Daughter being victimised at school

Person_one

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Sorry, that is just my experience of many young girls I have known, boys on the whole are far more straightforward. When I worked at a primary school, it was the girls who cared about what other girls wore or what hairstyle they had and girls who were nasty about it, the boys on the whole didn't care (although they did gang up on other boys who pursued pursuits other than football).

Children are tribal and it reflects in different ways according to gender, imho. In spite of this they usually grow up to be relatively civilised.

Others may have different experiences.

So, you think its appropriate that you just called every female child on the planet 'nasty' and a 'drama queen'? You're defending that? Would you call a friend's daughter that to their face?

Carmina-Piranha_2

vasseur wrote: »

Perhaps my explanation was too brief. I didn't mention that she's always having things taken and hidden like her pencils and ruler. She's just been off for 3 days with tonsillitis and the way events unfolded today seemed to my dd that they (the other girls) had been discussing all this while she was off and decided that U would put on her drama queen act and it all kicked off from there. My dd is an intelligent girl who is otherwise confident and outgoing and not prone to overreacting.

My work colleague mentions similar problems with her daughter who is the same age as yours. Having things taken or hidden must be so upsetting, and it would help if a teacher could keep an eye on that - perhaps ask everyone to check the trays and bags for the missing item because it may have accidentally fallen in?

As for this incident - you say you tell your daughter to be nice to everyone. So how come U wasn't invited to join in the game when she tried to play with your daughter? Do A and B dislike U?

As Balletshoes said, allowing U to join in might solve the problem. If she truly prefers drama and cattiness then she will quickly tire of playing traditional games with children who don't feed her dramatic inclinations. If she is just an upset little girl who wishes your daughter would let her join in, then she'll be happy.

pandora205

There's been some research that does show that girls do tend to use verbal 'bullying' approaches, often of quite complex forms, more than boys. I was involved in a project in a school looking at causes of anxiety for pupils and the girls were more likely to mention friendship problems - falling out, social exclusion, teasing, texting etc. - than boys. We looked at Years 8 10 and 13 in a secondary school. The issues seemed to be particularly evident in Year 10s but encouragingly were not mentioned in 6th formers.

Val Besag has done quite a lot of work on the topic and written an interesting book 'Girls Friendships, Fights and Feuds'. She is quoted here: http://www.theguardian.com/uk/2008/jan/20/pupilbehaviour.gender

seven-day-weekend

Person_one wrote: »

So, you think its appropriate that you just called every female child on the planet 'nasty' and a 'drama queen'? You're defending that? Would you call a friend's daughter that to their face?

Don't be silly, you know that is not what I meant.

I have a friend with two delightful little girls. They are not old enough yet to be drama queens

Person_one

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Don't be silly, you know that is not what I meant.

But its exactly what you said:

I'm so glad I never had a girl, nasty, catty little drama queens.

seven-day-weekend

Person_one wrote: »

But its exactly what you said:

The girls in question ARE being nasty catty little drama queens! Girls often are. It doesn't mean I think all of them are. You know I meant that, you are just being deliberately awkward.

gingin_2

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

You know I meant that, you are just being deliberately awkward.

No, it really did come across like that. I have a 10 year old daughter who is a real sweetheart and I did a sharp intake of breath when I read your post, assuming you meant all girls.

seven-day-weekend

gingin wrote: »

No, it really did come across like that. I have a 10 year old daughter who is a real sweetheart and I did a sharp intake of breath when I read your post, assuming you meant all girls.

Oh well I apologise if anyone thought I meant all girls, although I thought it obvious that I did not. Must try to word it better next time.

Person_one

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

The girls in question ARE being nasty catty little drama queens! Girls often are. It doesn't mean I think all of them are. You know I meant that, you are just being deliberately awkward.

You're glad you never had a girl, because they are nasty, catty drama queens.

Where in that statement is there any indication that you were only talking about a few particular girls? You were talking about your own potential daughters, and everybody else's actual daughters and now that you've been pulled up on it you're back-pedalling.

I'm not being awkward, I'm challenging your horrible attitude towards female children.

seven-day-weekend

I don't believe I said 'I'm glad I don't have a girl BECAUSE they are catty..etc'. I used two separate unlinked sentences.

If you think I have a terrible attitude, report me and get me banned. I've apologised and I'm not explaining myself any further