Just needed to be heard for a little while

whitewing

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

I think I am truly ugly - wrong and we have covered that.
I am paranoid I will make an idiot of myself - if I say something like this, my DH says 'So What?' People are generally very kind, those that aren't are not worth bothering with. People will giggle sometimes at something you say or do, but you will learn the difference between somebody laughing because they love life and someone being grateful it didn't happen to them, when you are feeling better,
When I panic I think people can read my thoughts They can't. People who know you well may be able to pick up signs. People who don't know you may sometimes pick up characteristics. Narcissistic people - I watched a documentary recently - are gifted at picking up a person's weakness and manipulating them. You may have met a few of the latter. People would love to read your thoughts - write your book! and decent people are perfectly capable of making judgement calls on the irrational thoughts to understand they cause you distress but also understand that you are not the negative thoughts. I guess no one is worried about people being able to read positive thoughts
I think people are giving each messages about how horrid I am One of the joys of having mental health treatment for me is that I understand now a lot more about 'normal' people. I used to think that EVERYBODY was permanently suicidal. I thought my problem was that I couldn't suppress my suicidal thoughts enough to achieve the successes that so many other people enjoyed. Actually, the vast majority of the people I meet are absolutely lovely. They simply don't think the bad thoughts about themselves or other people.
At school, the children would point and whisper and giggle about meYou were let down by people's lack of understanding of mh. You may also be noticing the negative more than the positive because the biological reactions you had developed magnify the negative. I know this because I have the same reactions. You are not a little schoolgirl being abused in private now. You are a fabulous lady, adored by your DP and loved by your MSE family. We will take care of you as much as we can here.
I am scared that I might act odd and frighten someone.Equally you may act odd and delight someone. Or you may act odd and make someone understand that something similar is happening to someone they love. Or you may act odd and inspire someone to retrain for a new career. You may act odd and someone may get an extra cuddle from mum or dad. You may act odd but everyone else - not you- chooses how to respond to it
!)

Pitch in everyone...I know I haven't thought of everything.

whitewing

dibuzz wrote: »

Whitewing, I've lost 2 stone since changing meds.
.

That's brilliant. It always makes me happy to hear news like that.

Pyxis

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

All these odd socks around and no sock monkey for me.
Here are some sock monkeys keeping cool in the heat!


Aww, thank you Pyxis! Am I allowed to settle for I am not that bad, really?
.

No! Not this time you don't!

Repeat after me...... "I AM BEAUTIFUL!"....... But you may add....."'COS TEAM WaS SAYS SO!"

Come on then, after three...... 1...2.....3..................

Waves_and_Smiles

Awww, whitewing! How lovely to write that out for me. I will ask here for reassurance when I think people are hearing my thoughts. Rationally I know it isn't true but I panic so much that all logic flies out of the window and then I berate for it afterwards. I am going to print out your words so that I can keep them for when I feel bad.

I want all 3 sockmonkeys, Pyxis! I am being greedy and I don't care! They are adorable!

Hmmm, ok I'll try. <whispers very quietly> I am beautiful cos team WaS says so!

I am actually blushing now...

elsien

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

My mother used to tell me that I was ugly all of the time and no 'stranger' outside of the family would want me.

Well that's clearly untrue as your lovely caring partner can testify. So safe to ignore all the other stuff she told you as well.


I'm still catching up after a few hectic and not very nice days. However I did catch a fleeting glimpse of bubble wrap along the way - the internet is a wonderful thing.
http://www.virtual-bubblewrap.com/popnow.shtml

Pyxis

Waves_and_Smiles wrote: »

Awww, whitewing! How lovely to write that out for me. I will ask here for reassurance when I think people are hearing my thoughts. Rationally I know it isn't true but I panic so much that all logic flies out of the window and then I berate for it afterwards. I am going to print out your words so that I can keep them for when I feel bad.

I want all 3 sockmonkeys, Pyxis! I am being greedy and I don't care! They are adorable!

Hmmm, ok I'll try. <whispers very quietly> I am beautiful cos team WaS says so!

I am actually blushing now...

Yey! Yey! Yey! WaS says she's beautiful! WaS says she's beautiful!

Jolly well done, WaS!

Now print that out as well, and ENLARGE it and stick it on your wall!

:T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T :T

Waves_and_Smiles

Blushing even more, Pyxis. Bright red and in the corner here. I shall print it out and go scarlet everytime I look at it!

Aw, thank you elsien. That is very true, I am beautiful to him. I am sorry that you haven't had some very nice days, you know we are all here for you if you want to talk. I am thinking of you.

The virtual bubble wrap site is amazing, I am already popping! Everyone try it, it's a whole full sheet!

lostinrates

What about your hair WaS? What do you think about your hair, you've said that one before?

Solarjunkie

To give us an idea of how beautiful you are, here is a new challenge - find a pic of someone with similar hair to yours, so we can admire it once removed, if you see what I mean!

I don't know if this will work, but to get you started - my hair is like this, but even straighter! So, I'm not really comfortable with revealing it, but in for a penny - http://i2.dailyrecord.co.uk/incoming/article1334122.ece/alternates/s615/Shari-Low.jpg

elsien

That's a good game. However compared to the models on google image mine is distinctly rattier. Off to search amongst more normal people.


Edit - nope, no good, my barnet is clearly unique. Possibly because it hasn't seen a hairdresser in years.