Get lost debt

in_need_of_direction

I want a cellar. I'm too afraid to go into the roof space and my brats take advantage of that fact

Chrysalis1976

Glad you had a good break, sounds like a mammoth wash load.

How are you getting on with your jobs around the house, I managed to put up a curtain rail the other day which is not an easy job when the drill is rubbish and so are the walls! I may buy some paint today to start doing the attic, luckily this is the easiest room to decorate as just needs a lick of paint and a carpet.

If you're not back from the cellar by tomorrow I will send out search parties, have a good find!

C x

parsniphead

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

I want a cellar. I'm too afraid to go into the roof space and my brats take advantage of that fact

The cellar is really damp but when sorted its handy storage space. My loft is empty because I have no boards down in it to walk on. It's good I suppose as it would be stuffed full too. I would like to get it done as some kind of usable room in the distant future.

Chrysalis1976 wrote: »

Glad you had a good break, sounds like a mammoth wash load.

How are you getting on with your jobs around the house, I managed to put up a curtain rail the other day which is not an easy job when the drill is rubbish and so are the walls! I may buy some paint today to start doing the attic, luckily this is the easiest room to decorate as just needs a lick of paint and a carpet.

If you're not back from the cellar by tomorrow I will send out search parties, have a good find!

C x

I've managed to put up a curtain pole across the back door so far. I try not to drill into brick as it's an old house and the bricks are solid. I haven't got the oomph to get the drill to touch them.

A room which needs a lick of paint and a carpet sounds good. Unfortunately after years of being skint and not being able to do much a lot more now needs doing. If I'm honest each room could do with being knocked back and re plastered, the house needs retiring and I only have single glazing. DH said he is going to sort the retiring so I'm holding off as much as possible until then. It will jus be bit by bit after that.

Anyway the first tip run has been completed so a cup of tea and back down the cellar. Hopefully enough will be thrown out so I can go again tomorrow. It's very satisfying.:)

Have a good day. X

parsniphead

Evening diary

The following part I put onto the Hoarding thread over on old style moneysaving yesterday. Coupled with what I achieved yesterday, taking the second load to the tip this morning and an odd mood got me thinking about the past number of years.

*******************************************************

Apologies in advance for the long thread but I have visited the tip first thing and then spent a further 2 hrs in the cellar from hell clearing some stuff out. I thought I would list it so I can see what a state it had got into.

Out for the tat man
Broken oil filled radiator
Stands for mannequins

Sent to the tip
2 x shelves
2 x coffee tables
2 x CD racks
Old baby car seat
Broken computer table
Kitchen worktop cutoff
Wall candle sconces
Twisted curtain rail
Broken bucket
Mannequins
Broken toaster
Old sewing chest with woodworm

In front of the house a give away item
Step machine -Used 3 times in 20 years. And I wonder why I'm fat.

Pile for next tip visit - tomorrow
More mannequins
DVD & CD players -Both broken
Bits of old wood
A bin bag of hangers
Rusty broken skirting heater
Old broken desk
Massive wooden coffee table top
Various bits of garden rubbish
A computer keyboard
3 bin bags rubbish
Very rusty electric heater
Aerial
Printer
14 trillion carrier bags.

Now I feel proud and ashamed at the same time. I would like to say that the cellar is finished but alas no. I have 4 CPU's to get rid of, an old wall cupboard and other stuff. When this is done I can start clearing the cellar steps and arranging the stuff so it's usable and accessible.

*******************************************************

So that was yesterday. For some reason just lately the smallest bit of hard work wears me out. I don't know why but my energy levels are so low and coupled with the lack of motivation and serious joint pains it takes every ounce of will power to do anything. I had talked myself out of taking the second load this morning but thankfully talked myself back into it. This later led onto sweeping the entry and starting on the top end of the garden starting a good tidy.

Debt has over the years almost led me into not caring about anything, well myself and my house really. All of my 30's and the first part of my 40's have been all about debt. My weight has piled on, I walk about looking like a slob and I gave up on the house because I couldn't afford to do the things I want, where I should have been looking after what I have. Blimey this sounds a moany post, it's not I promise, it's just a list of observations.

So anyway after starting the garden clear up the naughty sun led me towards the lawn where I lay down to soak up the sun but it tends to be quite a reflective space for me. I remembered the day sitting by my greenhouse in about 2007 just before starting my DMP saying goodbye to my beloved house. I had reached the conclusion that I was going to loose it even though I had spent many hours on this site ( under a different name) and knew that all debts CAN be sorted. Anyway it was in a very resigned manner that I said my goodbyes to the house and apologised to it........mmmmmm I think there may have been a few mental issues going on there. But I'm still here, no longer single, a mommy and nearing the end of my debt journey. It seemed like a dozen lifetimes ago, a completely different me.

The work starts now though. I need to start loving me again. I made mistakes, but who doesn't? I neglected myself and my house which has made me ashamed and with a long haul ahead to get things back on track. I have a beautiful, amazing three year old boy who I have to be fit and healthy for. He deserves a warm, comfortable home he is not ashamed of, and so do the rest of us. One job a day, one small job will make a difference. One larger job a weeks and the repairs will be steaming along.

Regarding money it's still a problem. There is so little to spare but I'm determined to do this on my own. This was a debt run up when I was alone and I refuse to let my DH help me sort it. He would but it's something I HAVE TO DO MYSELF.

Also I decided that I needed to change my signature. There was too much information on there and to me it related back to bad times. I need to begin to move forward mentally. I will still take part in the challenges I joined but I'm not going to splatter it all over my siggy.

Tomorrow I'm going to treat DS to a Mr Man book ( he is a child of simple tastes) and a drink and cake at a new local cafe which has open this week. I try to support local small businesses and they have done it so beautifully.

I'm also going to make an effort with myself. Not dress like a slob and make sure I pop on a bit of makeup.

Well done if you have read this, what a waffler eh! I just needed to get thing off my chest. It's not a negative post even though it sound so a times. It's a way for me to tell myself how far I have come and what I have to look forward to.

I have survived.:)

in_need_of_direction

Not just survived but going from strength to strength. Thanks for sharing your story

parsniphead

Plans are made and plans change.

For the past two days I have been reading through Frugal Queens blog. This has resulted in me walking around with my notebook and pens making plans, stealing ideas and seeing life, debt and home in a completely different life.

This is going to sound daft but I feel like I have been reborn. I now have plans to strive for which not only are sensible but excite me. I'm even starting to feel differently about food again, not just as a fuel but also something to enjoy.

I know you probably won't see this but thank you Frugal Queen. I think you may have changed my life.

Off to read some more.

parsniphead

I have a little spare time today as we decided to have the Sunday roast last night which was lovely as it was a cool, rainy day.

DH is cooking lunch today so I have decided to use that time to get as much cleaning and sorting done as possible. I would like to get the house looking reasonably presentable so I can spend tomorrow doing some of the small DIY jobs. I do like doing DIY and its the small things which can make a difference.

I have been shopping for supplies but around the house. It's amazing what you can find when looking at things differently and thinking about how they would work in different rooms.

On the financial side of life i have decided that I have to start saving for an emergency fund, even if it's only a little per month. I know that generally 10% of wages is the standard figure but I would struggle with that at the moment. So I have decided to try and put in at least 5% and if it's a difficult month whatever I can afford. I cant believe that after years of being on MSE I still haven't got this sorted. So off I co an transfer a small amount to my credit union account to get the ball rolling.

Have a good Sunday.

parsniphead

Oh dear, where on earth has my motivation gone. Yesterday I did nothing except faff around on here and frugal blogs. No DIY done, no food eaten (just me, the little one was fed well) and just one room vacuumed.

I still have those feelings today but I have to push myself to achieve something. I need to start getting my folksy shop stocked but feel that the house is so chaotic around me I can't concentrate.

Right ho, time to get on. I'm going t give myself one hour to get as much done as possible and try to kick start myself.

in_need_of_direction

I wish I didn't eat on my achieve nothing days.

lobbyludd

hey parsniphead,
I've not been so active on it recently but been on the hoarders thread for over a year and have noticed you on it.
the reason I've been less active is a need to get hold of my debt (it was getting to near breaking point), I have read through this diary and I think it's difficult to see from the inside what others see from the outside which is that you are doing marvellously under very difficult circumstances.

you're raising a small child - that right there is not nothing, and can take up all of a persons existence - or break them. You have also near cracked your debt in a long and difficult journey with set backs that you have overcome. You are tackling ?hoarding issues or other emotional issues that lead to keeping hold of stuff.

that is amazing. you are amazing.

I'm 5ft 2 and a half and currently 13 stone, I held onto "stuff" for a lot of emotional reasons and I'm 17K in debt, I struggle to parent my children and work. These things are intertwined and it's hard to unpick them and deal with all at once. please don't be ashamed, of your surroundings, situation, behaviours and most importantly never of yourself. You are making a better world for your little one, family and you.

That's a journey, which needs to involve reflective "do nothing" days, (although in reality you kept another human being alive so hardly a do nothing day), because we are not machines (we are much more wonderful than that).