Strange undies found!

Morglin

Alikay wrote: »

After coming back from a night away to find another woman's pants in my our bed along with out-of-character behaviour and a history of lying and cheating? Too right I'd be checking up......

Luckily in 27 years of marriage (and a lot of time working away) I've never felt the need to check up on my DH, because no knicker-related, or similar occurrences have jangled my instincts, but should it happen, I would definitely investigate .

We,, my ex was a taxi driver (nights) so plenty of opportunity, and my DH is my world, but I have never, ever felt any urge to check anything at all lol

If I got to the point of needing to check up, by snooping, I would call it a day anyway.

It was wrong to snoop, when a bloke said on here he had been, (and got slated for it!) and it's just as wrong for a woman.

Lin

themull1

Did you check the sheets for any marks before they were washed or the bins for any condoms? Thats what i would have done.!!!

hazyjo

I'm sure I wouldn't have slated him if he had good reason to snoop (like if he found a pair of boxers in the bed!).

Jx

Snakey

So you went downstairs, waved a pair of knickers in his face and said "so whose are these, then, that I just found in OUR BED?" and you couldn't tell anything at all - either way - from his immediate reaction?

I have never been in a cohabiting relationship in which the above conversation would not have been the most massive big deal imaginable. And yet it seems that here it's all blown over already. He denied everything and life carried on as normal.

Does this sort of drama happen a lot in your house? If not, I'm surprised that it was so unimportant to him. Isn't he bothered that you think he's cheating on you?

Not sure what I would have done. Probably left them on top of the bed and see what he said.

hazyjo

Snakey wrote: »

So you went downstairs, waved a pair of knickers in his face and said "so whose are these, then, that I just found in OUR BED?" and you couldn't tell anything at all - either way - from his immediate reaction?

My 1st hubby had a text on his phone from a number that had no name against it saying 'Miss you already x'. That's how it started for me.

And no, I had not been in the least bit suspicious and had not been snooping. He'd been very off with me and I suddenly thought maybe he was peed off I'd taken no interest in his new mobile phone he tried to show me a couple of weeks before, so told him I'd have a look - honestly, I was grasping at straws as to why he was so peed off with me. This was back in 2000 when I don't think I'd ever sent a text in me life and had only just got a mobile phone and had certainly never even texted my husband. I was just seeing what the phone could do and stumbled on it. I was in the loo at the time! I asked him what the message was and he took the phone and managed to delete it. He was so non-techy and I didn't think he even knew how to use texts and he said he hadn't meant to delete it - but that meant the number and message and everything was gone.

I tried very hard to carry on as normal and ignored so many signs as there always seemed to be an explanation. And Snakey, yes, it is very easy to miss a reaction cos you don't really quite believe what your eyes are telling you.

I remember saying to him later (after we'd split) that I wished I'd just walked up to him and put my hand on his heart that first day over the text. He almost laughed and said OMG I'm glad you didn't as it was pounding like mad - I went ballistic. Not amusing, and at that stage I was still beating myself up about it.

Jx

Confusedandneedhelp

hazyjo wrote: »

My 1st hubby had a text on his phone from a number that had no name against it saying 'Miss you already x'. That's how it started for me.

And no, I had not been in the least bit suspicious and had not been snooping. He'd been very off with me and I suddenly thought maybe he was peed off I'd taken no interest in his new mobile phone he tried to show me a couple of weeks before, so told him I'd have a look - honestly, I was grasping at straws as to why he was so peed off with me. This was back in 2000 when I don't think I'd ever sent a text in me life and had only just got a mobile phone and had certainly never even texted my husband. I was just seeing what the phone could do and stumbled on it. I was in the loo at the time! I asked him what the message was and he took the phone and managed to delete it. He was so non-techy and I didn't think he even knew how to use texts and he said he hadn't meant to delete it - but that meant the number and message and everything was gone.

I tried very hard to carry on as normal and ignored so many signs as there always seemed to be an explanation. And Snakey, yes, it is very easy to miss a reaction cos you don't really quite believe what your eyes are telling you.

I remember saying to him later (after we'd split) that I wished I'd just walked up to him and put my hand on his heart that first day over the text. He almost laughed and said OMG I'm glad you didn't as it was pounding like mad - I went ballistic. Not amusing, and at that stage I was still beating myself up about it.

Jx

What an idiot, it had no name attached, shouldve just said, i have no idea who it is... amateur!

on a serious note, ye fair enough, thats pretty solid evidence

hazyjo

yeah he did - that's what I mean. Told me it must've been a wrong number...

Took him three months to leave me.

Jx

aggypanthus

Could this be a case for underCRACKER?
or Cagney and Lacy? Maybe even an undie cover cop?

pickledonionspaceraider

I dont think it is wrong to snoop if you feel you are being cheated on. A person needs to know the truth - and when you are dealing with a liar, you have to become one - if you ever have a hope of finding out what is going on

For what its worth, op I think you are kidding yourself that you don't know if those knickers belong to you..

Lioness_Twinkletoes

I feel sorry for the OP - to have that level of mistrust on a daily basis must be unbearable.