a fool in love

catkins

4given wrote: »

I know it should only be" a fool," i never set out for this it just happened. I tried to end it at first but obviously he talked me round.I have suddenly started to feel guilty and want to do the right thing.

An affair doesn't "just happen" and it really annoys me that people like to pretend it does. Did your clothes fly off you and an invisible hand push you naked into bed together? No, thought not.

TrickyWicky wrote: »

Sorry about the gang, MSE forum members are notorious for being a judgemental bunch. Sometimes I think it's better to post annonymously online - it's easier to talk to strangers about it than real people you know.

I think people have the right to be judgmental when talking about someone having an affair.

KatieDee wrote: »

I hate to say it (and would more than likely disagree if it happened to me!) but although sleeping with somebody when you know they're in a relationship is lacking in morals, the OP owes nothing to the guys wife or him. It is the man in this situation who is committing the wrongful doing to his wife and he made a conscious decision to begin the affair.

Of course the guy is in the wrong as he is the married one BUT the OP is in the wrong too if she knew from the beginning that he was married. How would she feel if it were her husband being unfaithfull?

catkins

KatieDee wrote: »

We've all been foolish at least once, my dear

I wouldn't call having an affair with a married man being foolish.


Yes, I have been foolish in my life. I haven't though had an affair with a married man or been unfaithful to my husband

TrickyWicky

Angry_Bear wrote: »

I really hope this is a joke in bad taste. Or what, she (hypothetical she) is supposed to just lie back and take it or she deserves to be cheated on?

No it wasn't a joke. For all you know they might have had kids and then she decided to completely end their sex lives and make his life miserable. I'm not saying cheating is right but everyone needs to enjoy time with the opposite sex.

Pollycat wrote: »

I find it shocking that you allow yourself to be treated in this way.
Presumably it annoys you from the smiley you've used.

Yes it does annoy me and yes it is frustrating but what can I do? I love the woman and frankly given that I'm in a massive fix, I'd rather keep her than end up in a bigger hole! I must 'fess up though that I have had doubts about whether we're actually right for each other though due to this and other things. She's a great girl but it's her way or nothing and thats hard to live with.

Pollycat

TrickyWicky wrote: »

No it wasn't a joke. For all you know they might have had kids and then she decided to completely end their sex lives and make his life miserable. I'm not saying cheating is right but everyone needs to enjoy time with the opposite sex.

Then you talk about things and try to put it right.

Jumping into bed with somebody else is not the way to resolve a lack of sex with your wife or husband.

He should be trying to enjoy time with his wife, not some random woman he met at work.

And if they can't sort it out, he should have the decency to tell his wife that he can't live with her, not start shagging somebody else behind her back.

jenhug

All of this willy sharing I hope people are using proper protection. If he is prepared to cheat on his wife, goodness knows where else he is dipping the wick. Get yourself checked!

Angry_Bear

TrickyWicky wrote: »

No it wasn't a joke. For all you know they might have had kids and then she decided to completely end their sex lives and make his life miserable. I'm not saying cheating is right but everyone needs to enjoy time with the opposite sex.

Except that what you have now "you better have sex with me or I'll go elsewhere". The best you can call that is blackmail, and you could probably call it much worse.

As Pollycat says, in such a situation you put up with it, you talk about it and find a way to fix it or you leave.

Fabwitch

You could be the young girl whose been having an affair with my best friends husband the last two and a half years. They worked together too but now in different departments. If you have any self respect for yourself I would advise you to stay away from him and never get involved with a married man again. You say it started as a bit of fun, well I am sure his wife and children will not see it like that. My friends children are grown up and the girl he had an affair with younger than his children. He did wrong breaking his marriage vows, yet some men are very week and find it easy to jump into bed with a young girl offering sex on a plate. Its also very rare for the man to leave his wife unless she kicks him out. If you continue the affair, rest asure he will cheat on you too and I doubt very much you were the first affair so don't be thinking you are special and he really loves you. Learn by your mistakes and never get involved with a married man again.

4given

catkins wrote: »

An affair doesn't "just happen" and it really annoys me that people like to pretend it does. Did your clothes fly off you and an invisible hand push you naked into bed together? No, thought not.





I think people have the right to be judgmental when talking about someone having an affair.




Of course the guy is in the wrong as he is the married one BUT the OP is in the wrong too if she knew from the beginning that he was married. How would she feel if it were her husband being unfaithfull?

believe me some affairs just happen, there was no plan , we were two people who just found attracted to each other and on my part i do't know why i did it.I honestly can't give a reason.This not an excuse believe me u i feel absolutely appalled at my behaviour.Whilst i cannot change the past i will accept i did wrong and hopefully learn from it

Mojisola

4given wrote: »

believe me some affairs just happen, there was no plan , we were two people who just found attracted to each other and on my part i do't know why i did it.I honestly can't give a reason.

The attraction can "just happen" - acting on the attraction and having sex takes some planning.

tea_lover

4given wrote: »

believe me some affairs just happen, there was no plan ,

Utter, utter BS. Sex with another person does not 'just happen' - otherwise none of us would be safe to leave the house without accidentally [EMAIL="sh@gging"]sh@gging[/EMAIL] anyone we bumped into.

You CHOSE to have an affair, your CHOSE to sleep with a married man. Take some responsibility and stop spouting this 'couldn't help it' b*ll*cks.