Frump to Fab - Onwards and Upwards

fedupandskint

Hello ladies,

Sparkles here.

Maman, your posted prompted me to post. Of course I would only keep something if it was perfect on, fitted perfectly and was the right price and I needed it!

LL - I wanted to pop and to say I admire how you have handled your loss in such a brave way. Your outfit sounds just delightful for the funeral and what a canny shopper? Brilliant.

As for me, I'm still fabbing away, maintaining my weight loss now as my normal weight for 2 years now, wearing all the clothes I have, watching what I buy, not a great deal recently as I'm trying to stay close to my budget for the year.

House is being fabbed this year. My bathroom has just finished a massive renovation from old fashioned, grotty and tired to bricks, no floor or ceiling to the most fabulous bathroom I could have imagined. It's now lighter, brighter, modern just how I wanted it to look. I had my first facemask and bath in weeks now it's finished to make sure the fabbing picked up once more.

I managed to stay on budget with some very careful shopping, being strict with myself, haggling prices down with suppliers where I could and when deliveries got mixed up and repeatedly cancelled complained and got a hefty amount of goodwill gestures or compensation that I'm putting towards the final item, a large mirror and cabinet.

In the past I would have either not said anything or lost my temper over this. It's amazing what you can achieve by staying calm, not that I was close to losing my rag!

I'm focusing on paying off my final chunk of debt. I'm about to pay off one loan, leaving the final one I took out when I bought the house. I've made a lot of overpayments on this one with more planned for the rest of the year and next. Fabbing now is pretty ingrained, so time to finish paying the debt back, the end's in sight now. Job wise, new job is going really well and I'm really enjoying the change. I also got a contract extension to give me some breathing space until next year. The change was well worth it and I'm so glad I took it.

Hence why not many pennies spent on clothes and a budget summer holiday which was brilliant!

Whatever little fabbing steps you take, keep at them, they're worth every step.

I'm sure all the fab steps I took where part of the changes I made which were part of where I am now and where I'm going.

alec_eiffel

I'm doing some house fabbing too! We're having lots of unexciting but necessary jobs done alongside the big thing which is to have some flooring laid in the living room. We've been without a proper floor for over 3 years and one is being fitted in a couple of weeks. We also went out to look for a new sofa last night too *yay*.

In terms of personal fabbing, I've just been keeping going with my usual stuff which seems to be paying off. Over the next little while I'm going to be sorting out my diet. We've gone from cooking almost everything from scratch and being really quite healthy, to less than that and allowing way too many treats in. Should be fun.

Enjoy your weekend.

lessonlearned

Good morning lovely ladies

Fab Friday today, glad rags on.......

I'm being lazy lying in bed, stray cat curled up next to me. She has taken to creeping into my room in the wee small hours. Little minx:rotfl:

Sparkles - what a fantastic post - so many good things in your life now...And how lovely that you've got your dream bathroom. DS2's house is still pretty rough but we also now have a fab bAthroom and a gorgeous kitchen. The rest will come.

I have spotted two properties I like., both Are a property developers dream. One is a huge project but with the potential to pay handsome dividends. The other is a tiny doll's house just perfect for one person, smack bang in my favourite village, just 3 doors down from where I used to live.

I would be broke for the next couple of years. The entrepreneur in me says yes because they both are good investments, the knackered widow says don,t be stupid :rotfl: you are too old and decrepit to take on such projects.

I'm a great believer in taking a leap of faith sometimes. Like you Sparkles it would mean some tight budgeting for a couple of years but the rewards could be very handsome. They would set me up for life.

Some times it is a case of who dares wins. I'll mull it over. I won't make any snap decisions.

A quiet day today, I need to pop over to the nursing home to pick up my mail from the bungalow and then a trip to Aldis. The media guy is coming tonight to discuss the photo montage for the service so need to finish sorting out the film footage and photos.

This weekend I will need to sit down and do some serious form filling. So much paperwork. In fact it has got me thinking about what I can do to make life easier for the boys should I die or become incapacitated.

I have of course done my will and poa but I need to make sure they know where they can find stuff, how to access information, passwords, codes etc, list all my accounts and financial dealings.

My affairs are not in a mess but they are rather complicated at present. Things do need organising and simplifying just in case. I will put it on my decluttering to do list for after the funeral.

It's a bit autumnal here. I've had the heating on a couple of times already. We still have bare floorboards in most rooms, no loft insulation yet and some damp in the cellar. I will get these matters dealt with ASAP, then slap some paint on the walls and then we can have some nice warm carpets down and get ourselves nice and cosy.

I'm aiming to get it all done by Christmas - should manage that ok.
DS1's house renovations have also hit the buffers so again, after the funeral we will get back to the task in hand.

In a way it is good that the boys and I are so busy. It's good that we have work and projects to focus on. Takes our minds off things a bit.

Have a great day. X

Rummer

LL Cats have a wonderful way of knowing when a bit of TLC is needed and it sounds as if she has come into your life at the right time.

The house projects both sound perfect for you. As tired as you may be feeling now you strike me as the sort of woman who would thrive on a challenge. However now is not the time to be making big life decisions and you have time to think about it.

There has been zero fabbing here the last week. Life and the illnesses of others have taken over and I have been caught up in one big juggling act. However I will be taking time out today to gather my thoughts and have a mini pamper before I tire myself out and am fit for nothing!

lessonlearned

Sorry to hear that Rummer. Take care and get some rest. If you are in this situation for the long haul be sure to pace yourself.

It's not being selfish. In cases like this you are no good to anyone if you are overtired and overstretched. It's a good idea to take time out.

Look after yourself and have a little pamper.....

lizzie157

Well Rummer you and me both by the looks of it :mad::(. Had word that though DD1 has to be out of her home in approx a week the council can't help her.:mad: She has to get in the queue. So in all probability she will be back here for a while even though there isn't a bed for her. Goodness knows how we'll manage with the cat but I suppose we will. No wonder I've been having migraines this week, left the dog outside for 4 hrs yesterday didn't realize she'd slipped out after me and thought she was with DS3 in his room.:o Poor thing. Felt like last night I was a whisker away from a panic/breakdown, never felt so unable to control my head and body in all my life. Really don't know where all this is gonna end. I know things could be worse but I feel like I'm at my wits end. I need a break. Don't know where to turn. I'm absolutely sure those sat in westminster have no idea what it's like for people like me struggling along, trying desperately to change something... anything but continually having any lifelines taken away.

Sorry for rant but genuinely this is making me ill.

maddiemay

Hugs to Lizzie and Rummer and all in need of some:)

Lizzie - just "passing through", but didn't want to read and run, wish I could do something to help, but thinking of you. Do you have a friend or relation with whom you and the dog could go and stay for a couple of days, just to give you some headspace and physical space from it all too?

Take care of yourselves as best as you can all you lovely people.

lessonlearned

Oh dear Lizzie what a time you are having.

I'm going to make a few practical suggestions, if they are no use to you then please just ignore them. Please excuse me if iI sound too brisk and upbeat. I am not making light of your situation, I can see how it is effecting you.

Please don't be offended, I am just one of life's practical, optimistic people and I can usually see a way round most problems. I learned this from my husband. Solving problems and coming up with solutions is what he did for a living and he taught me a lot.

I'm not saying I can solve your problems, I can't - only You can do that and it might take some time. What you need right now are what I call "coping mechanisms".

It seems to me that you have two core problems Money and your relationships. The one will affect the other and will result in a vicious circle of worry and stress.

I'm afraid I can't tell you how to break the circle only you know in your heart what you really want. If you don't yet know what you want then Realistically you are not going to get it.

It's only once you know where you want to go and where you want to be that you start to achieve results.

But first take a look at your situation and try to proritorise.

Money is only money, it's not life or death. When my husband became ill I ended up with £30k of credit card debt. The debt was caused because the State didn't just not pay us any money for years on end, I also had to buy much of OH,s equipment etc. The credit card paid our mortgage and put food on the table.

eventually,:( after years of appeals and tribunals the State did start paying us what he was entitled to but it was a long battle and by then the damage had been done and we were drowning in debt.

That's why I sold my home, all our assets and anything that wasn't nailed down to clear the debts and start again.

I would gladly take on that £30k debt if I could have my husband restored to me.

Now let's get practical.

Begore you do anything else you need to rest before you collapse. If necessary take to your bed and stay here. Let your family shift for themselves for a few days. Your kids are old enough and your husband needs to pull his weight.

Take the cat or the dog to bed and R e s t.

Your daughter will be perfectly ok sleeping on the sofa for a few days. It won't kill her. You are giving her shelter and food in her belly, I assume for free .....so she will be just fine. She will be safe under your roof, she won't be living on the streets. She's a lucky girl to have you.

Now you have other children, you have loved and nurtured them - it's time for them to return the favour. Tell them you are ill and ask them to help. They can all pitch in and Help in the house, they are quite capable of cooking, cleaning and doing some laundry for you. Let them take care of you for a while.

Which brings me to the real thorn in your side - your partner.It's up to you but if I were in your shoes I would tell him straight. I would just spell it out and say "I,m sorry but I,m ill, I really need you to help me" Tell him you cannot do it all by yourself another day longer, the burden is just too much to bear.

See how he responds. If he has half an ounce of decency he will see that you are at the end of your tether. He will see beyond his depression and will realise that he has to dig deep into his own inner resources to help and support you.

If he doesn't, then he is beyond redemption and you need to decide once and for all just how much more you are going to take.

Sounds harsh but he needs to either shape up or ship out. Your health and well being are seriously at risk now.

I'm really worried about you, the tone of your post smacks of desperation. Don't give up now, fight back. Stop worrying about what the state has done to you. You have to find a way forward but first you must rest and get a bit stronger.

You've done enough. It's time for your family to step up to the plate. They need to care for you for a little while.

And you have to let them.........If you don't you will be really ill.

Lizzie step off the treadmill - take a few steps back before you either burn out or collapse.

The reason I had to let my husband finally go into care was because I was simply burnt out.

We are only human, we can only take so much. It sounds like you've reached your limit.

Please take care and just let go of the reins for a while. the world will still carry on spinning on its axis.;) More to the point your family will manage without you for a little while.

lessonlearned

Ain't life fun:rotfl:

DS2 just popped into the cellar to read the meters to discover that that water inlet pipe was leaking, a fairly fast drip, drip, drip.

I guess it's been slowly leaking for a while, at least we now know why the cellar smells damp.....

On a positive note I managed to get a hair appt for tomorrow.

Really tired tonight. I feel like I could sleep for a week. :rotfl:

lessonlearned

It's going to be a very expensive day.

Had my hair done, unfortunately it cost me a lot more than usual because it is a Saturday so I didn't get the usual midweek discount. I won't do that again:o

Also my lovely plumber can't fit us in to sort out the leak so I've had to call out one of those emergency companies. :eek::eek: will probably cost me an arm and a leg but now is not a good time to coping with leaks.

On a more positive note I did buy myself a nice turquoise pure wool coat from a charity shop for a bargainous £8. Oh and i will pay for both my hair and the plumber with my Sainsbob,s credit card. At least there will be a few extra nectar points.

By the way I paid for OH's funeral the same way And will also put the wake on the card. £5k should give me quite a few nectar points.:rotfl:

You gotta laugh or you'd weep.........