Controlling MIL

continualdiamond

You'll probably never do anything right, that's the conclusion I have reached.

A few months ago we had to go to London to do my passport (Aussie one) and we asked my inlaws to look after our daughter. At 1st they agreed but then suddenly said no, that looking after her for a whole day when she was so tiny (maybe 6mths at this point as she's 8mths now) they couldn't face doing.

So any way off the 3 of us went to London and MIL came round to let the dog out a few times for us. Once we got home our kitchen had been re organised and I mean like the kettle, toaster, canisters, blender all moved to different locations.

I thought that was annoying enough but then we found a 4 page letter telling us how she felt about loads of things. Since then I have not held a proper conversation with her and when I see their # come up on the phone I pass it to my hubby. She thought it was okay to describe my relationship with them as being 'doomed' from the start all because hubby and I met online (I moved here from Australia in 2003).

I've never had a close relationship with my in laws but until recently I thought it was ok. Now I'm just not at all bothered how often I see them, for my daughters sake I will keep the peace but that is purely the only reason.

Person_one

Bennifred wrote: »

I am reading this thread keenly so that I will not be the MIL from hell - I have three sons in their twenties. It took me ages to "train" (:D) their father in the domestic arts and I was determined that I wasn't going to be the household slave so as soon as they were old enough they were taught to cook, clean, iron etc. This all caused friction with my own MIL when she came to stay - she'd take over if she saw one of them doing a chore, tutting and glaring at me. I'd smile sweetly and say merrily that their wives would thank me one day, lol!

I'll probably make different mistakes........:(

How many men these days move straight from their parents' house to their marital home/living with a partner anyway? Who's to say they'll even have wives at all! Ridiculous attitude in this day and age.

nickj_2

if she does come round say you've cooked something from her recipe book but make sure it tastes rank

Seanymph

hah - this just reminded me of a MIL who visited with someone I lived with forever ago.

she stayed overnight once (no idea why, can't remember).

When I got back she told me it was disgusting behind my cooker - she'd pulled it out and cleaned behind it!!! Behind the damned cooker!!!

poet123

Person_one wrote: »

How many men these days move straight from their parents' house to their marital home/living with a partner anyway? Who's to say they'll even have wives at all! Ridiculous attitude in this day and age.

Why is it ridiculous to ensure sons can cook, clean and iron?

They may live alone, with mates or in a relationship and all of the above would still be valuable skills.

I think the majority of men do marry or live as such with a woman, so again, I am at a loss to see what you find ridiculous.

Person_one

poet123 wrote: »

Why is it ridiculous to ensure sons can cook, clean and iron?

They may live alone, with mates or in a relationship and all of the above would still be valuable skills.

I think the majority of men do marry or live as such with a woman, so again, I am at a loss to see what you find ridiculous.

You've completely misunderstood.

Bennifred

poet123 wrote: »

Why is it ridiculous to ensure sons can cook, clean and iron?

They may live alone, with mates or in a relationship and all of the above would still be valuable skills.

I think the majority of men do marry or live as such with a woman, so again, I am at a loss to see what you find ridiculous.

Person_one wrote: »

You've completely misunderstood.

I took Person_one's post to mean that my MIL's attitude was ridiculous - I hope so, anyway!

poet123

Person_one wrote: »

You've completely misunderstood.

Have I? Ooops, sorry, I have had a long and trying day, apologies.:D

thorsoak

As the mother of three sons, can I say just how shocked I am at this thread. Shocked that the mother of the male should feel it necessary to send cookery books and to remind the female to iron her son's shirts.

The mother of the male has failed absolutely in her upbringing of her son: she should have taught him to cook and not only to iron but to wash his flippin' shirts!

I started teaching all my children all household tasks by the time they were 11.

pollypenny

My MIL bought me a cookery book, perhaps an acknowledgement that she was a lousy cook!

I dread being seen as an interfering MIL, although it was difficult when we went to the USA to look after grandson for two months. DIL was a very dogmatic new mum, wanting to go by the book.

Ops boyfriend is the one who should tell his mother not to bring the dogs.