Just needed to be heard for a little while

Waves_and_Smiles

Please feel free to post away about anything like that, chances are I have seen them already, whitewing or if not I will do very soon. I wish that I didn't react this way but I have ever since being a child. It is why I trained in HIV/AIDS therapy, I went through the same scenario's of people facing death again and again, trying to support them with my heart and soul and put right what I felt had led to my parents deaths. Of course, it never eased the guilt because I cannot change the past. It wasn't helped by family telling me that I murdered both of them, no one actually said how I had managed this but just told me that they had died because of my neglect. Logically, I know that isn't true, I missed a lot of schooling caring for them, I was running the household at 13 and did everything I could for them medically, emotionally I still have so much guilt.

I am so glad your suicidal thoughts are less and if this thread has helped towards that then I am overjoyed! It really has helped me so much, I don't feel lonely anymore now and I feel accepted which is a brand new feeling. I love that I don't have to hide myself here.

And then I find myself giggling at GitDog. I would still adopt him given half the chance!

Sounds exciting, Pyxis, you must have been so tired, though. Nope, it is not my fault, everyone here says it isn't, so it isn't and I am not that powerful (now I have to keep reminding myself of that).

elsien

Glad to hear it WaS because hiding yourself would be such a waste of a thoughtful, funny, insightful personality.

System

Pyxis, seems to still be going well. Still in pretty much constant contact, texts and skype. It's very early days but there is something there (on both sides). Hopefully he's coming up on my birthday :j so we shall see how things progress

p.s love the term "beau" may have to use that!

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, thank you, elsien. I am not a patch on the abilities of GitDog, though! Hearing about him always makes me grin from ear to ear.

Beau is very romantic! Have a wonderful birthday, MU!

whitewing

WaS, from WikiHow's How to Eliminate Guilt:

Ask yourself, "Is there anything I can do to make this situation better right now?"

I know you have had counselling before, but I am wonder if CBT again will help you now in your new life as WaS. I know CBT helped enormously with your spider phobia. I am wondering if you could have some purely to deal with the guilt element and also the not liking being looked at. Those seem to be the most crippling and also the ones that could make life different for WaSp too.

I like having a Beau on the thread too, MU.

whitewing

Wow, 94K views, WaS!

Pyxis

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

p.s love the term "beau" may have to use that!

Remember, if he's a beau, that makes you a belle!

(Not to be confused with Bow Bells, unless you're a true cockney!)

jobbingmusician

Just popping in. Mega stressed - the builders are coming in a week, and we have to empty the whole ground floor and move out. I won't be around much this week for obvious reasons.....

whitewing

JM, it will all be worth the hassle. Have an adventurous time!

DUKE

Thanks for the cookie codemonkey :-)''' Delish!

Well done on making that call! I don't always like answering the phone, or sometimes I just look to see who it is & then get stressed as I didn't answer.

Good Luck JM, everything will soon be looking lovely.

It wasn't your fault WaS!

I too can understand that someone wants to stop chemo LIR, it's absolutely vile!!!!! I'm a really positive person & believe that everything I do in life is an experience, even chemo. However, after a few doses you don't really want any more, & every dose gets worse. I'd think very carefully before having it again, as it effects you long after.

I'm off to hospital tomorrow at 7am, everything crossed for myself here. Hopefully if there's anything there then they'll take it away & I'll be none the wiser. xxx