Just needed to be heard for a little while

Waves_and_Smiles

I might actually print out my mini novel for my psychiatrist tomorrow if I can face the embarrassment. When he asks how I have been I can present him with that.

I have no idea why my mind chose a blind teenager as the focus, I have never known one and can't recall ever seeing the image of her before (the blind teenager who definitely isn't real and is just fiction. Unlike me who is real. I may say this a lot today).

dibuzz

That's an excellent idea, I'm sure he would find it fascinating.

You can spend the whole day saying you are real if it helps and as more people come on here I'm sure they will tell you too.

Pyxis

Good idea to print it out, WaS, I'm sure he'll find it useful.

Lost = not feeling great
Blind= not understanding why
Possibly?


On another topic.....
Has Pugliet learned not to stand guard at the fairy door?


And you are real, WaS! I am real, too! And Gitdog's emissions are, unfortunately, extremely real!
I hope Pugliet is, in contrast, more fragrant? You could spray him with some of your perfume!

Waves_and_Smiles

Hahahaha! I could have done with Gitdog here, I am sure his emissions would have been very grounding! Funny you should mention Sir Pugliet. I woke up today to find him positioned with his front paws on the keyboard! WaSp says he had been posting all day but he won't share his username!

That is actually possible for the delusion. If it wasn't happening to me I would find it a lot more fascinating, I am sure that there is material there for psychology students! I have no idea how my mind manages to find these imaginings that suddenly feel very real, interestingly the voices joined in and said the girl was dead and that I was responsible. So everything became caught up in the same idea. The only moment of total panic was when I felt that I had a psychic link with her, I know that is typical schizophrenia and it was alarming enough to jolt me out of it and wonder what on earth I was thinking.

Pyxis

The voices are, as usual, wrong! You're not responsible for anyone dying! On the contrary, you are helping loads of people on this thread! And you've helped loads of people in the past, too!

And remember how much Mr. Patrick liked you! :A

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, I do hope so. Yes, Mr Patrick liked me and he was very real. I seem to be defining my world between real and not real right now. Things are better on that front but I will have a small doubt for a while. I am due the morning dose of anti-psychotic in an hour which should really stop the bad thoughts. It may leave me burbling incoherently in the corner of the sofa however. I am already shuffling when I walk and slightly dizzy. I think for today I am staying right here with Sir Pugliet and not attempting anything.

Just for interests sake I find it really curious that I hear WaSp say Sir Pugliet has been posting and be totally fine and find it funny and not lose touch with reality. But then suddenly I'll have an odd thought and become totally confused. It isn't consistent at all.

Waves_and_Smiles

I am sure I can pull some positives out of this if I try.

1. I got through it. This is always positive.
2. I didn't email the Salvation Army. This would have been very embarrassing.
3. I didn't phone the police. Also would have been embarrassing and I very likely would have been taken to hospital considering I was distraught about a missing girl and had no details about her, not even a name or how I knew her (We have a psychic link would have definitely been an ambulance called and possibly the drug squad).
4. MIL wasn't distressed and WaSp got some sleep.
5. I managed my medication correctly at the right times and still didn't take the maximum dose.
6. I didn't hurt myself.
7. Someone might find the post about it useful and/or interesting.
8. I am real! And I almost believe it.

There. Some good things came out of it.

Pyxis

Yey!! WaS!! :T
8 positives! Brilliant!

Plus you found the daily 'noises' reassuring.
Plus you recognised the potential slide towards schizophrenia and you resisted it and didn't let it happen.
Plus you ignored the voices!
Plus you held onto the fact that the girl wasn't real.

And you ARE real! Believe it! I'm not typing this post to someone who isn't real!

whitewing

I found the post useful and interesting and I read every word of it. Aside from a medical point of view, I find your posts make it far easier for me to be kind and compassionate in everyday life by being aware that there may be much more going on behind the scenes. I think that is why I haven't been devastated by my phone being nicked - it doesn't feel personal against me; it is just someone else at a bad point in their life.

I think it would be well worth printing it out for the psychiatrist.

You are real and you are wonderful. You also kept in mind the safety of others who may be reading your posts. You did that quite naturally.

You didn't hurt yourself - that is a massive step forward. It is brilliant to read that!

I think it would have been fine if you had emailed the Sally Army and contacted the police. If nothing else, it again would have made more people aware of the kind of thinking that goes on in psychosis, and potentially help other sufferers. However, it was great that you were aware enough not to do it.

You are amazing!

Waves_and_Smiles

Very true, Pyxis! All in all it could have been worse, at least other worlds didn't happen, just an unknown person.

WaSp just got back and said you don't seem that bad. Can I poke him? with something pointy? I don't seem that bad now because I am floating on a little medication cloud! He should have seen me 5 hours ago! It's a good job that I am so grateful to see him (I am joking, I love him really).

Aww, thank you so much, whitewing, it makes my day when people say that my babbling helps them understand more. Somewhere in the middle of all of that I thought eeeek! I am writing about taking extra medication, no one must try that with medical supervision! If I had emailed or phoned anyone I would have hidden behind WaSp and got him to apologise for me today. I do think the police would have likely taken me to hospital though, mind you they may have thought I had taken some odd drug and I am not sure what the procedure is there.