Just needed to be heard for a little while

Waves_and_Smiles

Quick one before I do the rest of the replies, Duke, does Harry ever talk to them? He can try arguing back, sometimes that can change what they say. When I was hearing the voices saying what Harry hears once I understood that they were saying that purely to hurt me and that the reasons that they were saying it was because it was THE worse thing I could ever imagine myself doing I started to fight back and calmly told them why they wanted me to think it and why I wouldn't listen. Slowly they stopped mentioning because that didn't work (and psychologically because I had convinced my subconscious that it would never happen).

Keep reassuring Harry that you know he would never do that, give him reasons why you believe it. Keep very calm, talk matter of factly neither accepting or denying that they are there. If he becomes convinced that it is ridiculous the voices will change to something else. Also, he needs to become proactive. Swear at them, tell them to stop, imagine them trapped in a lead box where they can't get out. I use a lot of imagery with the voices as I am very visual, I see them as whirling smoke and place that smoke into an underground bunker, then I close nuclear-proof doors on it and imagine cement on top and a forest planted on top of that. They cannot get out so cannot hurt me. This may not work for Harry but if he can find a way to capture them and lock them away from himself in his mind it should help.

whitewing

I probably haven't picked up all the info in the thread about Harry.

You don't have to answer this, but was he abused at all? I'm only thinking that maybe he subconsciously feels guilty for not stopping his abuser or for his abuser attacking someone after him, and it is all getting caught up in this Rolf Harris thing.

Waves_and_Smiles

That was why the voices told me that I was an abuser whitewing. It was the most horrific thing that I had experienced so they turned it around and told me that I wanted to abuse children. I carried a lot of guilt for it for a long time (as most people who have been abused do) and had all the shame of wondering if it was my fault, why didn't I tell anyone until I was 16? Did I make it happen? Did it mean I would do it, too? They used that to attack me because it was what hurt the most but once I lost a lot of the self-blame they gradually stopped saying it because it didn't upset me as much me anymore.

dibuzz

I've tried a couple of guided meditation apps on my kindle, listening to music, reading until my eyes won't stay open and decorating the whole house in my mind but nothing works at the moment.

lostinrates

dibuzz wrote: »

I've tried a couple of guided meditation apps on my kindle, listening to music, reading until my eyes won't stay open and decorating the whole house in my mind but nothing works at the moment.

Can you go to bed now? Just relax, put some lavender oil on a tissue , do something lovely and replacing for yourself, a nice bath, some moisturiser on your body, really take care of your self, even make your bed with fresh sheets?

Then just enjoy living there, in a clean, beautifully scented place, undisturbed. And know that if you cannot sleep at least your body can rest and recover for now and you will allow your self to do that and put no pressure on yourself for more for now?


Would you like a link to the sleep thing I'm finding good on you tube? Its a male voice, some people prefer a female voice. Different ones are differently effective for different people.

dibuzz

Yes the link would be useful, I will try anything.
I always use lavender oil in the bath and a lavender scented room spray. The sheets were changed yesterday, I love that feeling when you get in a clean bed the first time.
I'm just waiting for my daughter to get in for her tea then will be off to bed, I'm rarely up past 8pm these days.

Waves_and_Smiles

Had my coffee and I am back!

Dibuzz, this is so awful. Can you see your doctor before the 4 weeks is up? I am worried about what this is doing to you physically as well as mentally. Do try to at least lie down and relax your body, it can help just to rest your muscles even if you can't sleep.

LIR, So glad the medication is doing so well! You were very lucky to get an AD that worked first go, it usually takes a few attempts to find the right one. I really hope that it continues to work well for you, they can really make such a difference even if you only need them for a short while.

What you said about your relative with mental illness resonated with me. My mother was seen by everyone as a quiet, shy and private person. She was always polite to neighbours for example, a little reserved but always pleasant. She was completely different to me but no one would have ever believed me. Also the very people she was so polite to she would then describe as demons and devils but felt she was tricking them by not revealing that she knew what they really were. I saw the truth and it was nothing like the person that she portrayed.

Yay! I have a day Pyxis! That did make me smile. I have thought of keeping a copy of this thread as I would hate to lose it now. Also, although I joke about linking the DWP to it I could probably use bits of it to explain my days to them. I would hate to lose everyone's replies as reading them back gives me a lot of comfort so I do need to get around to keeping a copy.

Thank you aneres, I do try to reply to everyone. I confess I project a lot and think how I would feel if I was ignored and hate to do it to other people. Mind you, not everyone is as much of an insecure wreck as me so people probably don't mind!

Thank you Haybel, I am so glad that you feel welcome. Of course you can use my phrase. I am very careful about trying not to make people feel uncomfortable and hugs can make some people feel awkward so I have always offered both until I am sure what someone prefers.

Welcome back JM! You described me in your paragraph! I beat myself up daily as you have noticed. I have always been empathic to others even before mental illness. There used to be a child's TV show where a mouse would wave goodbye at the end, my parents dreaded it because I would become distraught everytime. Another memorable occasion was my dad buying me sweets in the shape of deer. I totally refused to eat them or let anyone else do so and ended up in floods of tears at the thought so they stayed in a box for 2 years. My parents also used to dread me seeing a child fall over when we are out, I would immediately burst into tears and sob that they were hurt and want to cuddle them. This was all before I was 5.

In someways, I relate too much to other people and it sometimes causes me unnecessary pain when there actually isn't any. But I don't believe that I can change it, it is my personality and always has been. When psychiatrists inevitably ask me to say something good about myself I always reply that I am kind. It is the only good thing about myself that I am confident of.

I have been using the pugdrops, whitewing and they really help! I still panic putting them in but I am astounded at how different my eyes feel. I sort of thought everyone had dryish eyes that itched and felt grainy, apparently not! MIL is physically doing better but still insisting that she will never go out again. I really hope she changes her mind...

lostinrates

dibuzz wrote: »

Yes the link would be useful, I will try anything.
I always use lavender oil in the bath and a lavender scented room spray. The sheets were changed yesterday, I love that feeling when you get in a clean bed the first time.
I'm just waiting for my daughter to get in for her tea then will be off to bed, I'm rarely up past 8pm these days.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=yBlWOJgiyGg


( DH told be he says to wake up refreshed at the end. Its the only one I've never heard the end of yet, so apologies if you do, but DH heard him say it, then fell asleep ten minutes or so later. I find if I really throw myself into it and the imagery of the instruction its very effective for me.

I'd try the spoiling yourself too ( moisturiser, body cream, just something focused on you, luxury, relaxing and pleasure, something relating you to your body and that is caring for yourself)

Maybe try avoiding tv and Internet too from now till bed?

I am good at sleep hygiene because before this illness and sleeping a lot believe it or not I was insomniac, and sometimes get small bursts. I've developed really good strategies to deal with it that only fail for ME when I'm slack. I was also able to help DH who used to be nocturnal develop a more 'natural' sleep habit.

Good luck, if you don't sleep have a lovely long rest

lostinrates

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Had my coffee and I am back!

Dibuzz, this is so awful. Can you see your doctor before the 4 weeks is up? I am worried about what this is doing to you physically as well as mentally. Do try to at least lie down and relax your body, it can help just to rest your muscles even if you can't sleep.

LIR, So glad the medication is doing so well! You were very lucky to get an AD that worked first go, it usually takes a few attempts to find the right one. I really hope that it continues to work well for you, they can really make such a difference even if you only need them for a short while.
i know, I feel extremely blessed. And that they have helped so quickly. Things were very scary for a while. I had plans.
What you said about your relative with mental illness resonated with me. My mother was seen by everyone as a quiet, shy and private person. She was always polite to neighbours for example, a little reserved but always pleasant. She was completely different to me but no one would have ever believed me. Also the very people she was so polite to she would then describe as demons and devils but felt she was tricking them by not revealing that she knew what they really were. I saw the truth and it was nothing like the person that she portrayed.[COLOR="rgb(255, 0, 255)"]i think the truth is we are all human. Good, bad in all of us. Your mother did awful things, and the knowledge of that probably made her worse, because unlike you she could not plead innocence to any conscious or if she had them too, voices. There was abuse in my family too, and it leaves a legacy, beyond the generation it touched. The truth is, often our good and bad actions are sometimes driven by fear, luck as well as being god or poor moral choices. Whether we are mentally healthy or not. I think in some people with some mental health the good choices are compassionate because they are compassionate humans, as you seem to me to be. Sometimes its because they aren't future planning well or thinking about those closer to home who go without while their kind a ions benefit strangers!

Yay! I have a day Pyxis! That did make me smile. I have thought of keeping[/] a copy of this thread as I would hate to lose it now. Also, although I joke about linking the DWP to it I could probably use bits of it to explain my days to them. I would hate to lose everyone's replies as reading them back gives me a lot of comfort so I do need to get around to keeping a copy.

Thank you aneres, I do try to reply to everyone. I confess I project a lot and think how I would feel if I was ignored and hate to do it to other people. Mind you, not everyone is as much of an insecure wreck as me so people probably don't mind![COLOR="rgb(255, 0, 255)"]i think more people are more sensitive than they like to pretend. No, not every one expects a personal reply, but that you give them makes people feel you care. So it means something. [/COLOR]

Thank you Haybel, I am so glad that you feel welcome. Of course you can use my phrase. I am very careful about trying not to make people feel uncomfortable and hugs can make some people feel awkward so I have always offered both until I am sure what someone prefers.

Welcome back JM! You described me in your paragraph! I beat myself up daily as you have noticed. I have always been empathic to others even before mental illness. There used to be a child's TV show where a mouse would wave goodbye at the end, my parents dreaded it because I would become distraught everytime. Another memorable occasion was my dad buying me sweets in the shape of deer. I totally refused to eat them or let anyone else do so and ended up in floods of tears at the thought so they stayed in a box for 2 years. My parents also used to dread me seeing a child fall over when we are out, I would immediately burst into tears and sob that they were hurt and want to cuddle them. This was all before I was 5.

In someways, I relate too much to other people and it sometimes causes me unnecessary pain when there actually isn't any. But I don't believe that I can change it, it is my personality and always has been. When psychiatrists inevitably ask me to say something good about myself I always reply that I am kind. It is the only good thing about myself that I am confident of.


[COLOR="rgb(255, 0, 255)"][COLOR="rgb(255, 0, 255)"]You are kind. You are empathetic. You are welcoming. You are patient. I bet we can think of more? [/COLOR][/COLOR]


I have been using the pugdrops, whitewing and they really help! I still panic putting them in but I am astounded at how different my eyes feel. I sort of thought everyone had dryish eyes that itched and felt grainy, apparently not! MIL is physically doing better but still insisting that she will never go out again. I really hope she changes her mind...

I was thinking about you and out. Does your partner know any one rural who owns a field you could go into at night time to feel fresh air without seeing people?

whitewing

Just to change the subject, and a very personal question now. This is a post that can be safely ignored without comment if no one wants to dive in, especially given the histories of abuse on here. I apologise in advance if it stirs up unwanted feelings in anybody.

I was wondering what anyone does for contraceptives? My GP is suggesting the coil for me, partly because I am anaemic and periods become lighter. I really don't want another child, having had post natal depression twice. I seriously don't think I could go through that again. I know others on here have said they have made a decision not to have children. It is a topic that may be worth exploring at some point, if anyone does want to chip in.