top for a 'regular British wedding', whilst it may look as a bit cheap at a Chinese or Greek wedding.
  • Wedding gifts seem to be much higher over here... I am from Northern Ireland.. I would give 50stg for an evening do. £100 for work colleague and £200 for family and close friends.

    I am in a couple now... But that's what I have gave in the past for gifts as a single person.
  • Bean83
    Bean83 Posts: 248 Forumite
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Posts Combo Breaker
    Yup, I've turned up at several wedding empty handed without a qualm. At the time I had a very low income, and it cost every spare penny I had to get to the wedding. Fortunately I have lovely friends who genuinely did only want me there.


    When I got married, we didn't issue a gift list and I ensured those invited I knew to be struggling financial knew they absolutely were not to buy us any presents - we were the lucky ones getting married, we didn't need anything else.
    We didn't see ourselves as host of a 'do' to get gifts from. We wanted the people we loved most to witness the happiness we felt in saying our vows to each other and becoming man and wife. The privilege and thanks were all ours that they came.


    I still don't quite agree with your viewpoint (although I would never 'expect' a gift from friends, especially if I knew they were short on cash), but I have to commend you for such an elegant response!
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