a fool in love

susieq87

it doesnt sound to me like you're ready to let go so you probably wont. you probably dont care about his wife which is why it has gone on for so long. i think people who have affairs lack respect for marriage and their partner because the pain they cause is not of love, its a very selfish act.
all i have to say is: Welcome to karma cafe where you get served what you deserve!

Morglin

The only thing I would say is that the only one breaking his marriage vows, and the only one responsible for the wife, is, actually the man in this!

The OP must make her own choices, but I expect the man willingly went to bed with her, and wasn't dragged away from his wife, kicking and screaming. :whistle:

For whatever reason, he obviously likes to get his jollies elsewhere, and his wife's position and possible unhappiness in this is not really the responsibility of the OP.

Many people like going out with 'married others' so there is no commitment or expectations, but it's really up to the 'married others' to stay faithful.

Lin

Angry_Bear

Morglin wrote: »

The only thing I would say is that the only one breaking his marriage vows, and the only one responsible for the wife, is, actually the man in this!

The OP must make her own choices, but I expect the man willingly went to bed with her, and wasn't dragged away from his wife, kicking and screaming. :whistle:

For whatever reason, he obviously likes to get his jollies elsewhere, and his wife's position and possible unhappiness in this is not really the responsibility of the OP.

Many people like going out with 'married others' so there is no commitment or expectations, but it's really up to the 'married others' to stay faithful.

Lin

While you're right that it's the man that has responsibility to be faithful to his wife - being quite happy to ignore a "wife's position and possible unhappiness" would suggest someone wasn't a very nice person.

You don't have to have responsibility to someone to have empathy.

purpleshoes_2

thorsoak wrote: »

So what do you hope to achieve, by confessing on here? Receive absolution?

I too smell troll!

Why is every new user automatically regarded as being a troll?

Lots of people post on this section of the board about relationship issues, surely it's what its here for?

4given

susieq87 wrote: »

it doesnt sound to me like you're ready to let go so you probably wont. you probably dont care about his wife which is why it has gone on for so long. i think people who have affairs lack respect for marriage and their partner because the pain they cause is not of love, its a very selfish act.
all i have to say is: Welcome to karma cafe where you get served what you deserve!

I do want to end it in fact i have taken the first step, not contacting him.I will delete all his emails and block his no.I'm going to find myself things to keep me busy so not to feel lonely

Pollycat

To the OP:
I'm curious about what has suddenly made you feel guilty.

4given wrote: »

I know it should only be" a fool," i never set out for this it just happened. I tried to end it at first but obviously he talked me round.I have suddenly started to feel guilty and want to do the right thing.

You say here it's because of his children:

4given wrote: »

Thank you for your reply, I think it's the thought of his kids that is making me feel guilty.I wish I had been wiser but like the title says i'm a fool

but why didn't you think of his children before you started out on this affair?

4given

purpleshoes wrote: »

Why is every new user automatically regarded as being a troll?

Lots of people post on this section of the board about relationship issues, surely it's what its here for?

thank u , i just wanted to talk to someone as my friends will say "we told u so " that's why i posted here

Pollycat

4given wrote: »

thank u , i just wanted to talk to someone as my friends will say "we told u so " that's why i posted here

Pity you didn't listen to your friends right at the start.

4given

Pollycat wrote: »

To the OP:
I'm curious about what has suddenly made you feel guilty.




You say here it's because of his children:



but why didn't you think of his children before you started out on this affair?

I have been thinking lately that its not fair to his children and how devastating they would be if they found out,I have always felt guilty but i ignore the feeling now i have decided i need to do the right thing.I accept all the blame i get and am just grateful the wife does not know

hazyjo

Was going to comment, but all seems to be done and dusted now.

Come back if you 'can't keep your hands off each other' and go back for more. I have plenty to add!

Jx