problems with sons and daughters

daisiegg

I live 10 minutes away from my parents and see them once a month at the very least, but recently it is a lot more than that since I have been pregnant. My mum sees her parents at least once a week. My dad's dad lives in Scotland but he sees him probably four or five times a year.

My husband hardly ever sees his mum. She lives about 250 miles away, but she lives in the same town as my husband's daughter, and my husband is up there seeing his daughter every third weekend (was every second weekend up until recently). He always asks her to meet up on the weekends when he is local but she often does not get back to him. He probably sees her maybe....six times a year. If that, actually. I see her even less often. She has only been to our house once (though she is always invited). I have no idea why. The strange thing is, my husband's brother lives with her, and his sister sees her frequently. So it's not that she just doesn't care about her children. Not sure if it is because my husband moved far away from home about twenty years ago and never moved back, so she has got used to not seeing that much of him. When they do see each other it is only ever for a quick 30 minute coffee. He never goes to her house or anything. I find it a really strange relationship to have with a parent. I wonder if she will be more interested when our baby is born...who knows. She is actually meant to be coming to stay for a weekend in July but I am not holding my breath it will actually happen.

When I first was with my husband I used to spend ages nagging him to get in touch with his mum - thinking the lack of contact must be his fault. It took a while for me to realise that he does text/call her and get no reply, or he arranges to meet her and then she cancels at the last minute. I can't get my head around it at all, particularly as she is really, really nice when we do see her.

Anyway that got a bit long but I think what I am trying to say is, it is not always the 'fault' of the adult child when contact is infrequent!

aggypanthus

Wheres the other thread please?

DKLS

I see my mum 3-4 times a month, as for the rest of the clan I see them at funerals, last one being ten years ago, I simply cannot tolerate them in my life and deleted them.
Its so much better picking your friends than tolerating oxygen thieves.

Tomcatsmum

I see my mum and dad at least twice a week and speak most days on the phone. I guess I have always been very close to my family and we get on very well.

victory

aggypanthus wrote: »

Wheres the other thread please?

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/4996393

geoffky

I see my parents most days...I nip in for a coffee and to borrow tools from my dad...

PlymouthMaid

I see my parents every week and usually ring midweek if I get a chance. See my eldest daughter roughly fortnightly sometimes more and youngest when home from uni and dont talk as often as we should really.

balletshoes

red_devil wrote: »

Son dosent seem to want a family life. He prefers going to raves with friends when not working. He dosent seem to interact with anyone unless they are his age and like the things he does music and raves.

he could have go on holifays with family and attended many get togethers and had a good family life but he opts out.

little bit selfish but there you go.

maybe he thinks he does have a good family life, one in which he is comfortable enough not to have to go on family holidays and family get-togethers? I love my family, but I have to say, when I was in my 20s and early 30s, I spent a lot more time with my friends (going out, holidays, get-togethers) than I did with my family - you couldn't have paid me to go on holiday with my family at that stage in my life!

whodathunkit

red_devil wrote: »

Son dosent seem to want a family life. He prefers going to raves with friends when not working. He dosent seem to interact with anyone unless they are his age and like the things he does music and raves.

he could have go on holifays with family and attended many get togethers and had a good family life but he opts out.

little bit selfish but there you go.

I can't think of many young people who'd choose to go to a family get together rather than socialise with friends their own age. As for going on holiday with your parents when you're an adult, not many people would want to do that at any age!

Hermia

whodathunkit wrote: »

I can't think of many young people who'd choose to go to a family get together rather than socialise with friends their own age. As for going on holiday with your parents when you're an adult, not many people would want to do that at any age!

Ha! Indeed! I get on fine with my family, but we have very little in common. I find family get togethers dull and no way would I use my precious annual leave on a trip that doesn't interest me when I could spend it doing something I enjoy with like-minded people.