Mum, 88, moving in, how much rent to charge?

PasturesNew

whitewing wrote: »

Does your mum actually like living on her own? I wouldn't like nights alone in the house (I'm a wimp).

That's one of the blessings I am finding with my mother being in a home. I know that when there's night storms she goes to the lounge to chat to the night staff. And I never have to wonder if she's answering the door to strangers or giving out TMI over the phone to random callers.

And, she's got 50 people/day to chat to.... other residents, day care attendees, staff and even the visitors of the other residents. Of course they're often not chatting, just all staring out of the windows together, but she's warm, safe and happy. And there's tea/biscuits/cake every 2-3 hours.

PasturesNew

xxdeebeexx wrote: »

I wonder if mum is depressed. I have made an appointment to see her GP for a general check up of her pills but we have to wait a ridiculous 3 weeks for an appointment. It, might be worth asking about depression. I need to check that she won't miss this while at my sisters.....


dx

This could be possible. Would a 1-2 month taster/holiday at your sister's help her/you/sister decide where she'd like to be?

margaretclare

PasturesNew, 'when the mother was growing up' i.e. in the 1920s and 1930s, there was old age pension. This had been introduced in 1909 by Lloyd George.

Workhouses were abolished in 1930.

If I ever get sent to live in a home, please pleeeease don't put me within reach of biscuits and/or cake every 2-3 hours!

PasturesNew

margaretclare wrote: »

PasturesNew, 'when the mother was growing up' i.e. in the 1920s and 1930s, there was old age pension. This had been introduced in 1909 by Lloyd George.

Workhouses were abolished in 1930

Ah, I thought it was all that post-war stuff, didn't realise it was earlier.

I just looked it up. £22/week (today's value) for a single person and they had to be 70. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pensions_in_the_United_Kingdom and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Age_Pensions_Act_1908 - and "only those with a 'good character' could receive the pensions" - you also had to have lived in the UK for 20 years and "people who hadn't worked their whole life were also not eligible."


It was 1940-1946 before the current pensions system was put in place for everybody http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_pensions_in_the_United_Kingdom

margaretclare wrote: »

If I ever get sent to live in a home, please pleeeease don't put me within reach of biscuits and/or cake every 2-3 hours!

Sorry - it's compulsory. They all have it. Where mum is it's tinned biscuits too, not just a packet of Smartprice Rich Tea, and you can have as many as you want. She goes through phases of having 4 chocolate ones, or 4 pink wafers.

The cake isn't quite so common .... although with a cake being baked from scratch at every event/occasion/celebration (e.g. Jubilee, etc) ... and a cake for every resident's birthday, that's cake at least once a week. Although if you asked for more cake they'd provide it

margaretclare

Thanks for the info about biscuits. I'll do my best to remain independent and avoid like the plague!!

piglet25

I think that the sisters income is going to be reduced and she is looking at her mum as a cash cow. Thats the way it looks to me, nice weekly rent and interest free loans from the sale of her mum's house, call me harsh but I have seen this before.

margaretclare

piglet25 wrote: »

I think that the sisters income is going to be reduced and she is looking at her mum as a cash cow. Thats the way it looks to me, nice weekly rent and interest free loans from the sale of her mum's house, call me harsh but I have seen this before.

You remind me of a woman solicitor I used to know. She said to me once 'You only have to sit in this chair behind this desk for half a day and you see the very worst of human nature'. According to her experience, loving family members turned into ravening wolves whenever the word 'wills' or 'property' were mentioned.

About the biscuits/cake etc. It might be said 'Well, why worry at your time of life, what you look like, your figure etc, couldn't matter less. Sweet things are what the old dears like and will make them happy'. Maybe I've watched too many of those 'Big Body Squad' TV programmes. There's an ambulance company near us called Thames Ambulance who specialise in 'bariatric' ambulances. I've seen some of their equipment. No thanks.

duchy

An old person would have to already be obese if odd bits of cake and snacks made then THAT big. Most elderly people have poor appetites and mostly pick and won't/can't handle a full meal. My inlaws are both slim in their eighties and things like poached egg on toast to them is a full meal so they tend to eat little and often as "proper dinners" are just too indigestible for them.

margaretclare

Well, I don't know about 'most'. Is that a statistic, or just an observation based on anecdotal evidence?

My personal view is that in later life, quality is far more important than quantity and that's the way DH and I shop and eat.

I recall being taught as a student nurse that a ham sandwich was a balanced meal because it contained everything necessary for health. Add a bit of salad to it, we'd say nowadays. The same could be said for poached eggs on toast, especially if the toast was wholemeal. Follow it with some fruit and you have a balanced meal.

We certainly don't need all the energy-giving foods that we had when we were running around doing a full-time job then coming home and doing things with the family and in the home. Cake and biscuits are just 'treats' but you don't need treats all the time, otherwise they cease to be treats and become junk food.

On_my_way

My bf's sister is the same. Always gets her own way, makes money out of her parents and uses them all the time