Better half of 2014 - all about me

lulabelle

Well, not so I'm afraid! Can't go to training this week due to work required before court and tonight we have to work with our expert witness so that's out

Last night I had a quick beer with my close friends (wishing hadnt as didn't sleep well) and one of the defendants and his lawyer from uk came into same bar. They said hi and I was polite back but was thinking "you smarmy b*stard" since a few weeks ago this lawyer (who I call plastic ken as he looks like ken doll) took my client aside and said I was rubbish, was out of my depth and didn't know what I was doing. I'll bloody well show him! He's not been able to hold a job down at any one firm in last few years (probs co she's a t*at so keeps upsetting people) and he's so bloody plastic looking I'm sure he's going to melt!!!! Today will at least be interesting - it's our witnesses and they get cross examined by the other side. Not tooooo much for me to do speaking wise though I do have to be on the ball listening to what they say in case there is any need to re-examine. Cannot wait until Friday when I can at least have sat and prob about half of sun off!!!

lulabelle

1 more day until can have a day off: must keep going. Have made some decisions though about how I'm going to exit out if this profession I hate

lulabelle

Day 5: today will be difficult as is our expert so lots of jargon to get head round and have to listen carefully but after today that's my speaking part over and someone else takes over - thank god. I'm exhausted and feel am getting sick. I will have tomorrow off but will still have to work Sunday to help out person speaking next week.

This is just not what I want to do for the rest of my life. Yes the money is good but really, honestly, it's not worth it. I'm not happy and I HAVE to change it before it's too late. I've another 30-35 years of working life possibly and I cannot put myself through this day in day out for that period of time

Buffythedebtslayer

Oh Lulabelle, that is EXACTLY how I felt in my old job. EXACTLY.


It is true, it pays well and I am good at it when I put my mind to it but I can't/don't/won't want to do it for ever. Even in my job this year which I have enjoyed a lot more I still remember that feeling.


I am so impressed with the work you are putting in and how on it you are. You should feel proud of yourself


Vitamin C and sleep for you my dear. Enjoy the day off and remember it will be over soon and you really won't be doing it forever


Big hugs


Buffy XXX

lulabelle

Thanks bufster.x

So, went out with friends last night as we are not in court Monday so felt could have a night out as taking today off (first day in 12!) and spent an eye watering £71.05!!!! I bought a round cos I owed for the other week and I'd also bought a round in another bar for the barrister who is helping us with our case. Then we went for dinner which was the most expensive part at £50 each. To be fair, I did have fillet steak and also desert plus we had some proessco and 2 bottles of wine plus I've not been out all week and am not out for rest of weekend so I figure it's not that bad (though am cringing at that figure written down) and I did deserve a nice supper

As a result of being knackered and drinking waaaayyy too much I'm hungover today, plus think I'm getting a cold which is annoying as want to run tomorrow morning and get back with my trainer next week (not been able to go at all this week due to prep required but my speaking part almost over and my colleague then takes over so I can go to my trainer rather than being at work at 6am!).

I've also make a decision (which am a little scared about!) - been banging on for last few years about how I wish I'd never done law but become a psychologist instead. Anyway, I've decided to do a conversion course online which takes a year and gives the graduate basis for membership of the BPS. It's £4700 fees but I will just cut back going out to pay for it. It will be hard work doing that and working full time but I don't feel it's sensible just to jack everything in because who knows if I'll even take to it so this way I can see if I enjoy it and still maintain my security whilst planning next steps

Problem is: psychology such a long slog and you need experience to get on doctorate course. I think I'd easily be able to get experience as my best friend in uk is a consultant clinical psychologist who works for NHS but also has her own private practice so no doubt she will give me some and my uncle is a doctor again with his own practice(s) and has loads of contacts. I could even get some in USA as my aunt is a professor in medical field and cousin is in med school. That would be amazing! So, my plan is to apply for that (I'm filling in the forms today) and then do course and hopefully pass then reassess where I am in life and, if necessary, take a year out getting experience (which I should be able to afford) whether in USA or UK or whatever. My best friend from home has just agreed to be a referee (feel would be good to have someone in the profession itself talk about my suitability) and my old boss from when I worked in London as a lawyer as I don't want anyone in my current work to know what I'm up to

I'll need to get a new laptop as mine is screwed but am sooooo excited!!! Just hope they let me on it now!!!

supersaver1000

Sounds great. I wish I was so sure whT I wanted to do, but these days you can have several careers especially as we have to work so long now, so you may as well do something you like.

lulabelle

So, I'm off into work again. I had wanted to go in after lunch but managing partner now emailing with vigour wanting me to find things (it's his turn at presenting next) so I have no choice. I hope they recognise how hard I am working and give me a small bonus. I suspect they won't. Not had a pay rise in 2 years despite cost of living having gone up. It doesn't make me feel like pulling out all the stops and exhausting myself like I'm doing now

On the plus side, my friend is popping in at 1pm and were booking our holiday!!!

Tonight am going to carry on reading my book (Apple tree yard) and being frugal by eating what I bought from WR yesterday

lulabelle

Work was rubbish as I wasn't really focused and didn't get much done though managed to spend all day there! Have finally booked our holiday though and so excited!!! Then met gay best mate for coffee so spent £4 as I owed him for coffee last Sunday. Other than that am being frugal and eating from stores and going to have an early night then up at 540 for training tomorrow

lulabelle

Didn't make training cat jumped on me to be let out at 3am and couldn't get back to sleep so cancelled. Once I'd cancelled of course I then fell asleep. Annoyed though as couldn't train last week and £30 down the drain. Hate the fact that work taking over my life and feel there's no recognition of how hard I'm working. 14 working days (if you don't count weekends I'm currently working) until I'm sitting on a plane sipping champers on the way to the USA for 2 weeks of (budgeted for) shopping and partying!

lulabelle

Hmmmm so slight fly in the ointment in my master (no pun intended) plan. The masters conversion takes 30 hours study per week. Can I realistically do that and work full time? If another matter kicks off like this one I'd be screwed! Another 12 hour day today. Losing more and more hair through stress. Feel like it's so thin now