Just needed to be heard for a little while

System

Sorry I feel asleep and wasn't around

You've done so well to get through this WaS and I am proud of you! And yes you are very very real and awesome.

Waves_and_Smiles

Aww, thank you,MU. No need to be sorry, I carried on writing (read babbling) anyway. I am pretty much convinced that I am real now and that the girl isn't. I still feel guilt when I think of her though, she really did seem so real at the time and I was desperate to help her.

lostinrates

You're real.

I think printing this off would be a good idea.

For your psychiatrist's benefit though, it would be worth highlighting your posts to save him picking them out. . Seeing the kind of difficult conversations you're handling might be useful though.

System

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Aww, thank you,MU. No need to be sorry, I carried on writing (read babbling) anyway. I am pretty much convinced that I am real now and that the girl isn't. I still feel guilt when I think of her though, she really did seem so real at the time and I was desperate to help her.

Try not to feel guilty (easier said than done I understand), she wasn't real so technically you shouldnt feel guilty for someone that doesn't exist if that makes any sense at all?

Waves_and_Smiles

Thank you LIR! I shall print off last nights ramblings at least and give them to him tomorrow. I am hoping that it shows that I can cope even though it is very hard rather than that I am a mess. There might even be something he can suggest to help next time.

On the subject of next time as soon as I have got tomorrow out of the way I will be asking everyone for help to put together a list of coping strategies for these times, please? I said I would do it after the near-catatonia episode at night and although this was different I was still flailing around trying to find a way to cope whilst waiting for the medication to work. I have to get more organised.

No, I shouldn't, Mu, you are right. I made her up, she was never real. I am going to keep needing to remind myself of that for a while.

System

Do keep reminding yourself if it helps

And will be more than heppy to help think of coping ideas!

Waves_and_Smiles

Thank you! Posting on here helps a lot but I need something physical to touch or smell or something to ground me so I feel more real (I have said the word real so many times that it is losing all meaning).

lostinrates

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Thank you LIR! I shall print off last nights ramblings at least and give them to him tomorrow. I am hoping that it shows that I can cope even though it is very hard rather than that I am a mess. There might even be something he can suggest to help next time.

On the subject of next time as soon as I have got tomorrow out of the way I will be asking everyone for help to put together a list of coping strategies for these times, please? I said I would do it after the near-catatonia episode at night and although this was different I was still flailing around trying to find a way to cope whilst waiting for the medication to work. I have to get more organised.

No, I shouldn't, Mu, you are right. I made her up, she was never real. I am going to keep needing to remind myself of that for a while.

Actually, I think the beginning to now shows an increase in confidence and positivity. I think its all worth showing. He can pop in the bin what's not interesting.

Waves_and_Smiles

That's very true. I sometimes read back over the thread and I definitely seem happier! I am not falling over myself apologising at ever post either which was common at the beginning. That is thanks to everyone here for being so lovely to me.

Pyxis

Yes, WaS, on this occasion a bit of pointy poking seems very appropriate!


How about getting a CRISIS BOX, to keep at the ready for these instances.
In it, you could put perfume, perhaps an essential oil like orange, some tactile things that have a meaning, perhaps an emery board, or a nice silk scarf?
Perhaps a photo of you with WaSp? And another with your best friend?
A letter from a friend?
Some hand cream? Maybe the act of creaming your hands might deflect some of the thoughts?
A photo of your fairy cakes?


Maybe we could do another 'certificate' thing, where we all certify that each of us is real, and that you are real, then we each 'sign' it! You can then print it off and put it in the box, so that if it is the wee small hours and no-one's awake, you can look at the 'certificate' and know that this thread is real!