Daughter being victimised at school

Errata

Person_one wrote: »

What a horrible thing to say about everybody else's daughters.

Including the OP's daughter, no doubt. Totally absurd.

19lottie82

I have a 2 x dsds aged 10 and 14 and trust me this is normal. I've lost count of the amount of times they have fallen out with their friends and made up again.

I know it may not seem like it but this is nothing serious on the grand scale of things, its just growing up.

Encourage your daughter to be her own person and not rely solely on a small group of friends. This won't be the only time relationships change or suffer friction between now and adulthood.

19lottie82

Person_one wrote: »

What a horrible thing to say about everybody else's daughters.

In comparison with boys, its pretty much true though! Girls are like this whereas boys just settle things with their fists if need be.

laurel7172

19lottie82 wrote: »

In comparison with boys, its pretty much true though! Girls are like this whereas boys just settle things with their fists if need be.

Actually, no.

With experience of several years and a couple of hundred children in Year 6, catty and nasty girls are, thankfully, a minority. Some of the cruellest psychological bullying I've seen has come from the similar proportion of boys who like to use words and exclusion to wound. And boys emphatically do NOT make a habit of walloping each other on our watch.

I genuinely don't understand why posters who I imagine to be female should be so down on (and catty about) girls.

That said, I'm not convinced by the OP's daughter's story, as she seems to have excluded another girl from a game before this unpleasant retaliation took place. I'd be amazed if there wasn't history of nastiness on both sides.

vasseur

laurel7172 wrote: »

That said, I'm not convinced by the OP's daughter's story, as she seems to have excluded another girl from a game before this unpleasant retaliation took place. I'd be amazed if there wasn't history of nastiness on both sides.

FGS read my post properly before you make your assumptions on things that haven't happened. I have told you the facts yet some of you are padding it out with things that didn't occur. My daughter never excluded this other girl she was simply (as so many of you have said she should) extending her friendship group by playing with other children.

I have always told her not to get involved in arguments and just be nice to everyone which is why I think she is finding it so hard to come to terms with why they all started on her yesterday. If she had been nasty I would have been the first one to tell her she got what she deserved.

19lottie82

laurel7172 wrote: »

Actually, no.

With experience of several years and a couple of hundred children in Year 6, catty and nasty girls are, thankfully, a minority. Some of the cruellest psychological bullying I've seen has come from the similar proportion of boys who like to use words and exclusion to wound. And boys emphatically do NOT make a habit of walloping each other on our watch.

I genuinely don't understand why posters who I imagine to be female should be so down on (and catty about) girls.

That said, I'm not convinced by the OP's daughter's story, as she seems to have excluded another girl from a game before this unpleasant retaliation took place. I'd be amazed if there wasn't history of nastiness on both sides.

Not from my experience.

Being a "girl" myself, and having two step daughters who I have pretty much raised for the last four years, and having tow younger brothers I can say that without a doubt girls are much worse for this type of thing than boys.

sassyblue

vasseur wrote: »

We've had another long chat this morning. I've told her to play with her true friends if that's what she wants to do and not feel pressured by the others and if they start another argument I will pop in and have a word with her teacher and get him to keep an eye on things.

And repeat some mantras for her for Monday.

'I haven't fallen out with anyone and I'll play with who l want'

And 'keep your noses out'.

I do sympathise, it does seem to be par for the course with some girls. x

FBaby

A girl in dd's class (U) (who dd has never been particularly close to) started behaving all weird and upset today saying that dd had changed and why doesn't she play with her any more. DD said that she hadn't fallen out with her, just that B and A were her best friends and she liked playing with them. This girl burst into tears (she's v hormonal and has hit puberty already) and then 3 of the nastiest girls in the class saw, came over from the other side of the playground and got involved (they are always sticking their noses in arguments that don't concern them) and they too turned on my daughter saying that she'd changed and that she should be playing with them

I am confused how you can be so utterly convinced that this girl was crying just because of hormonal issues that had nothing with feeling rejected by your daughter, yet your daughter being upset is because she is victimised.

It is hard to see how you could know exactly what happened but for going by what your daughter told you. Your daughter's view wil clearly be biased (as I expect the other one will too), but I very much doubt it is as clear cut as you make it -hormonal vs victimisation.

Person_one

19lottie82 wrote: »

Not from my experience.

Being a "girl" myself, and having two step daughters who I have pretty much raised for the last four years, and having tow younger brothers I can say that without a doubt girls are much worse for this type of thing than boys.

You could make an equally derogatory comment about the fact that all boys are more likely to be violent or aggressive.

It wouldn't be right though, and it would still be sexist and offensive, because its a gross generalisation about 50% of the population.

If girls are more likely to express conflict by social exclusion and boys are more likely to express conflict through fighting though, maybe that's something to do with the way we are socialising them and the society they see modelled by the adults around them and in the media? Its probably not their fault...

Pearlstar

The possibly hormonal girl is her own mothers problem not the OPs! Its normal to defend your own, as long as you don't take it too far, which she isn't because she is posting on here and not actually going round hitting anyone!