is this true

seashore22

I not too sure about it being the done thing these days, but it is suggested on a certain other site, and possibly others too, if the parents in law/parents are likely to be difficult or interfering. Obviously not saying that this is the case with you OP.

My most recent experience is when my first grandchild was born a few months ago. We had frequent text message updates from the sweep through to the middle stages of the very long birth. Our son in law rang us at some point during the labour and a very emotional one after the birth. We didn't ask for this or pester them in any way, but it was lovely to have some idea about how it was going, particularly as it was taking more than 24 hours.

Having said that if, we hadn't known that she was in labour then we wouldn't have worried for hours on end. We had a conversation at some point in the pregnancy and made it clear that they could do it exactly how they liked. Tell us or not tell us - it was up to them.

I think some parents don't want a fuss and want a very private experience. Personally I think that is fair enough and friends and family need to respect that.

greeneggs_2

My Mum's preference was definitely to not know until afterwards, labour can take a long time and being at home worrying about it does no one any good.

Obviously if I'd have felt I needed to talk to her then that would have been fine, I definitely didn't want her to be in the delivery room with me even though we are close.

seashore22

Hmm, I think Sulphate and I must lurk on the same sites.

sulphate

Regarding phone calls, midwives etc may give the advice out because labour can take a long time and they don't want their phone lines busy with other family members phoning, as others have said. Yes they can call mobiles, but if a woman is in the later stages of labour she's not going to answer the phone. I can also imagine some parents getting annoyed with constant requests for updates and turning their mobiles off. Which can lead to family calling the hospitals. Phone numbers are easy to find online even if they haven't been given out.

Not that I'm suggesting you would pester your daughter, OP. Just offering another side.

fannyadams

'Traditionally' the father calls HER parents first (if mum and dad are separated then call HER mum first, then HER dad), then call HIS parents (his mum first then his dad in the case of his parents being separated).
then usually the new grandparents do the next bout of calls i.e. they call their parents to tell of new great grandchild. they will also call siblings of proud parents.
This is so that the proud parents can get on with the business of caring for their new bundle of joy.
we also had a 'babymoon', where we said no visitors to hospital or house for 4 weeks so that we could get used to our new baby and get some sleep when he was asleep... (of course all the grandparents ignored this - <roll eyes>)

ViolaLass

Your daughter may have made the thing about hospital advice up so that she could concentrate on labour/birth come the time rather than "I promised I'd let mum know."

wendz86

It is up to them when they tell people but I am sure it isn't hospital policy.

My OH was doing a running commentary on facebook when i was in labour as was easier than ringing/texting everyone although we rang the main people after before we announced it on facebook.

duchy

I rang my parents as I knew if they called the house and there was no reply they'd panic or worry -but I waited til morning . They showed up for first visiting 2 hours after my baby was born (came via Mothercare as they went and bought my pram on the way as although we'd chosen it they felt it was tempting fate to buy it before he arrived safely)

I wonder if the OP's daughter is in a maternity unit rather than a full hospital without good visitor facilities so they discourage visitors as it's pretty much in to have baby and discharged very quickly after ?

I do think it is an odd attitude though- My son was the first grandchild and my parents would have been very disappointed if I'd not even told them for 24 hours after he was born.

krustylouise

julie88 wrote: »

my daughter is due to have a baby in the next week or 2 i asked her to let me know when she goes in
she told me i will ring you the day after i have the baby we think this is her husbands idea and she is going with this he is very controling and does not like us my husband says this is a way to get at us
my daughter said this is the done thing now people dont tell parents or freinds or anyone when they go into hospital its all secret thats why she wont let me know anything
she also says staff at the hospital told her that they advised her not to let freinds and family know either
i dont know what to think

Nope - never heard of this and many of my friends have had babies recently and always been "it's started" besides in my case {I already have 1 DD} how could I not tell family/friends if I have to make arrangements for DD???

Sounds very dodge to me, sorry....

caprikid1

Its not what you would like, it may not be what she would like. Don't question it, forget about it and look forward to the announcement.

Anything else and you will start to spoil the event for yourself and her..