Strange undies found!

uberalles

lotty41 wrote: »

Strange undies found when changing quilt cover.

JK lol, just the sort of thing you would get on there. No other evidence of another woman, then we are tog all the time eve and weekends,.

I agree strange thread....didnt expect such a reaction.

lotty41 wrote: »

FBaby well since we have been living tog, every morning without fail he has a coffe and a cig.....well he didnt the next morning.

Like it .

FBaby

I've been in that situation finding female clothing items that should have been there. I confronted right away. OH reaction was of shock and not knowing why it would be there, that the only explanation was that it was an old gilfriend (in our case, I had just moved in his place). Not a great response but... he certainly made a lot of effort to reassure me and more importantly, to tell me that he understood my reaction because if it had been the other way, he too would have been suspicious (not the usual words of someone who is guilty of what they are accused of!).

I remained on my guards afterwards and certainly more aware of his habits, looking for anything that didn't seem right. I didn't check his phone or computer, but would walk in his office without knocking to see if he quickly clicked on the page (he never did), checked if he was comfortable leaving his mobile around (he was), if he answered his phone every time it rang without leaving the room (he never did), and overall paid attention to where he said he was going and whether he tripped up (he never did). I therefore moved on and 4 years later, I am 100% certain that indeed, nothing was going on and it must have been as he said an old item of clothing that somehow found itself where I found it (not the bed!).

anotheruser

Firstly, you need to take everything here lightly.

There are some people who have made their own conclusions, which is a bit sad.

If you are thinking "has my OH cheated?" then you have already got some sort of problem with trusting him.

There is only one question you need to answer: Are they your pants or not?
If you don't know then the mystery will probably never be solved.

Search through his Facebook, phone, email and feel guilty if you find nothing. But by doing this, you may drive him far away.

OR

Trust what he says.

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

I dont think it is wrong to snoop if you feel you are being cheated on. A person needs to know the truth - and when you are dealing with a liar, you have to become one - if you ever have a hope of finding out what is going on

Why do you pick men that you don't trust?
People who feel "it's my right to snoop" clearly don't trust what their partner says.

You should have vetted them before bedding them!

Far too many people these days split up because of these sorts of issues and the fact they trust others less and less.

sedment

So, the two of you live together, no lodgers, teenagers, family members with keys or pets that could be stealing "gifts" for you. You dont use a laundrette, havent taken in other peoples washing,or done a load for a neighbour whose maching broke down. You dont recognise the knickers that have no label, that you have tried on (ew by the way).
Unless your other half has a stash of sexy knickers for fun when you are away, there has been another female in your bed.
They wouldnt have come from whatever store you bought the cover from, so assuming that the duvet gets washed at least once a week, these knickers were there fairly recently. Good luck to you, seems like you will need it.

fairy_lights

Do you always change the sheets or does your OH sometimes do it?
If he had slept with someone else in your own bed surely it would have made sense for him to change the sheets himself before you got home to wash away any evidence, as it were. If he was savvy/sneaky enough to delete his internet history surely he would also think about changing the bed too?

FBaby

If you are thinking "has my OH cheated?" then you have already got some sort of problem with trusting him.

This doesn't make sense to me. You could trust someone totally, then find something like this, and you say that you shouldn't consider for a second that your partner might be cheated because you trust him? At which point would you accept that maybe your partner might not be trustworthy? Trust is not black and white, there are shades of it. I trust my hubby more than I have ever trusted anyone, but is it 100%? No because I would never do so with anyone because unfortunately, even the most trustworthy persons can one day stop being so.

I think that anyone women finding underwear they don't think is theirs after a night they've been away would be mad not to consider the however small possibility that their partner might not be the trusting person they thought they were.

Edwardia

Why does it have to be that he's had a fling ? He could have been messing abt with panties he bought, watching !!!!!!. I bought OH silk boxers and he loved wearing them in bed bc of the feel on his skin.

Personally I would not want to live with someone who snooped in my laptop and I would never ever snoop in OH's. I don't even go in his study when he's not there.

System

In some circumstances I can understand snooping though I think in those cases the relationship is already on rocky ground. I strongly suspected my ex was cheating and I admit I snooped, and found a plethora of evidence (I even went as far as honey trapping him on one site )

It didn't help things, I couldn't confront him as he would just have turned it on me so I lived with it until it became so obvious he left me for someone else. It's not a nice way to live though

That said I've never snooped on current bf, I have had the opportunity and the means but do actually trust him.

Georgiegirl256

Surely this thread can't be real?! Such a weird thing to create a thread about.

What exactly are you wanting us to say? If you don't know who's knickers they are then how are we meant to know!

If - and it's a small if - it's true, I can't believe you wouldn't recognise your own pants, even if you hadn't wore them for months? Also, I don't believe a random pair of panties would float around a duvet cover for months on end....so if they're not yours then a, he's having an affair or b, he's a cross dresser.

ButterflyKisses

I was just thinking, as a few people have seemed to suggest someone would be unlikely to forget a pair of knickers...if I was planning an overnight stay somewhere, I would take a spare pair for the morning. I don't think I'd necessarily notice if I hadn't picked up the old pair if they weren't in sight.

Also, if your partner had bought them to wear himself or use for other purposes, why would he cut the label out? That just feels like more of a 'female' thing to do to me. Would he fit in a pair of your knickers? That might be a way of ruling that out.

Either way, I'm really sorry OP. Not a nice thing to be worrying about.