Nice People 12: Nice in Nice

PasturesNew

Masomnia wrote: »

.... I think I'd feel even weirder going in and knowing the person in question had had a rollocking from their manager after I'd complained; I'd be wondering if they'd known it was me etc.

That's my view too ... d4mned if you do, d4mned if you don't.

GDB2222

Masomnia wrote: »

It has occurred to me before when following (in the perfectly innocent sense of walking in the same direction!) women that I might be perceived as a threat. More than once I've noticed women look over their shoulder at me, then look again, and again.

Not a lot you can do really. In that situation I've just sort of slowed down and hoped that wouldn't be too obvious.

Around here there are lots of people out walking or running. As a walker, I find it quite disconcerting when overtaken by the runners. Suddenly, I hear heavy footsteps behind. Am I about to be mugged? Umm, no, I'm not, well not yet.

There are so many people out, going at different speeds, that there's bound to be lots of overtaking.

GDB2222

Masomnia wrote: »

It has occurred to me before when following (in the perfectly innocent sense of walking in the same direction!) women that I might be perceived as a threat. More than once I've noticed women look over their shoulder at me, then look again, and again.

Not a lot you can do really. In that situation I've just sort of slowed down and hoped that wouldn't be too obvious.

Around here there are lots of people out walking or running. As a walker, I find it quite disconcerting when overtaken by the runners. Suddenly, I hear heavy footsteps behind. Am I about to be mugged? Umm, no, I'm not, well not yet.

There are so many people out, going at different speeds, that there's bound to be lots of overtaking.

hjd

PasturesNew wrote: »

All this and


All this

As a woman we've seen/experienced this stuff all our lives - and, carried to the nth degree, it's the same savage behaviour/thinking that ultimately leads to the concept of "honour killings".

We're there for their merriment, an object, to be disrespected by whichever method the belly-crawling and nauseatingly gross man chooses at that moment - as an action of power.

We see it, we experience it, in many ways, most days - spoken to differently, treated differently.... little things that we know/recognise that can't easily be written/explained. But they exist - and sometimes one will make you feel rotten - and sometimes it's several in a row .... and it's not good.

It's real, it exists - and it happens to 99% of women, regularly enough for us to all agree.

Maybe I'm odd, but this is not my experience.
Maybe I just don't notice it!
I generally assume everyone is a nice person and they seem to live up to it.

lostinrates

hjd wrote: »

Maybe I'm odd, but this is not my experience.
Maybe I just don't notice it!
I generally assume everyone is a nice person and they seem to live up to it.

I do think you are lucky then. I don't even count all my acquaintances-to-whom-I-lazily-might-refer-to-as-friends-(in-shorthand) as 'nice people'. To be honest I think very very few people are that nice, but I accept I am a bit skewed the other way, and don't expect people to be so.

lostinrates

lostinrates wrote: »

All this, yet, it doesn't get me down nor feel that its been a limiting factor to me in particular apart from things like making travel plans or routes.

Edit: I was once made redundant from a job I didn't really care about after making a complaint about a senior member of staffs behaviour. Other women also hated it but when they were questioned denied it bothered them but NOT that it existed. The guy apologised to me for not getting my sense of humour, and then I was made redundant.

Actually of course, its not-not my sense of humour, but not how he was doing it, to bully and humiliate. He proved the point we are making exactly, with none of my boundaries crossed, he drove this point of superiority home.

Made an edit when I should have done the egoistic self quote.

michaels

GDB2222 wrote: »

And I'm a huge fan of yellow stickered stuff. I'd buy doggy poo if you put a yellow sticker on it.

Slightly ot but in Morrison's bakery they seem to price everything at silly prices and then immediately yellow sticker half the stock down to something more normal is the silly price only exists to make the buyer think the y s price is a bargain.

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

NP thread now having an impact on dinners here - we had smoked haddock tonight nom nom

Is that the first time? I find npt drives menu thoughts all the time.

silvercar

Some very lucky women (like my Greater Manchester friend) pick well right at the beginning, get married when they are still young to men who are consistently on the level and never trigger the "not adding up" feeling.

That was me too.

I generally assume everyone is a nice person and they seem to live up to it.

I thought that, recently I have noticed that some people I had assumed were nice are sometimes really not.

I do think you are lucky then. I don't even count all my acquaintances-to-whom-I-lazily-might-refer-to-as-friends-(in-shorthand) as 'nice people'.

I think I am lucky, particularly in finding a life partner when young and avoiding the not so nice people and at the same time never having to worry about being "on the shelf" or whether my biological clock (that I don't know if I would ever have had) was ticking.

We, as a couple, have occasionally said to one another that a certain person may not be very nice, to the extent that we wonder why we have a friendship.

silvercar

neverdespairgirl wrote: »

NP thread now having an impact on dinners here - we had smoked haddock tonight nom nom

So did we. With an assortment of veg that didn't really match the fish, but needed using up.

LydiaJ

hjd wrote: »

Maybe I'm odd, but this is not my experience.
Maybe I just don't notice it!
I generally assume everyone is a nice person and they seem to live up to it.

My experience is that this is a very occasional thing rather than the nearly every day experience that PN says happens to her.