What Are My Rights?

bunty109

I don't have any experience of SS but common sense tells me that they must be very used to gruntled partners dobbing in their OHs out of spite. They have a duty to act, but I am sure this will all be a routine check that will make him look stupid.

You knew he was a b[EMAIL="b@****d"]@****d[/EMAIL] and this just confirms he's a stupid one to boot!!!

He obviously can't stand that you are getting your life back and thinks he can try and ruin it by taking what matters from you. He's going to end up very disappointed!

Curious_George_2

itsalldrivingmemad wrote: »

:grouphug: Thanks everyone I am crying after reading these replies Relief I think its

Your right I am strong and I can move on - I was beginning to feel free amd not scared then he did this and it has sunk me right down again. SS have been I havd a compliment slip in my letter box asking me to call them - I have but who I need to speak to has left for the day they will ring me tomorrow.

My kids are great and the eldest has said to her dad mums a lot happier now your gone and that drove him mad this was a few weeks ago - I smiled inside when he told me what she'd said. I can't wait till thehouse is sold and I can go to a house where there are no bad memories andI can start afresh.

Thanks again for giving mw the strength to go on

funny. i was thinking about you the other day, was going to dig this thread out and ask how it was all going....

I really cant add anything new to the excellent advice already given, which is pretty much what i would have said....
your so strong and he hates it, remember how upset you were when you found out he had 'moved on'? well he no longer has the same control over you because YOU HAVE MOVED ON! and he is not happy about it.
getting SS involved is desperation, and they will see that, and then will hopefully give him a good slap for wasting their time,.

if you have done nothing worthy of SS's attention then dont worry about talking to them, they have been alerted and will have to investigate, they wont expect you to be mother of the year (especially after what you have been through recently) and it should be very clear to them that your ex is trying everything he can to destroy you, and threatening to take the children (one way or another) is always going to get a reaction.

gather all your evidence of his behaviour, and also gather your thoughts,
think of going through with this interview as being beneficial to you, not helping someone looking to take your kids away,
and when its all over and you can look back on it with a huge sigh of relief... add this chapter to the massive list of things this pathetic f**kwit has done to you and take him for everything in the divorce! lol

itsalldrivingmemad

I've been off work today and phone them this morning and she came straight round she said she will be closingthe case as she can see that I am being mental abused by him he made an alegation that one of my children are being sexually abused she is quite happy that they are not as I have not leftthem withthe person concerened ever and don't have any concerns myself - she has just asked that I get hem checked at the doctors and if that report is ok she will be closing the file. She didn't say if he'd get a rap for wastingpolice time or whatever. I feel better now taht bit is out of the way just the solicitors now.

Back to the original question right at the begining of teh thread about locks she said that as I feel in danger and the police have been invloved I have the right to change the locks I will be double checking with my solicitor and will let you know later.

I hardly slept again last night partly as I haven't heard from him, normally get 20 plus texts a day plus the phone calls and partly because I watched crime watch last night and was scared whitless!!

paddy's_mum

Just out of curiosity but also because it may throw a little more light on the SS 'case' - how old are the children?

misswig

itsalldrivingmemad wrote: »

I've been off work today and phone them this morning and she came straight round she said she will be closingthe case as she can see that I am being mental abused by him he made an alegation that one of my children are being sexually abused she is quite happy that they are not as I have not leftthem withthe person concerened ever and don't have any concerns myself - she has just asked that I get hem checked at the doctors and if that report is ok she will be closing the file. She didn't say if he'd get a rap for wastingpolice time or whatever. I feel better now taht bit is out of the way just the solicitors now.

Back to the original question right at the begining of teh thread about locks she said that as I feel in danger and the police have been invloved I have the right to change the locks I will be double checking with my solicitor and will let you know later.

Thats great news:j :j You must feel like a weight has been lifted. Yet again, you have got the upper hand over your manipulative, spiteful exH:j :j

djdido2

[I hardly slept again last night partly as I haven't heard from him, normally get 20 plus texts a day plus the phone calls and partly because I watched crime watch last night and was scared whitless!![/quote]


itsalldrivingmemad!

Have you got someone who could come and stay with you for a short while? Maybe a family member that can just be there to support you. Your quote above sounde so very familiar. The endless texts and phone calls and being scared out of your wits at even your own shadow.

When I left my ex I felt exactly the same. I moved in with my best mate and all the time the phone rang or the door knocked I jumped out of my skin. I can honestly say that if it was not for her kindness and support I would probably have never had the strength to leave in the first place.

Get someone who you can lean on a wee bit, to give you that extra push that you need. We are here for you too chick. You are doing brilliantly. When all this is over you will be smiling!

((Hugs))

x

Dido

mummy_Jay

Reading what you've sad the SS being involved has actually helped in a strange way.

As for the phone calls if you haven't already got a phone that displays caller ID, get one. Then at least if you don't know the number or its him you don't have to answer. Turn off your mobile or get a new one with a different number if he's hassling you over it, so you don't have to read all that rubbish. I know it will only bring you down.

I hope your really proud of yourself. Just remember where you found the strength and keep moving forward your doing so well.

I all so think you can add his behavour in calling the SS, in to the list of abuse to give the solicistor.

Chin up girl your doing really well. Big hug

itsalldrivingmemad

Thanks again all - my children are aged 11 7 and 2. I feel ok and quite strong it when the kids are asleep and I'm on my own I am nervous and jumpy. I do have friends that I am just getting back in contact with - some mutual friends that backed off primaraly as they didn't want to take sides but now they are seeing what he is like and starting to be in contact ith me again inviting me andthe children to parties etc but not overly pally. Other friends I have lost contact with I have no one that I can ask to come and stay with me for a while. My one family member tha is my strength is on holiday at the moment maybe that is why he picked now to do this...its not knowing what is coming next that un nerves me.

i saw the solicitors and I cannot change the locks just yet but I know my rights now and am proud that I have finally took that step and gone there - not sure about qualifying for legal aid yet but I am submitting the details today - if not I will haveto deal with it then.

My eldest has been hit hard I am not sure how to tackle that as I don't want to be calling her father but then I don't want to lie to her.

Why is life so difficult....

djdido2

Itsall.


Please don't worry about your eldest, at 11 she is very resilient and will understand what is going on even if she does not let on that she does. Try and stay calm, relax and put your feet up when you have the chance. Your daughter will see her father acting like a **** for herself so you won't need to call him or lie to her.

Don't let him soft soap you, stay strong and positive and whatever happens, whatever the outcome you will come out the other end, stronger, wiser and happier. Keep yourself busy and when you are on your own, take steps to make sure you feel more secure.

Sorry life is difficult for you at the moment. It does get better, I can assure you of that.

Take Care and keep posting here!

x

Dido

(ps. PM if you ever need to chat)

itsalldrivingmemad

So its been a busy weekend fo rus keeping our minds occupied and busy helps alot I find - I havdn't heard from him until yesterday when my daughter rang him but was told by him he is not allowed to speak to her, she was distraught.

He rang last night with a mouthful of abuse but I was strang I didn't let it affect me, then today I have spoken to him and he broke down saying how sorry he is and he admitted he was going a bit crazy and he is now on AD's he want me to think seriously about giving it another go....part of me wants to, to make a family again but he wuld have to prove to me that he will not be like that again and I would not do things quickly although he wants to I want to be sure for their sake as well as mine. The other part of me is niggling saying stay away bad news he's done this before he'll do it again he won't change.

But what if he does change, can people change? He says he wants to look after me and our children and be together forever.

I know I have to make up my own mind about this but arrggghh I hate decisions!!