Family members being difficult :(

Any

I think you completely overreacted to be so upset that a young family happened to have a day out and visit a place you told them about as they were near by. I think you are over thinking it. They went for lunch, were near by so popped in.. you already knew they are probably out?

However there seems to be a lot of overreactions in your family, if my brother ever called me the c word I would scream him down and made it very apparent that if he behaves like an animal again to delete my number as I am certainly deleting his.

It was a little missunderstanding and he overreacted big style!! Disgusting behaviour on his side.

I would keep myself away from them.

Person_one

Any wrote: »

I think you completely overreacted to be so upset that a young family happened to have a day out and visit a place you told them about as they were near by. I think you are over thinking it. They went for lunch, were near by so popped in.. you already knew they are probably out?

I can see why the OP was hurt.

She's making an effort to get to know and spend time with her new family members, she's invited them on a day out, and then they essentially went and had that day out but excluded her.

I'm sure if one of them had said 'Sis, we've not had much time just the three of us recently, do you mind if we do something with you another day and just have some family time this weekend?' then the OP would have had no problem at all with that.

I agree with you that her brother sounds horrible, what sort of person swears at their family members like that?

ja89

Thanks for the replies, I've decided to cut them out of my life. They only ever contact me if they want something. I'd rather have nobody than be surrounded by people who are false and don't genuinely care for me.

BrassicWoman

Hi,

of course, you don't need to make a once and for all decision.

I myself never make decision when I am depressed, changing my meds, etc, I park them for a while until I am feeling better and I know my judgement will be better.

So while you may think as you wish, I'd avoid communicating anything you may regret later.

xx

1971paula

Surely they knew ? or they wouldnt have had all the swim stuff with them. so didnt just popped in on the way past x

ska_lover

It sounds a bit like the fianc!e wanted to say no - but felt unable to say that to the OP, so stalled the refusal to send her son out with the OP - she needs to start being more honest, it's OK to say no.

I think you did over-react OP, complaining that they had a family day out - it does come across as very overbearing - and then this has then led to your brothers vile reaction.

I would back off a bit, it is clearly what they want, and what you need, if you are being verbally abused

pollypenny

Your brother sounds like a right charmer to use such language!

I'd leave them to get on with life. I bet they will be asking for babysitting sometime in the near future. However, there'd have to be a sincere apology for me first.

andygb

Person_one wrote: »

I can see why the OP was hurt.

She's making an effort to get to know and spend time with her new family members, she's invited them on a day out, and then they essentially went and had that day out but excluded her.

I'm sure if one of them had said 'Sis, we've not had much time just the three of us recently, do you mind if we do something with you another day and just have some family time this weekend?' then the OP would have had no problem at all with that.

I agree with you that her brother sounds horrible, what sort of person swears at their family members like that?

I totally agree with what you have said about the brother's manners/language Person_one - totally out of order.
However, we have also experienced a family member who attaches herself to families with young children, to the extenet where she tries to seperate the husband from his wife. In other words, she tries to arrange visits/go places, but always tries to make sure that the father is not present. The behaviour then escalated when she spread gossip (defamation and lies actually) about the families, saying that they were having marital problems, splitting up.
We don't know what the relationship is between the OP and her brother, but if it was bad to start with, then the brother may not want the OP to be involved in any way with HIS family.
To become upset/angry because someone has taken their family out for the day, and not involved you, is in my opinion quite bizarre behaviour.

andygb

1971paula wrote: »

Surely they knew ? or they wouldnt have had all the swim stuff with them. so didnt just popped in on the way past x

It is their family, not the OP's, so why should they be accountable for their actions to the OP?
I suspect that the fiancee did not have the heart to confront the OP and say "no", preferring to leave it to the OP's brother to do so.
We don't know the history/background of the situation. We don't know whether or not the OP is trying to impose herself too much on the family.

duchy

My brother is a bit of a control freak and although he's not stupid enough to use that kind of language to me (he treasures his nuts) he can certainly go OTT if he perceives anyone is "overstepping" into his "territory".
Maybe there's an element of that ? Only you know your brother's personality- but yes leave them to get on with it .