Just needed to be heard for a little while

System

Thank you for the support, it helps to know I'm not as alone as I feel.

Really couldn't face work today will see how I feel tomorrow though am holiday from Thursday. I think I need to check in with my doctor and make sure they are aware of what's going on (I always seem to have mania then a depressive episode after being dumped) and might actually get around to sorting out therapy which I've been putting off.

Keep telling myself I've gotten through this before, I can get through it again, still hurting a lot though

DUKE

Hi MU, you're doing OK, you will get there in the end, I promise. Did you manage any sleep?

Waves_and_Smiles

Big hugs, MU. It doesn't matter how many times you have been though it, it still hurts so much. I fell to pieces at every break up I had, it was always raw pain no matter how much experience I had. I think it is a good idea to go to your doctors, I went everytime after a break up and just the act of someone medical knowing helped a little. It is a little more reassurance.

Do please be very gentle with yourself today, lots of snuggling under blankets, cry as much as you need to and if you can manage to eat some yummy food. There is no wrong way of dealing with it, as long as it doesn't hurt you further it is fine. You WILL get through this and the pain will ease but I know that doesn't make things any better right now.

We are all here for you, you aren't alone and you can probably find someone here almost 24 hours if you need to talk. Try to nap if you can and drink lots of water to replace the tears. More gentle hugs for you. It is going to be ok.

DUKE

Hi WaS how are you?

Sorry about that up there, it's been a while since I used photobucket. I must go & study form :-/ No it's not worked, I've had to remove it.

http://s425.photobucket.com/user/LETMETRYAGAIN/media/DSCN5806.jpg.html

Aaaha managed it, I've deleted the other pics :-D Gotta be careful as I could've put anything up :-O

Waves_and_Smiles

Ah, Duke my heart went out to Harry when you said about the problems outside with people. When I am out I look at people suspiciously and then they start looking back at me which is exactly what I dread happening so I act even more oddly (useful things like stopping dead and cowering against a wall if someone walks past me) and they look even more. People understandably get worried and most likely slightly offended that I am looking them like I expect them to jump on me. It is a very hard pattern to break. The only time I am ok is if someone is walking a dog. I stare at their dog and smile and am so enthralled that I forget the person is there, also people tend to smile back if they see me so obviously overjoyed to see their doggie!

System

I did manage to sleep for a bit (had some weird dreams though!)

I seem to have entered the numb phase where I really don't feel anything, I think it's a bit of a defence/coping mechanism, when I'm stressed I just shut off. I think it's because if I didn't if be upset and not as safe if that makes sense, trying to occupy myself, have the loom bands out and will snuggle under the blanket and watch some Disney films (theres something about Disney films that make me feel happier and calmer)

Thank you again, you're all wonderful

Waves_and_Smiles

What a wonderful idea, MU! Do snuggle up with Disney and your loom bands! I am quite jealous of you being able to use those, I want a loom band bracelet! I think they are so cute and pretty, I am just not sure that the arthritis in my fingers would allow me to make one.

If the numbness is helping right now it isn't a bad thing, as long as you are safe there isn't a bad approach to coping right now. Whatever gives a little peace is fine.

DUKE

Aaaw WaS, it's such a relief to find someone who's been there. We had a few incidents on Friday where Harry was walking along looking behind him, so I turned around to see what he's looking at & there's this bloke now looking suspiciously at both of us Then when we were having our lunch Harry was just sort of looking up with one eye, all shiftily (for the want of a better word). I turn around & there's this girl looking back, very wide eyed. I just had to tell him to stop staring at her. She probably thought we were both weird.

DUKE

I'm so glad you manged a bit of sleep MU, it'll come eventually. It's no bad thing that you shut off for a while & enjoy doing things that make you happy. I used to write everything down once I was over the initial shock, it was like a cleansing for me. I'd go with a bit therapy too, it's good to get it all off ya chest. Remember you're loved by TeamWaS xxx

Waves_and_Smiles

I do that, Duke! I have eyes everywhere when I am around people and in my panic tend to stare at people intently to try to work out if they will hurt me which I don't realise I am doing. Then they stare back and I end up practically climbing into people's gardens when they walk past. WaSp gets embarrassed although he tries to hide it, he keeps saying if I was a man I would end up in a confrontation from someone rather unsavoury asking me who I am looking at!

There are times I am better as I said with a dog and also with small children. I love them so am usually too busy smiling at the child to panic. Children and dogs/any animals make me feel safe