Just needed to be heard for a little while

lostinrates

Code monkey, you're human. Is this other person particularly judgemental? If you feel you made a particularly bad call can you make amends with a 'I'm sorry I made the wrong call, can I buy you a coffee to apologise?'

codemonkey

lostinrates wrote: »

Code monkey, you're human. Is this other person particularly judgemental? If you feel you made a particularly bad call can you make amends with a 'I'm sorry I made the wrong call, can I buy you a coffee to apologise?'

Maybe a penguin. Just in case....




It's kind of an unspoken thing - I thought someone liked me and now I think they actually don't like me at all - and the other person is probably unaware of any of my thoughts and I'm just over-analysing everything as usual and they don't actually have any opinion of me. :rotfl: It feels a bit primary school to ask if they want to be my friend or not.

Also, it's not the kind of workplace where people go out for coffee. I don't think there actually is a coffee place nearby. Me asking to go for coffee with someone would raise a few eyebrows, not least because there is some errm romantic history there from a long time ago. Also he's my line manager's line manager so she'd want to know why she wasn't invited too.

7 years ago this wouldn't have bothered me. Stupid anxiety!!

Dammit, is this a penguin? I can change it.

lostinrates

I think you are probably over thinking it code monkey . Like the rest of us are with our various worries.

Phone calls to day were mainly those ignoring our telephone preference service.

Edit: I'd say its a penguin if it bothers YOU. So don't change it. . But I don't see it as one. Worrying about what others think is a huge source of stress for most of us. I. So e cases its quite useful, we form rules that bind communities. But in otherways its not. I feel like daring you just to grin randomly and look into the distance or beam at anyone for just a second when you worry about what is being thought of you tomorrow instead of feeling bad/ wrong/ guilty/ ashamed / or what negative emotion you are feeling. The changes in dynamics, even if its someone other workers know, can be unsettling in a workspace, they have insecurities too.

I think you sound lovely btw. Its funny how we lose confidence isn't it?

codemonkey

lostinrates wrote: »

I think you are probably over thinking it code monkey . Like the rest of us are with our various worries.

Phone calls to day were mainly those ignoring our telephone preference service.

Thank you. Sometimes I just need someone to tell me that I'm overthinking.

Those are my favourite work calls as I can just put the phone down without having to do or say anything, although at home they irritate me because my parents are quite old and not in the best health so if the phone rings, I think the worst.

dibuzz

So many replies since this morning, love the one about the beach though WaS, I hope you have a lovely time when you go.

Waves_and_Smiles

That's exactly the kind of knots I tie myself in Codemonkey and then I hide a lot. You likely are over thinking it and it isn't really an issue to the other person at all, I know that doesn't help when you are in a panic but try to keep it in mind. Well done for not letting them get to you today, I really don't cliques at the best of times, I much prefer groups who welcome everyone. Keep wearing that jacket! I still have a black leather jacket from my student days. An acquaintance painted a beautiful fairy sitting on a toadstool on it in exchange for a bit of errr something you smoke! It always makes me feel 'cool' to wear it.

codemonkey

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

That's exactly the kind of knots I tie myself in Codemonkey and then I hide a lot. You likely are over thinking it and it isn't really an issue to the other person at all, I know that doesn't help when you are in a panic but try to keep it in mind. Well done for not letting them get to you today, I really don't cliques at the best of times, I much prefer groups who welcome everyone. Keep wearing that jacket! I still have a black leather jacket from my student days. An acquaintance painted a beautiful fairy sitting on a toadstool for it in exchange for a bit of errr something you smoke! It always makes me feel 'cool' to wear it.

That jacket sounds amazing WaS. I always wanted painted DMs, but my artwork looks like something a toddler would paint with his feet, and I didn't have any 'arty' friends. I have arty friends now, but no DMs. :rotfl:

Pyxis

WaS, I expect it will be too late at the beach for a candy floss and toffee apple?
Talking about looking at the Isle of Wight- years ago I had a very temporary job on the island, and I found the people there to be lovely! I really enjoyed my short time there!
I used to drive down to Portsmouth, park on the front, (for free!), and then get the hovercraft over to Ryde. One morning I was very early, so went into a cafe for a cuppa. There was a funfair nearby, and lots of film cameras. I asked about that, and it turned out they were filming the episode of Mr. Bean where he goes to a funfair and has an encounter with a baby in a pram!

Elsien, one of my dogs used to have what I called her 'full-moon days', when she'd go completely loopy. It didn't always coincide with a full moon, though. She had been spayed, but maybe there was a hormonal element to it. Has Gitdog been 'done'? If not, maybe he is getting a whiff of lady dog, but not really knowing what he's supposed to do about it!

codemonkey, gentle eye contact with a beam of a smile and a friendly 'hello' or 'hi there!' usually defuses a potentially embarrassing situation! Sometimes accompanied by a genuine enquiry about them, interested listening to the answer, and then an 'oh well, must get on, see you later!'

Forgot to say, WaS, I'm dying to know what's in the BUMs! How nosy is that! And whether your passport turns up!

aneres

I know I only pop on this thread every now and then but I want you all to know that I read every post and the support here is fantastic.

Having a bad night tonight, just had to get up so as not disturb DH as he has work tomorrow, although I know if he knew I was sat here balling my eyes out he would be up in an instant.

Sorry I'm just rambling, I don't really know what to say.

You know when you think you're doing so well and then something you've not thought about in ages creeps up to bite you on the a@@e.

Pyxis

Yes, aneres, I know that feeling. It's horrible. Usually follows a spell when you've been on even keel for a while, and quite enjoying said same, and then Wham!

Sorry you're feeling bad. It is so much worse at night, isn't it? One reason why I have a TV in the bedroom, as turning it on helps to stop all the thoughts whizzing around. But of course you can't do that with hubby in the room!