What Are My Rights?

itsalldrivingmemad

Are solicttors very expensive - I don't think I will qualify for legal aid

Kimitatsu

Why shoudl half the tax credits be his????? That made me SO cross!

If the kids are his as well then why isnt he helping out more? The whole point of having tax credits is so that the kids dontg suffer.

I realise it is a big outlay but get yourself to a solicitor, many will set up a payment plan for you to pay off so much a month, and then sue him for the cost of the divorce! You would have a good chance of getting that especially considering he snoops constantly.

Another option is having your mail delivered to your mum or a post office box close to work, then he cant snoop.

Goods luck, you sound SO much better off without him.

arthur_dent_2

itsalldrivingmemad wrote: »

He reckons half the tax credits should be his as they are his kids too even though they are living with me. He just spends his wages on beer and stuff

I am all for fathers rights and am quite vocal about it but !!!!!!!

Those tax credits are given to you so that you can keep the children above the poverty line and he wants to take that away. He should be paying you a fair maintenance and he should be recieving/wanting fair access. Also he should be paying you half the mortgage still.

itsalldrivingmemad

thanks Kimitatsu it makes me cross too and he really does think he deserves it and its his right to snoop as we are still married.

I'm still clutching at straws but I don't think he'll ever change his ways. I love him and hate him at the same time.

I will give some solicitors a call and see whats what I need to let go.

Its not my post he opened he went through my files and paperwork to find out the tax credit info, hope he saw my hefty utility bills too.

It seems I give him more money to help him get through the month then he give me - infact he gives me ziltch.

itsalldrivingmemad

arthur_dent wrote: »

I am all for fathers rights and am quite vocal about it but !!!!!!!

Those tax credits are given to you so that you can keep the children above the poverty line and he wants to take that away. He should be paying you a fair maintenance and he should be recieving/wanting fair access. Also he should be paying you half the mortgage still.

He has got access more than enough 2 nights a week but then he wants me to stay too when he has them and if i don't he goes mad, not sure if its cos 1. he loves me and wants to work things out

2. he can't cope with the youngest very much a mummys girl

3. he wants his 'hows your father';) .

I haven't given him half the money its been great being able to buy the kids clothes that they were more than overdue for pay bills and still have some left over but on the other hand I haven't let him starve or go without either maybe I should stop that and start listening to my family and friends and let him fend for himself for abit - its hard when I love him I just want to slap him and say wake up you stupid man can't you see what your doing.

georgieb_2

my friend has this problem and was advised by the solicitor she was not allowed to change the locks as his name was on the morgage even though he has stopped paying for it - it was still legally his house and he had rights to access, although it was considered polite for him to advise her when he was due to pop around and give a valid reason. Perhaps a solicitors letter would help, but hide any paperwork as annoying as it may be in the short term.
changing email passwords is not hard through outlook or through service provider.
It all seemed so unfair for my friend who had the same as you going on but it did settle down eventually

misswig

I think you are within your rights to change the locks as it is not your intention to make him homeless as he has left of his own accord and is renting somewhere. Have you tried requesting the keys for the house back from him? if he is no longer living there then i'm sure he is not entitled to invade your home like that. If he refuses then change them.

If you are afraid of 'breaking the law' then contact the CAB or a solicitor to ask about your rights. You could always call the police and report a break in and cite your husband for doing so (not breaking and entering i know but..)

IMHO you are entitled to privacy. Even though it is a jointly owned, he has no right to snoop through your stuff.

How do you know that he is doing this btw?

Vxx

arthur_dent_2

Let him live in the real world for a bit and personally I wouldn't be giving out "privaleges" unless he is particularly good or he starts bucking his ideas up.

It is very difficult when you love someone to look at a situation logically. If there is a chance that you can save this marriage then that is really good. Both of you has to look at what you want and then both act like adults. Sounds to me like you already know this but that he doesn't.

Oh and I know it isn't really any of my business but please stop giving him money, you need it for yourself and the children.

itsalldrivingmemad

misswig wrote: »

How do you know that he is doing this btw?

Vxx

he sent me verbal texts this morning mainly about the tax credit that i get as it is quite a good sum but it covers childcare and stuff and I work 33 hours a weeks so I am working hard for it if you know what I mean.

He has also had ago about the changes I have made at home since he left moving a chair in the living room and changing our room around.

Arthur Dent thanks, I know I shouldn't and I do need it but I can also see he needs it for petrol and his food, it is hitting me now especially when I put some petrol in his tank ( didn't give hiem the cash as I knew what he'd do with it) then he went out in the evening to the pub with what he said was his money he had put aside for his petrol so he can spend it now as i had put in in for him Am I guiable or what!!

arthur_dent_2

gullible and in love can often be the same thing.