problems with sons and daughters

Snakey

I think most people whose relationship with their adult children has deteriorated to such an extent that they've been cut out of their lives would feel highly motivated to tell everyone that it was done "for no reason". Seriously, who cuts contact with close family for absolutely no reason?

red_devil

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

Really? My family are the most important, I love seeing them.

Totally agree its selfish to opt out almost completely. Sometimes you need to think people would like to see you sometimes.

Threebabes

red_devil wrote: »

Why arent they interested? Its their son.

Im not sure. He never fit their mould from being a child. They talk about how well his siblings have done. My hubby has done fantastically well, hes got his degree and phd, he works hard, a great husband and a brilliant dad.

lottieholder

I'm currently sitting in a hotel bar with a very nice glass of Chenin Blanc on a family weekend. This is my Mum's side of the family. My brother and sister do not speak to each other under any circumstances and both of them have reservations about me as I speak to both of them. This is a family ritual. When one of us dies and is cremated the cremains are taken to a specific spot and join the others.

There is my remaining aunt, my cousins and their children and usually one or two of my children and grandchildren. There doesn't seem to be any problem with the younger generation wanting to be somewhere else. We have a dinner somewhere and catch up with family gossip.

In some ways we're dysfunctional but some how none of us hate the other so much that we wouldn't help if need be.

Interestingly and as an aside, the remains go on top of a small mountain. My aunt is 86, I'm 67, and my sister is 66. And we all climbed it. I think we're doing pretty well!

riverboat2001

I didn't see my Mum very often, because she could be quite hurtful and spiteful, and i dreaded going to see her, so for my mental well being i stayed away.
My Nan passed away, and we are now the only ones left.

My Mum gave up work,two years ago and moved out of the flat that she hated living in, and ended up living very close to me.

She is a changed person since she gave up work, she is 90% of the time a joy to be around, she still has her moments, but i can handle them much better now.

rachiibell

I think it depends on what the family occasion is and how often they happen and what plans their friends have invited them to.

For example I would always choose big family events eg. weddings, funerals, ect over plans with friends.

I might choose to go to other family events such as Sunday lunches but I wouldn't want it to get to the stage where I'm expected to go each week.

I went on holiday with my parents and my younger sister last year and had a great time. However they've invited me again this year and I'm not sure I want to go. I know they'll probably see it as me turning down a free holiday but they won't take into account that they've not left me much notice to get the week off work and even though my food and accommodation will be paid for that week I'll still need to make sure I've got enough for rent on my flat. So I'm expecting a big argument soon