Advice please - relationship & friends.

tea_lover

ska_lover wrote: »

Your Oh sounds like he has never given you a reason to doubt him before, so take him at his word, he isn't going - and try not to mention it again.. men hate to feel nagged at (so im told haha)

Definitely. She sounds like a stroppy attention seeker so don't give her what she wants. Any sort of meeting/confrontation etc. is playing right into her hands. Forget about her, and enjoy your relationship

DJS1988

Thanks 'lovers

If anything, posting here has helped with my "is this just me, am I mad" thoughts. Clearly I'm not!

I definitely need to give my OH a bit of a break, he's caught in the crossfire. I guess I must rise above it, and be adult IF we do have this sit-down, but in the long run, nasty people do tend to get caught out.

Raspberry_beret

DJS1988 wrote: »

However, if I heed advice to rise above it, I do think they will show themselves up at some point where his loyalty has no other option but to waiver.

I agree with what you said above totally.

I also agree it isn't on for her to text your partner and undermine you but I think your only choice is to sit pretty and encourage him to make his own choices (while keeping him aware of your feelings). That will annoy her more than anything, having her pulling out all the stops and not winding you up. As someone else said, give her enough rope to hang herself.

Good luck!

lushplus4

I'm not sure if this has been said before but I think the GF fancies your boyfriend and the reason she dislikes you is that you are taking his attention away from her.
The wanting to see him alone after work and isolating you, splitting up his previous relationships etc. Am I wrong in thinking this?

DJS1988

lushplus4 wrote: »

I'm not sure if this has been said before but I think the GF fancies your boyfriend and the reason she dislikes you is that you are taking his attention away from her.
The wanting to see him alone after work and isolating you, splitting up his previous relationships etc. Am I wrong in thinking this?

I'm not 100% you are wrong, but I don't want to be that girl that says such a thing (we've all known girls who think any girl near their partners wants him!) and I know my boyfriend would find it laughable.

Even if she did - I know he wouldn't go there, and trust him so it's kind of a moot point.

If I bought up that I thought it might be the case, it's only going to make me look childish and paranoid I think. My partner wouldn't think it was true, hers would think I am an idiot as he wouldn't see if possible his GF could have a thing for his best friend - and she of course would deny it.

Morglin

DJS1988 wrote: »

The male text my partner and said "I'm inviting people for **** bday and she's said she doesn't want DJS there, sorry I know it's tough for you but don't shoot the messenger".

So, don't go.......go out with your mates!

She doesn't like you, so give your partner the choice to go alone, and if he chooses to, then go out with your friends.....

You are dancing to her tune, if you get wound up.

Just ignore her, and carry on with your own arrangements.

It really doesn't matter!

Lin

Pennyyes

Why isn't your boyfriend backing you up and telling this woman not to say awful things about you to him. Why is he brushing this aside? Unless he secretly agrees?

Pennyyes

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

If he loved you do your really think he would let his friends treat you like this? Hes letting them treat you like a dog.
I'm sorry but you just dont seem to see it.
Good luck with it all anyway, the main problem is your man.

I agree with this.

DJS1988

Morglin wrote: »

So, don't go.......go out with your mates!

She doesn't like you, so give your partner the choice to go alone, and if he chooses to, then go out with your friends.....

You are dancing to her tune, if you get wound up.

Just ignore her, and carry on with your own arrangements.

It really doesn't matter!

Lin

I am, as I have said numerous times here. I will however have a serious issue if my partner goes, when he has told me he has not and will not go along with their excluding of me. Going would mean he supports their behaviour, and give them the green light to continue.

DJS1988

Pennyyes wrote: »

Why isn't your boyfriend backing you up and telling this woman not to say awful things about you to him. Why is he brushing this aside? Unless he secretly agrees?

Perhaps read all posts. I have said he has backed me up and told them the behaviour is not acceptable. If he secretly agreed with her thoughts on me, he wouldn't be with me, simple.