Just needed to be heard for a little while

Waves_and_Smiles

It is perfectly normal for children who had imaginary friends, oyster. It couldn't be more normal! In my case it went to the end of the spectrum and I developed MPD but even in children with no abuse in their lives and very healthy upbringings once they have the ability to have imaginary friends it never goes away. Not all children have an imagination to that extent or have never felt lonely/bored/been that much into fantasy, etc enough but once your mind develops the ability it is there for life. My therapist had an imaginary friend who grew with her since childhood and you couldn't find someone more stable. I see it as something I actually quite like even in my case where it is extreme. I like having people with me and only have to 'look inside' to find them. I think that I would be far lonelier given my way of life without them.

Whitewing, you know how you remember something that happened? Like taking DD to the park for example. In your mind you see the park, see DD playing and remember the conversations you have had with her. So you might see DD jumping out and saying "Boo!" It is no different for me when I look into the inside world but I don't control what happens or what is said. It isn't a memory, it is happening right now. So I see the people in my mind and see what they do and hear what they say but I have no idea what either might be.

I don't see them outside of myself, if I see people sitting in the chair next to me that is a schizophrenia hallucination and entirely different. Everything is seen and heard within my mind just as one might recall a memory.

The only thing that diagnoses me with MPD rather than ordinary imaginary friends is that they can take over the body and remember things that I can't. It is exactly the same in principal to anyone with imaginary friends, mine are just more extreme and were invented as a way to survive (notice I say the body instead of my body. I consider myself to share it with others, after all they did take over for 9 months. They have probably done so more often and I am just not aware of it).

oystercatcher

I don't 'see' the people but I know what they look like . I know they aren't hallucinations I guess because I can control them, I can even 'rerun scenes ' if that makes sense so the 'story' can change direction. It's a bit like reading a book but inside my head. I have always read a lot, we didn't have a TV when I was a child (BAD for you !! ) so I would read book after book and when I couldn't read I would imagine stories and I would be there along with my imaginary family !

One of my boys had imaginary friends when he was 2 or 3 and would tell me very long complicated stories about them . I wonder if he would admit if he still has them now he is 25 ?? Interesting thought !

Waves_and_Smiles

Most adults don't admit that they have them because adults don't talk about these things. But you can bet that if they had imaginary friends as a child that they pop into their thoughts from time to time. It is far more common than people realise, at the least it is a way of self-comforting. It is also quite fun to have others that you can play out stories with.

oystercatcher

We crossed replies WaS. I'm so glad you said I'm normal sometimes I wonder but apart from being horribly depressed and/or anxious at times I've managed a reasonably normal life so can't be too unusual. I think it has to be an advantage to have the ability to amuse oneself by imagining things .

Waves_and_Smiles

It honestly is totally normal, if my therapist had an imaginary friend and was the epitome of stable you can be assured of that. You have just retained a vivid imagination which is a good thing! Lots of adults have them but never tell anyone because we get all embarrassed when we get older about things like that. I think that is a shame, it means so many people think that they're odd when chances are they know many others with imaginary friends, too. I have told a couple of people that I have MPD and got panicked replies back asking if they have it, too because they have imaginary friends. No, they don't have it but the lack of talking about it makes them think the worse. Not that I see my MPD as a bad thing, I quite like it. As you say oyster, the difference is that you can change the stories, I can't and can only watch them play out. That is a big difference. One of the simplest ways to describe MPD is it is imaginary friends who take on a life of their own and can think for themselves (but that sounds a bit like something out of a horror movie so maybe not. It's mainly a good thing, honest!).

oystercatcher

It would be incredibly embarrassing to admit what goes on in one's imgination. Mostly very childish in my case
There's something very reassuring about being able to rewrite the story , as of course one can't in real life but it is probably a way of rehearsing situations, or even coping with awful situations retrospectively if you can go through them repeatedly until the right ending happens...if only life was like that !!

seven-day-weekend

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Thank you, LIR. These are things I can;t have empathy for and I rely on putting myself in another persons shoes constantly to understand points of view. I can't get my heart or head around this because my family were so different, I admit that I can't grasp some family dynamics. If someone has hurt me I walk away, it is hard for me to grasp why someone not only stays but then brushes it all to one side and puts themselves out to help someone when they have had so much evidence that it will come back to bite them again and the only reasoning seems to be that they are family.

But I don't expect that you would walk away from WaSp if he hurt you, would you? Because you love him and you would want to give him another chance. Maybe that is how he feels about his brother?

Waves_and_Smiles

Oh, there is oyster, a lot of the time imaginary friends in adulthood are there to offer comfort and a break from the real world stresses. There is nothing wrong with it at all, it is actually a really healthy coping strategy and much better than turning to things that make you drunk/make you high/make you fat, etc instead

That is very true, SDW, thank you that helps me put things in perspective. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't see WaSp being hurt, I hate when he is and always want to fix it. But yes, you are right. It shows what a loving person WaSp is that he still tries to help, I wouldn't change that for the world.

jobbingmusician

I also suspect that there is something deeply psychodynamic going on here. I think most people are socialised to some extent to feel that their family unit is part of them, as well as them being part of the family unit. You remember what I was saying earlier about mothers' job being to teach their children about autonomy, and what they can and can't control? Another part of their job is to teach about separation - what is and what isn't me.

I believe that in this culture (and even more so in cultures like Japan) the group is seen as being part of the self, as well as the self being part of the group. So if your family misbehaves, it brings shame on YOU. I think this is partly what WaSP is experiencing, and of course it leads to denial and disbelief because people can't integrate themselves, the honourable person, with the person in their tribe who has behaved shamefully, even when they understand it intellectually.

lostinrates

I don't have imaginary friends as an adult ( I did as a child) but I do relive things and wish they'd played out differently and imagine how they could go/ could have gone.

With out imagination they'd be no phobia and less fear...because people couldn't imagine 'implausible' or remote scenarios. There would also be less invention or discovery Nd progress...because people would find it hard to see how change could be better, or why art had value and so on and so on.


I really believe imagination is a thing that is ultimate. I doubt many adults haven't sung into a hairbrush at least once, pretending its a microphone, and I always say I&'don't rather have a glass bowl for my mixer to facilitate my fantasy while I am cooking that I am a tv chef.....as it is I even have to imagine my meal bowl is silver....but hey, I have a mixer. I used to have to pretend without the mixer, so I'm getting closer;)


Imagination is a powerful thing. Not always good, but when its good its good. I always wonder how those people who seem to lack that extra pinch of what a very close friend of mine would call ' the ridiculous' but which encompasses imagination and sense of humour and a joy of glitter or fresh spring buds or something...how do those people cope.......I bet they could do with an imaginary friend to help show the silver linings and highlight the ridiculous for them.