Just needed to be heard for a little while

jobbingmusician

Just popping in to :hello: . I've been at a family party today (which was great but quite funny as it was a garden party and we ended up sitting under gazebos in the pouring rain eating a delicious meal) but have come back to find the thread as informative and helpful as ever Thank you to all who are sharing their experiences to help others!

Waves_and_Smiles

Exactly whitewing, although without a doubt everyone with mental illness should be treated as an individual labels can offer a little comfort as one of the scariest things is not knowing what is wrong with you and that applies to physical and mental illnesses. There is nothing odd about being glad that you don't have other types of conditions! I have a lot of them but I am still thankful that there are some I don't have.

My hallucinations tend all to be connected to my past in some way. This is where it is important to recognise the individual behind the illness and realise that we all have different symptoms because of what we have experienced. Moths, for example is because my mother was terrified of them. I am not scared of them at all but I still hallucinate them and feel fearful because it reminds me of her, my fear isn't the hallucination itself but the memories it brings up.

When I was small there were incidences of my mother hurting me and then taking me to hospital claiming she didn't know what was wrong. On one occasion she overdosed me on paracetamol and told the hospital that I had managed to open the bottle and take some. It was never enough to risk my life but enough to get her their attention. She was actually terrified of having personal medical treatment and would avoid it wherever possible but would repeatedly do things that meant I needed it. Fortunately, her urge to do that faded as I got older after a psychiatrist pointed it out to her.

Ok, disclaimer time! I would never, ever advocate that anyone takes recreational drugs no matter what the circumstances! If you feel that you have a condition that you are unable to cope with then go to your doctor and get proper medical treatment, never self-medicate under any circumstances.

To answer your question whitewing yes, I have used them. At the point where I was close to my first psychotic break (the first is always the strongest and hardest to get through) I took absolutely anything I could to make it through another day. I have never become addicted as I was careful to regulate my usage without fully knowing that I was doing it (I was very lucky). I took what I believed I needed to, to be able to get though and no more. As usual I was totally honest about this to my psychiatrist and he pointed out that my use of drugs, alcohol and smoking was actually self-medicating which was a revelation to me at the time as it had never occurred to me that I was actually trying to control my symptoms. It sounds silly now but I had just never looked that deeply into my reasons. I was then given medication and have never wanted to take any recreational drugs since, which is fortunate as it would be very dangerous now with the amount of prescribed medication that I take. I also rarely drink alcohol, not because I am against it but because I get horrific hangover symptoms immediately after just one glass of wine as it combines with my medication. This is annoying! I also still smoke, although much less than I used to. That needs a post of its own as the reasons why are probably not what you would imagine. I am probably the only person in the world who has doctors tell her to continue smoking.

I could say a lot more about this but I don't want to get the thread locked or upset anyone. In no way do I think taking recreational drugs is ever ok, for me it happened whilst I was very unwell and I would never return to it. There is loads of literature out there about drug use and mental health and unfortunately it is very common and extremely dangerous. I do have to say though in most cases people are desperately trying anything they can to feel better, it is rarely for 'fun'. However, it is the most dangerous time to take them, especially if you are already on medication or have a biochemical imbalance. This is awkward because I could explain so much more about the reasons and the effects but this isn't the right place for it, I am biting my tongue all over the place here. It is all there on Google for anyone who is interested.

That sounds like fun JM (I am too floaty to even attempt to write your name in full), we have had storms and rain all afternoon, I am overjoyed!

jobbingmusician

JM is fine, and what most people on the MB board call me. (Some call me JB - I wonder if they think my name is Jo Bing!)

Waves_and_Smiles

Hahahahahaha, now I am tempted to call you Jo. I confess I cringe slightly over my chosen username as I was a mess when I created and it now it looks as if I am always suffering. This isn't the case at all and it doesn't really represent me too well. If I had the choice again I would choose something rather more optimistic...

whitewing

You could contact MSE and ask to change it for those exceptional reasons based on the value of this thread. Normally you can't change but they have done it for one or two regular users on threads I have frequented for different reasons.

Waves_and_Smiles

I might consider that actually, asking can't hurt. I would prefer to log on and not remind myself that I wanted to jump off a cliff at the time of my first post. It isn't exactly encouraging!

Solarjunkie

Come on Team WaS - come up with some suggestions! To keep the abbreviation, there are many possibilities, here are a few (you go girl, you have a lot of supporters out here!)

Waving and Smiling
Waitrose and Sainsburys
We're All Supporting
Willow and Sycamore
Wise and Sage
Wales and Scotland
Wensleydale and Stilton
Wellies and Stilettos


There must be plenty of others, better or dafter!

whitewing

Waindrops and Sunshine
Wild and Sexy

oldestgnome

Wandering and Searching
Wren and Starling
Wacky and Silly
Wellness and Stability
Warm and Supportive or ing
Winter and Spring
Willing and Strong
Worthy and Smart


Think I'm clutching at straws now *Wanders away to think some more*

jobbingmusician

Oooo, I like Wellness and Stability. The trendy word of the moment is Wellbeing though - Wellbeing and Stability? Wellbeing and Support? (because WaS is being such a great support to others )