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Starbucks, Trainers and Cottages - Ohhh My!
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VeronicaMars
Posts: 181 Forumite
Hello, I am Veronica Mars 
Am I about to take the title for the longest post ever?!?! Let’s try…
So to start – I am NOT a newbie. :money:But time to put the past behind me, so I have a new name and a new diary. I have been in debt since 1st day of uni when the Bank of Scotland was at the orientation offering 0% overdrafts to students. After years of credit cards, balance transfers and then maxing those cards out; it was not until the credit stopped, the overdraft was maxed out and the balance transfers got taken away when I started to struggle. It took for things to get really really hard (and scarily bad :eek:) before I started trying to sort my debt in 2009 and here we are at 2014 and I’ve only just got to grips with it. With 3 light bulb moments, I like to think I took the scenic route… I even had savings at one point (they all got spent on a wedding – where I went spending CRAZY).
I was HORRIFIC with money. I was the definition of a spendaholic. Something I still struggle and slip up with. I will address that in later posts.
Now, I am a 30 year old woman, recently married (Mr Mars). No children. No pets. Both make me sad. But good things come to those who wait…hopefully :j. We live in an AMAZING rented house – I call it the Lodge House (that is not its name) but it was once a Lodge House and there is still a sign in our back garden. I dream to own my own house one day – but have the small issue of a deposit. We pay high rent as I have a deep and burning hatred of neighbours (VERY bad experiences). But I have never been happier in this home. I still gush sometimes when I think of how much I love it. 
That is how home should feel. :happyhear
Things I did bad – I had more than £14k on credit cards, a 2.5k overdraft and a job where I earned 10k a year. :eek: Do the maths. It was not good. I’d spend £100s on clothes in one go, easily £20 on coffee, lunches andsnacks in a day. £100’s at the supermarket on anything and everything. My ex told me I did not care who or what I spent money on, as long as I was getting to spend. He was correct. :rotfl:
I also blamed everyone for my debt – which I shouldn’t have. But I came to realise I was getting the mickey mouse taken out of me by SOME friends and family – extravagant gifts, paying for lunches, dinners, coffees, them not paying their way or asking for things that were 3 times the cost of what they got me. :mad: Only in the last year have I managed to rein this in when I cancelled Christmas presents (saving for our wedding) and cancelled all birthday presents with everyone except parents and anyone under 21. I am not the Grinch :snow_laug - I say cancel, they got a small token gift (or not so small). The good thing is they no longer expect anything and I no longer expect anything in return so it really is a gift not an obligation.
I think this was really my turning point. I don’t handle pressure or stress well and for years and years I submitted to the pressure and bought expensive flash presents or paid for coffees and I let it happen. I know I am to blame, and people do what they can get away with and they did get away with not paying and still sometimes try to. :mad:
How do I avoid this now? I buy nothing and therefore, I expect nothing. I pay MY way and I no longer am bitter and angry and blame others for my debt (well I’m still a little bit bitter, but this will pass now that I am not being taken for a fool year after year). People may think I am cheap but I am happy and genuinely do not care. I don’t spend every month worrying about a present for someone else unless I want to. :beer:
Things I did to be better? I cancelled my mobile contract (£25 a month) got a giffgaff sim card (£10 a month), I cancelled our cineworld passes (£32 a month) and got Lovefilm Post & Netflix (£12 a month), I went from daily to monthly contact lenses (£22 a month to £10 a month), I changed broadband providers (£35 to £16), I started walking to/from work (3 miles), we got rid of 1 car, I cut down drastically on Starbucks (2 a day habit), I stopped buying breakfast AND lunch at work, and quit fad diets and just started eating normally. :T
DEBT & SAVINGS: I now only have 2 credit cards, both on 0% - about 4.5k in total. I set up standing orders of £150 to each of them. One runs out in 4 months and one runs out in about 9 months. We have been saving since the wedding, we have money left over from the wedding and we have cash gifts giving us a nice total of 5k of savings towards a house one day! I would clear the credit cards but I’ve already paid the fees on them, so would rather pay monthly direct debits and the money sits in our account and earn interest than clear them early. Then when the 0% runs out, I will transfer any residual over from savings. :money:
Due to previously being a spendaholic, I now want to becomemore frugal and less wasteful. I am the most unorganised person you will meet and this is something I am extremely keen to address in 2014. I have recently confused frugal with hoarding so I am starting to gut my house and de-clutterand will eventually start binning my “scabby clothes” and have a slick, good quality wardrobe. I also had pretty bad taste – where I bought “bargains”instead of the clothes I would actually wear. So again would like to start getting rid of that and replacing with nice, wearable clothes. From the sales, of course.
We spend A LOT on food – probably the main thing we need to look at. I want to make my own wine, take in my own lunches, make my own soup, learn to forage, make my own jams/chutneys, make my own treats, learn to sew and knit and learn to make things for the home. You name it, I want to do it – or at least try!
I currently have set us a £50 budget a week – that includes all takeaways and dinners as well as weekly & top up shops. This may seem a lot to some, but for us this is a BIG cut already. Being realistic that we are not going to become money fabulous overnight! And I need to learn to cook better… :cool:
The dream – a bungalow/cottage out in the countryish (not too far from city). Where I can one day have ex battery chickens out the back and a little veggie plot. I can go running in the country. And wear my fab wellies during the day, but close enough to city that I can wear my fab frocks at night. We are also looking to move abroad for a couple of years. Ideally I will have the cottage abroad…but who knows.
Mr Mars does not believe in waiting until we are 60 to start living and I agree. So I will need to find a balance between planning ahead and living for the moment! We both have decent salaries and since we have got married, we club our money together and EVERYTHING is paid from the joint account. Joint account covers all bills, petrol and food and joint presents and adhoc bills. Then we have given ourselves a generous £500 EACH as pocket money :eek:. I can hear the shock and gasps - this is to cover any holidays for the year, weekends away, individual expenses (mobile phones etc) and also a laptop we purchased that comes out of our pocket money. I’m trying to be realistic. The remainder from our salaries goes to savings.
I think this has been the first time in either of our lives that we have both worked to a budget that was not enforced by debt. It is a struggle, changing my way of life since I was 18. But this is how normal people live. Where, when they cannot afford something they do not just put it on a credit card and hope for the best. They SAVE for things. And BUDGET. :eek:
We both have hobbies and like to go away. I feel the “pocket money” is the best plan. We get the same and OH is not a money saver so giving him a good budget each month will start making him think about how and where he spends his money – already he has started taking in lunches & snacks every day as he does not want his pocket money going on that when we have food from the joint account.
So wish me luck! I could go into sooooo much more detail butI shall do that in later posts!
I also have a blog for this new stage of my money journey –I have only started posting and am trying out frugal or DIY ideas. I will also post about the general nonsense thoughts that occupy my mind :j :
http://www.lifeatthelodgehouse.blogspot.co.uk/
xoxo
Am I about to take the title for the longest post ever?!?! Let’s try…
So to start – I am NOT a newbie. :money:But time to put the past behind me, so I have a new name and a new diary. I have been in debt since 1st day of uni when the Bank of Scotland was at the orientation offering 0% overdrafts to students. After years of credit cards, balance transfers and then maxing those cards out; it was not until the credit stopped, the overdraft was maxed out and the balance transfers got taken away when I started to struggle. It took for things to get really really hard (and scarily bad :eek:) before I started trying to sort my debt in 2009 and here we are at 2014 and I’ve only just got to grips with it. With 3 light bulb moments, I like to think I took the scenic route… I even had savings at one point (they all got spent on a wedding – where I went spending CRAZY).
I was HORRIFIC with money. I was the definition of a spendaholic. Something I still struggle and slip up with. I will address that in later posts.
Now, I am a 30 year old woman, recently married (Mr Mars). No children. No pets. Both make me sad.
But good things come to those who wait…hopefully :j. We live in an AMAZING rented house – I call it the Lodge House (that is not its name) but it was once a Lodge House and there is still a sign in our back garden. I dream to own my own house one day – but have the small issue of a deposit. We pay high rent as I have a deep and burning hatred of neighbours (VERY bad experiences). But I have never been happier in this home. I still gush sometimes when I think of how much I love it. That is how home should feel. :happyhearThings I did bad – I had more than £14k on credit cards, a 2.5k overdraft and a job where I earned 10k a year. :eek: Do the maths. It was not good. I’d spend £100s on clothes in one go, easily £20 on coffee, lunches andsnacks in a day. £100’s at the supermarket on anything and everything. My ex told me I did not care who or what I spent money on, as long as I was getting to spend. He was correct. :rotfl:
I also blamed everyone for my debt – which I shouldn’t have. But I came to realise I was getting the mickey mouse taken out of me by SOME friends and family – extravagant gifts, paying for lunches, dinners, coffees, them not paying their way or asking for things that were 3 times the cost of what they got me. :mad: Only in the last year have I managed to rein this in when I cancelled Christmas presents (saving for our wedding) and cancelled all birthday presents with everyone except parents and anyone under 21. I am not the Grinch :snow_laug - I say cancel, they got a small token gift (or not so small). The good thing is they no longer expect anything and I no longer expect anything in return so it really is a gift not an obligation.
I think this was really my turning point. I don’t handle pressure or stress well and for years and years I submitted to the pressure and bought expensive flash presents or paid for coffees and I let it happen. I know I am to blame, and people do what they can get away with and they did get away with not paying and still sometimes try to. :mad:
How do I avoid this now? I buy nothing and therefore, I expect nothing. I pay MY way and I no longer am bitter and angry and blame others for my debt (well I’m still a little bit bitter, but this will pass now that I am not being taken for a fool year after year). People may think I am cheap but I am happy and genuinely do not care. I don’t spend every month worrying about a present for someone else unless I want to. :beer:
Things I did to be better? I cancelled my mobile contract (£25 a month) got a giffgaff sim card (£10 a month), I cancelled our cineworld passes (£32 a month) and got Lovefilm Post & Netflix (£12 a month), I went from daily to monthly contact lenses (£22 a month to £10 a month), I changed broadband providers (£35 to £16), I started walking to/from work (3 miles), we got rid of 1 car, I cut down drastically on Starbucks (2 a day habit), I stopped buying breakfast AND lunch at work, and quit fad diets and just started eating normally. :T
DEBT & SAVINGS: I now only have 2 credit cards, both on 0% - about 4.5k in total. I set up standing orders of £150 to each of them. One runs out in 4 months and one runs out in about 9 months. We have been saving since the wedding, we have money left over from the wedding and we have cash gifts giving us a nice total of 5k of savings towards a house one day! I would clear the credit cards but I’ve already paid the fees on them, so would rather pay monthly direct debits and the money sits in our account and earn interest than clear them early. Then when the 0% runs out, I will transfer any residual over from savings. :money:
Due to previously being a spendaholic, I now want to becomemore frugal and less wasteful. I am the most unorganised person you will meet and this is something I am extremely keen to address in 2014. I have recently confused frugal with hoarding so I am starting to gut my house and de-clutterand will eventually start binning my “scabby clothes” and have a slick, good quality wardrobe. I also had pretty bad taste – where I bought “bargains”instead of the clothes I would actually wear. So again would like to start getting rid of that and replacing with nice, wearable clothes. From the sales, of course.
We spend A LOT on food – probably the main thing we need to look at. I want to make my own wine, take in my own lunches, make my own soup, learn to forage, make my own jams/chutneys, make my own treats, learn to sew and knit and learn to make things for the home. You name it, I want to do it – or at least try!
I currently have set us a £50 budget a week – that includes all takeaways and dinners as well as weekly & top up shops. This may seem a lot to some, but for us this is a BIG cut already. Being realistic that we are not going to become money fabulous overnight! And I need to learn to cook better… :cool:
The dream – a bungalow/cottage out in the countryish (not too far from city). Where I can one day have ex battery chickens out the back and a little veggie plot. I can go running in the country. And wear my fab wellies during the day, but close enough to city that I can wear my fab frocks at night. We are also looking to move abroad for a couple of years. Ideally I will have the cottage abroad…but who knows.
Mr Mars does not believe in waiting until we are 60 to start living and I agree. So I will need to find a balance between planning ahead and living for the moment! We both have decent salaries and since we have got married, we club our money together and EVERYTHING is paid from the joint account. Joint account covers all bills, petrol and food and joint presents and adhoc bills. Then we have given ourselves a generous £500 EACH as pocket money :eek:. I can hear the shock and gasps - this is to cover any holidays for the year, weekends away, individual expenses (mobile phones etc) and also a laptop we purchased that comes out of our pocket money. I’m trying to be realistic. The remainder from our salaries goes to savings.
I think this has been the first time in either of our lives that we have both worked to a budget that was not enforced by debt. It is a struggle, changing my way of life since I was 18. But this is how normal people live. Where, when they cannot afford something they do not just put it on a credit card and hope for the best. They SAVE for things. And BUDGET. :eek:
We both have hobbies and like to go away. I feel the “pocket money” is the best plan. We get the same and OH is not a money saver so giving him a good budget each month will start making him think about how and where he spends his money – already he has started taking in lunches & snacks every day as he does not want his pocket money going on that when we have food from the joint account.
So wish me luck! I could go into sooooo much more detail butI shall do that in later posts!
I also have a blog for this new stage of my money journey –I have only started posting and am trying out frugal or DIY ideas. I will also post about the general nonsense thoughts that occupy my mind :j :
http://www.lifeatthelodgehouse.blogspot.co.uk/
xoxo
Originally debt free 27th November 2014 :T
Mortgage July 2016 - £175,295.00 | Sept 2017 - £167,350.00 | Sept 2018 - £162,926.00
Mortgage July 2016 - £175,295.00 | Sept 2017 - £167,350.00 | Sept 2018 - £162,926.00
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Comments
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Today, after my huge post I did a Noddles credit check!
The only plus from wasting 12 years of my life in debt is I never missed any credit card payments so I am rated 5/5! Every cloud and all
Also found out I am still linked to my ex from 6 years ago - eek! Can't get rid of that guy! Ha!! So submitted a dispute thing. As I have no bank accs or anything with him so it must be because we had that account once!
I've got a hard enough time trying to reign in Mr Mars and his spending never mind attaching an ex to my credit file!!!
Really glad I checked it. I will give it a few weeks then pay the £4 to check experience and the other one... I cannot remember its name!
xoxoOriginally debt free 27th November 2014 :T
Mortgage July 2016 - £175,295.00 | Sept 2017 - £167,350.00 | Sept 2018 - £162,926.000 -
Happy shiny new diary
I am a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Mortgage Free Wannabe & Local Money Saving Scotland & Disability Money Matters. If you need any help on those boards, do let me know.Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any post you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button , or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own & not the official line of Money Saving Expert.
Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/14.**Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** MFW. Finally mortgage free O2/ 2021****
"A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of" Jane Austen in Mansfield Park.
***Fall down seven times,stand up eight*** ~~Japanese proverb. ***Keep plodding*** Out of debt, out of danger. ***Be the difference.***
One debt remaining. Home improvement loan.0 -
Thaaaaaaaank you Beanielou!
I have spent the evening researching blinking heaters! This weather is killing us!!! Torrential rain in June....can only mean that Armageddon is coming...or that I live in Scotland...
My super old old house drys NOTHING but it's too hot to put heating on AND the wet rain means I can't put anything outside! :wall:
I got an electric blanket with Mr T points (yet to do a blog post on this) and it has helped basically not put the heating on. I am in love - how did it take me to 30 to find out about electric blankets!!!!
I'm now thinking if i just purchased a small heater that will help with the clothes drying and also give that wee boost in the winter when I don't want the whole house heated just the living room etc...
Hmmmmm heating/clothes drying decisions... I wish I had more interesting decisions...
Thankfully I am pondering over my precious Red Bush tea :coffee: and some Terry's Chocolate Orange :EasterBun so it's not TOO bad :rotfl:Originally debt free 27th November 2014 :T
Mortgage July 2016 - £175,295.00 | Sept 2017 - £167,350.00 | Sept 2018 - £162,926.000 -
Hi Veronica, have you thought about getting a dehumidifier. My house is an old cottage and I think one would really help especially in drying the clothes on damp days. They say that when your air is dehumidified it warms quicker so saves heating. I've been after one for ages but keep missing eBay bargains. OSWL (start 13st) by 30Jun20 6/10
£1/day Xmas'20-62 £214/£366 saved
Grocery Challenge Jun £742/£320 spentHomeowner wannabe by July 2020 - WooHoo!!
Starter Emergency Fund £1000/£1000 saved0 -
supersaver1000 wrote: »Hi Veronica, have you thought about getting a dehumidifier. My house is an old cottage and I think one would really help especially in drying the clothes on damp days. They say that when your air is dehumidified it warms quicker so saves heating. I've been after one for ages but keep missing eBay bargains.
Love your opening post!
Was about to post suggesting a dehumidifier but have been beaten to it! Another one in an old house and I absolutely love our dehumidifiers - they make such a difference - drying clothes indoors, stopping mould etc.Sealed Pot Challenge - No. 117
Bank of Mum & Dad - £3150/£10,000 (£6850 to go) Bank of In Laws - £4600/£12,000 (£7400 to go)
MFW - MFD - [STRIKE]5 Apr 2029[/STRIKE] 5 June 2025 : AIM = NOV 2019 (back up aim = MAR 2023)0 -
Hi Supersaver100 andEchoDelta :wave: ,
I absolutely did not even consider a de-humidifier – which seems quite silly when I think about it.
We have had problems with mould, condensation and just general dampness so a de-humidifier is exactly what we would need. The mould was on my precious, precious shoes. I did the blood-curdling scream - Mr Mars thought I had witnessed a horrific murder, I feel in a way I had…
Need to do something, though, as we decided to put the heating on tonight to try and get some clothes dry – probably will make the damp, condensation and mould problems even worse!!!
Iron also broke this morning – it just died. Lights went off, heat went off and no-one was home. :eek:
We kind of need one of them today so that will be an argos lunchtime trip…
Right, now I’m off to research de-humidifiers…and Irons…
I should change my diary title to “Irons, Heaters and De-humidifiers! Ohhh my!”
xoxoOriginally debt free 27th November 2014 :T
Mortgage July 2016 - £175,295.00 | Sept 2017 - £167,350.00 | Sept 2018 - £162,926.000 -
Check the fuse in your iron , Might be a simple fix Its just a bad day, Not a bad life .. :cool:0
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I wanted to buy an Ebac 2650e (I sound like the train spotter of dehumidifiers here - apols to any trainspotters who may read this) but can't bring myself to part with the almost £200. I've got a bid in on a slightly used home base one at the moment ( they are only £100 new anyway). Not so long ago I would have just rushed out and bought the best model but I value the time that was spent earning the money more these days
Good luck with the iron purchase too - mine has started dripping put rustys water sporadically but I'm making it last as long as poss.
I'll check back to see your choices. (unless of course. It's your fuse).
ps there's an article online about how putting your heating on for very short periods makes condensation worse. And they recommend keeping your heating on for a while after you go out to get rid of the condense. So it's better to have it on for one long spell rather than a short and a long. I think a dehumidifier is a good idea, hope I win the auction this time.OSWL (start 13st) by 30Jun20 6/10
£1/day Xmas'20-62 £214/£366 saved
Grocery Challenge Jun £742/£320 spentHomeowner wannabe by July 2020 - WooHoo!!
Starter Emergency Fund £1000/£1000 saved0 -
Subscribed :P
Good luck on the iron hunt - nothing worse when things break when you need them.0 -
Good luck - have subscribed. Have you thought about putting up a SOA? Some people on here are great at cutting costs.Mortgage March 2013: [STRIKE]£55,956 [/STRIKE]£38,500 (aim to pay off by 2020)
Overpay aim 2013: £9,974/ £5,000 :T:T:T
Overpay aim 2014: £3,800/£12,000
Kitchen and curtain fund: €1,000 / €4,000
Emergency fund: €1,000 / €2,0000
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