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Strange undies found!

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Comments

  • Im sure a User called 'Mose' got a right kicking the other day (granted he snooped on his ex - but recent ex, long term marriage and kids involved, so heavy attachement) for looking thru her mobile.

    This lady is being advised to search through mobile, email, the bin (?!!!).

    Perhaps not the same posters, but reaking of double standards.

    The advice is simple. Either believe him or dont.

    And get help for your trust issues
  • Alikay wrote: »
    After coming back from a night away to find another woman's pants in my our bed along with out-of-character behaviour and a history of lying and cheating? Too right I'd be checking up......

    Luckily in 27 years of marriage (and a lot of time working away) I've never felt the need to check up on my DH, because no knicker-related, or similar occurrences have jangled my instincts, but should it happen, I would definitely investigate ;).

    Out of character beaviour? He didnt have a coffee or a cigerette? - oh no!?!!

    History of cheating in a previous relationship!

    and who has never lied to their partner?! oh yes, noone.
  • caprikid1
    caprikid1 Posts: 2,491 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Just show him this thread to be honest.

    If he is seeing someone he will deny it and be more careful.

    If he is not seeing someone he will run a mile.
  • Takeaway_Addict
    Takeaway_Addict Posts: 6,538 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    stebiz wrote: »
    Sounds like a big TRUST issue going on to me. I leave my laptop, phone, mail, accounts - basically anything for all my family to see. Got nothing to hide. Hasn't even occurred to me not too.
    lack of trust from the OP definately
    Don't trust a forum for advice. Get proper paid advice. Any advice given should always be checked
  • System
    System Posts: 178,374 Community Admin
    10,000 Posts Photogenic Name Dropper
    This entire thread is nuts as there can only be 3 possible explanation for the knickers (assuming no teenage girl, or animals with a knicker fetish, who also can stuff them into a duvet cover),

    1) they are the OP's, which is the obvious one

    2) partner cross dresses, but for some reason hides them in the duvet instead of throwing them away or hiding them somewhere secure

    3) he has a bird, who for some reason, after sex doesn't do what every other woman would do - put them back on, or, put them in her handbag. They cannot have been a deliberate 'plant' or she would have hidden them somewhere more obvious, such as under the bed!

    Lin :whistle:

    It is difficult to play sleuth because the OP does not know for sure if the knickers are her own, and also is not sure whether they were just in the bed or actually inside the duvet cover. I suppose if they were in the bed, at the end of the bed, they could have been planted by someone with malicious intent, but it could all be a storm in a teacup if it turns out that the undies actually do belong to the OP.
    This is a system account and does not represent a real person. To contact the Forum Team email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com
  • caprikid1
    caprikid1 Posts: 2,491 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Why not strike fire with fire, leave a pair of boxershorts that he will know are not his around.
  • hazyjo
    hazyjo Posts: 15,475 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited 17 July 2014 at 3:52PM
    You don't need a label in them to find out where they're from. Google the design, see if you can find them. Or do a reverse google search if you can take a pic of them - would that work?! I'm no expert!

    And yes, I am cynical and would not like to be made a mug of as I've let two men do it to me in the past. My first husband for one - I brushed it all off, totally trusted him, didn't snoop - but then he left me for her. The signs were there, I was just too much of a trusting idiot and ignored them. When he left I was asking if he was having an affair - even suggested who I presumed it was with (it was) - and he denied.

    If ANYONE male or female thought their partner may have been cheating, I would be first in the queue telling them to look for the obvious signs before confronting. People act like it never happens, or may happen to one in like a thousand or something. Most people trust their partners - but you'd have to be stupid to ignore the most glaring of what might be construed as evidence. If I found a pair of knickers in my bed at any time, let alone if I'd been away for a night(!), I would check absolutely everything I could get my hands on. If someone found out and left me because of that, so be it. Yes, that is harsh and sad, but that's me.

    (Probably a lot goes back to my parents both having affairs - my dad's for a year or so and totally destroyed my mum, then my mum for over 10 years which resulted in a long messy court case costing tens of thousands. Long story...)

    Jx
    2024 wins: *must start comping again!*
  • ska_lover
    ska_lover Posts: 3,773 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Oh you poor thing Lotty. I can understand why you are upset

    I would definitely know my own knickers, even if I hadn't seen them in months. Honestly? I find it hard to understand that you might not recognise them.

    If it were me, and I didn't recognise them, then I would be saying they were definitely someone elses.

    If it were me ,in your exact position and not being really sure - I would have to know for definite - whatever it took.
    The opposite of what you know...is also true
  • Alikay
    Alikay Posts: 5,147 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    hazyjo wrote: »
    Yes, that is harsh and sad, but that's me.

    (Probably a lot goes back to my parents both having affairs - my dad's for a year or so and totally destroyed my mum, then my mum for over 10 years which resulted in a long messy court case costing tens of thousands. Long story...)

    Well I haven't got history of cheating parners or parents to cause me trust issues, but I still think strange pants in the bed after a night away is ruddy weird. I actually think it's a wind-up as I can't imagine anyone not knowing whether a pair of luridly patterned pants are theirs or not. Of course there could be a perfectly innocent explanation....has anyone considered poltergeist activity?:rotfl:
  • aileth
    aileth Posts: 2,822 Forumite
    As far as deleting browser history or what not is concerned, I wouldn't be particularly concerned TBH.

    Me and OH used to share a laptop and all of a sudden the history for the whole day would start disappearing off it, I'd go on in the morning to check emails before work, came home and there wasn't a single page of history. Turned out OH was playing with his Johnson after I went to work using the laptop because his PC was broken and he panic deleted all the browsing history, making it look 10 times more suspicious!
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