a fool in love

Pollycat

4given wrote: »

I have been thinking lately that its not fair to his children and how devastating they would be if they found out,I have always felt guilty but i ignore the feeling now i have decided i need to do the right thing.I accept all the blame i get and am just grateful the wife does not know

Take the time to spare a thought for his wife too.

I agree with hazyjo.

BucksLady

OP, I think you should take time to think about 'why' this affair started in the first place, otherwise it may happen again.

alias*alibi

4given wrote: »

Thanks u all for your replies and those who think i'm a troll i wish it was that simple.I just feel guilty and because i can't talk to any of my friends about it i thought i might come here.I'm not looking for support but just for someone to tell me to be strong and end it.Snakey i especially like your answer.I value all of you and your opinions.I will from tomorrow ignore his messages and block him from my mobile.I know i was wrong and i never thought i would find myself in situation like this.

You won't get any support from me; people like you have no idea of the destruction your stupid sordid little affair does to the innocent others.

4given

alias*alibi wrote: »

You won't get any support from me; people like you have no idea of the destruction your stupid sordid little affair does to the innocent others.

i'm not asking for your support, i know i did wrong and nothing u can say can make it worse.I just wanted someone to talk to.Anyone else thank you for your replies i appreciate it.

FBaby

To be fair we do not know that the wife is a poor innocent party. Maybe she is having an affair herself. Affairs are always wrong but the one being cheated on is not always totally free of guilt.

TrickyWicky

FBaby wrote: »

To be fair we do not know that the wife is a poor innocent party. Maybe she is having an affair herself. Affairs are always wrong but the one being cheated on is not always totally free of guilt.

I have to agree with this.

My partner absolutely loathes me having anything to do with other women. If I so much as smile or talk in a friendly manner to another woman I'm accused of an affair. Admittedly this has got better with time but only because I've mastered the art of completely ignoring other women, showing no emotion and finding faults with women in front of her. Without those techniques, I'm just like the last bloke who cheated on her - after all women :mad:

Turn the tables however and she's more than happy to come home telling me about how people have been flirting with her at work etc and when I point out I'm not very happy about it, it's a non issue. I've even caught her flirting with other men in the past yet she'll then deny it was anything more than just talking or being friendly etc.

Women can be very hypocritical about things like this and quite frankly, it takes two to tango. Why was this man looking to stray anyway? - Maybe his wife isn't keeping her wifely side of the marriage agreement.

Whatever has happened has happened. There is nothing the op can do about it now other than continue with the affair, break it off or break up the family to keep him for herself.

Yes she has sinned but even the church allows forgiveness so I think the bashers here should calm down a little - you've all got your faults too.

tea_lover

FBaby wrote: »

Affairs are always wrong but the one being cheated on is not always totally free of guilt.

I disagree. If your (not you personally) OH is doing your head in so much that you think about sleeping with someone else, leave them. If you don't want to be with someone anymore, if you don't get on, if you don't like them - leave them. Don't cheat and then blame them.

Some people are just downright horrible - granted. But that doesn't make it acceptable to cheat on them. It's NEVER ok. People always have the choice to leave a relationship that isn't making them happy anymore.

Angry_Bear

TrickyWicky wrote: »

Why was this man looking to stray anyway? - Maybe his wife isn't keeping her wifely side of the marriage agreement.

I really hope this is a joke in bad taste. Or what, she (hypothetical she) is supposed to just lie back and take it or she deserves to be cheated on?

Mojisola

tea_lover wrote: »

I disagree. If your (not you personally) OH is doing your head in so much that you think about sleeping with someone else, leave them.

Some people are just downright horrible - granted. But that doesn't make it acceptable to cheat on them. It's NEVER ok.

Agree with this.

You can't have an affair without lying - not liking the person you're in a relationship with is no excuse for lying and cheating. Leave them before sleeping with other people.

Pollycat

TrickyWicky wrote: »

My partner absolutely loathes me having anything to do with other women. If I so much as smile or talk in a friendly manner to another woman I'm accused of an affair. Admittedly this has got better with time but only because I've mastered the art of completely ignoring other women, showing no emotion and finding faults with women in front of her. Without those techniques, I'm just like the last bloke who cheated on her - after all women :mad:

Turn the tables however and she's more than happy to come home telling me about how people have been flirting with her at work etc and when I point out I'm not very happy about it, it's a non issue. I've even caught her flirting with other men in the past yet she'll then deny it was anything more than just talking or being friendly etc.

I find it shocking that you allow yourself to be treated in this way.
Presumably it annoys you from the smiley you've used.

TrickyWicky wrote: »

Women can be very hypocritical about things like this and quite frankly, it takes two to tango. Why was this man looking to stray anyway? - Maybe his wife isn't keeping her wifely side of the marriage agreement.

Whatever has happened has happened. There is nothing the op can do about it now other than continue with the affair, break it off or break up the family to keep him for herself.

Yes she has sinned but even the church allows forgiveness so I think the bashers here should calm down a little - you've all got your faults too.

The truth is that the man has commitments to his wife and children.
The OP (presumably) doesn't have commitments to anyone else.

Angry Bear has said it all about the 'wifely side of the marriage agreement' comment.