Daughter being victimised at school

FBaby

Pearlstar wrote: »

The possibly hormonal girl is her own mothers problem not the OPs!!

Is that what we should teach our children? That if they upset someone, it is not their problem? What a world for our children grow in when they are told that only their feelings matter and that other's feelings are other people's problems. If that's how it is, then surely it is the right of the other girls to sympathise with the hormonal girl rather than OPs and that too is not OP's problem.

Pearlstar

FBaby wrote: »

Is that what we should teach our children? That if they upset someone, it is not their problem? What a world for our children grow in when they are told that only their feelings matter and that other's feelings are other people's problems. If that's how it is, then surely it is the right of the other girls to sympathise with the hormonal girl rather than OPs and that too is not OP's problem.

I am taking the OPs post at face value and offering support to a fellow mother. Unless I am missing something her daughter appears to be the victim in this, and as I said before she is only venting and looking for a sympathetic ear, why should we rewrite the whole scenario?

sassyblue

FBaby wrote: »

Is that what we should teach our children? That if they upset someone, it is not their problem? What a world for our children grow in when they are told that only their feelings matter and that other's feelings are other people's problems. If that's how it is, then surely it is the right of the other girls to sympathise with the hormonal girl rather than OPs and that too is not OP's problem.

But the daughter didn't do it intentionally. Should she therefore learn to sacrifice her own wants because someone is being demanding and wanting their own way? I don't think the OPs daughter has done anything wrong here.

meer53

My daughter is 14 in 3 weeks. No sign of anything changing any time soon. If anything, it gets worse as they go through their teens.

OP, you need to stock up on wine and chocolates.

meritaten

I would have a word with her class teacher. she is entitled to play with her best friends if she wishes. explain to the teacher that she always plays with them and the playground supervisor needs to be brought in on this so she can keep an eye on the situation.
your little girl should not be bullied into playing with this little diva - who is definitely no friend of hers!
good luck - with co-operation from the teacher and playground supervisor this situation shouldn't become worse.

FBaby

But the daughter didn't do it intentionally. Should she therefore learn to sacrifice her own wants because someone is being demanding and wanting their own way? I don't think the OPs daughter has done anything wrong here.

Well maybe the other girls didn't say what they said to intentionally upset OP's DD either. It's not about doing right or wrong, it's about showing compassion for someone who is upset. I can understand a 10 year old struggling with that concept, but I find it quite condescending for an adult to blame a child bursting into tears on their supposed hormones.

moomoomama27

It's a petty battle! So etching that will likely occur 100x before she leaves school. Rather than wanting to smash the girls faces in ( lovely person), how about equip your child with strategies and ways of. Coping with fall outs, it can't be healthy her hearing violence threatened over a playground fallout, bit if an extreme reaction over girly upsets!!

Morglin

meer53 wrote: »

My daughter is 14 in 3 weeks. No sign of anything changing any time soon. If anything, it gets worse as they go through their teens.

OP, you need to stock up on wine and chocolates.

And Prozac, don't forget the Prozac...........:eek::eek:

God, teenage girls.....:wall:

But, they do grow out of it lol :T

Lin

seven-day-weekend

Person_one wrote: »

What a horrible thing to say about everybody else's daughters.

Sorry, that is just my experience of many young girls I have known, boys on the whole are far more straightforward. When I worked at a primary school, it was the girls who cared about what other girls wore or what hairstyle they had and girls who were nasty about it, the boys on the whole didn't care (although they did gang up on other boys who pursued pursuits other than football).

Children are tribal and it reflects in different ways according to gender, imho. In spite of this they usually grow up to be relatively civilised.

Others may have different experiences.

Pearlstar

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Sorry, that is just my experience of many young girls I have known, boys on the whole are far more straightforward.

Others may have different experiences.

Its lovely having a daughter when they are grown up, well in most cases anyway!