child being bullied continuously

sadandlonely

my eldest son is 9 years old, he is a soft boy who wont hit back or anything.

lately all that seems to be happening is hes coming in upset saying kids are bullying him. incidents that have happened in the past week include:-

1. being kicked and punched by one boy
2. having stones thrown at him by two different kids
3. spat at and had his socks thrown in the bin by another different kid. i spoke to this kid and he said my son spat at him so he spat back yet spoke to my son who said he was spitting at him first and when he retaliated,thats when his socks were put in the bin. this is the same boy who emptied a nappy bin and recycling bag over my front a few weeks back though.

these incidents have all happened in different locations. we have seen the school numerous times as the kids in point 1 and 2 have continuously been horrible to him. the one in point 3 was a friend of his but has now turned horrible. we have spoken to their parents about it but nothing happens.

im just so confused right now as its happening all the time. i always stick up for my son but what if he is doing or saying something to provoke it. hes 9 now so he is getting cheekier with me but hes such a lovely kid, i cant see him actually starting anything whereas all these kids are problem children.

any advice would be much appreciated as it is stressing me out seeing him so upset.

thanks x

*Robin*

sadandlonely wrote: »

my eldest son is 9 years old, he is a soft boy who wont hit back or anything.

lately all that seems to be happening is hes coming in upset saying kids are bullying him. incidents that have happened in the past week include:-

1. being kicked and punched by one boy
2. having stones thrown at him by two different kids
3. spat at and had his socks thrown in the bin by another different kid. i spoke to this kid and he said my son spat at him so he spat back yet spoke to my son who said he was spitting at him first and when he retaliated,thats when his socks were put in the bin. this is the same boy who emptied a nappy bin and recycling bag over my front a few weeks back though.

these incidents have all happened in different locations. we have seen the school numerous times as the kids in point 1 and 2 have continuously been horrible to him. the one in point 3 was a friend of his but has now turned horrible. we have spoken to their parents about it but nothing happens.

im just so confused right now as its happening all the time. i always stick up for my son but what if he is doing or saying something to provoke it. hes 9 now so he is getting cheekier with me but hes such a lovely kid, i cant see him actually starting anything whereas all these kids are problem children.

any advice would be much appreciated as it is stressing me out seeing him so upset.

thanks x

My bold - you may well be making the situation worse!

Suggest enrolling your son at a martial arts club. It will change his attitude, teach him respect and give him confidence, as well as introducing a new circle of friends and role models.

bagpussbear

You say you have seen the school numerous times, what did they say, or what action did they decide to take?

If all the above happened to my child in one week, he wouldn't be going back there the next week.

Lincoln_Imp

http://www.bullystoppers.com/Parents.html

I would go to the police and report them ,In fact I did years ago when I had the same problem with one of my lads
It Stopped straight away


When should the police be involved and how do I proceed?

Consider involving the police immediately if another child has
physically assaulted your child or is seriously threatening him
with bodily injury. To sign a complaint against a juvenile, call your
local police department to get the necessary information. You
may also want to consider signing harassment complaints
against juveniles who continue to harass your child despite
numerous attempts by you and/or the school to get them to
stop. Ask the school to keep a written record of all offenses
committed against you child in the event the police may need to
access the information for future complaints.

sadandlonely

*Robin* wrote: »

My bold - you may well be making the situation worse!

Suggest enrolling your son at a martial arts club. It will change his attitude, teach him respect and give him confidence, as well as introducing a new circle of friends and role models.

I'm going to look into this, thank you x

sadandlonely

bagpussbear wrote: »

You say you have seen the school numerous times, what did they say, or what action did they decide to take?

If all the above happened to my child in one week, he wouldn't be going back there the next week.

This was in school holidays and they have told me previously that they can't do anything. They have previously spoken to the kids and it had quietened down for a bit but starts up again soon after

BunnieJ

Luckily boys don't seem to be as vindictive/spiteful as girls and it seems like a bit of silly behaviour in the hols.

Any decent school should take allegations of bullying very seriously, I would be going back and complaining if it doesn't stop.

I completely understand your point about not knowing if your son has been starting it/retaliating back, but from personal experience you need to give him as much support as possible while he's going through this tough time. I had a best friend at school at the same age (female) who would tell her mum I was bullying her if I ever played with any of my other friends at break time. It really hurt me when my mum sat me down to have the "bullying is wrong talk" when I hadn't done anything wrong.

sadandlonely

Lincoln_Imp wrote: »

http://www.bullystoppers.com/Parents.html

I would go to the police and report them ,In fact I did years ago when I had the same problem with one of my lads
It Stopped straight away


When should the police be involved and how do I proceed?

Consider involving the police immediately if another child has
physically assaulted your child or is seriously threatening him
with bodily injury. To sign a complaint against a juvenile, call your
local police department to get the necessary information. You
may also want to consider signing harassment complaints
against juveniles who continue to harass your child despite
numerous attempts by you and/or the school to get them to
stop. Ask the school to keep a written record of all offenses
committed against you child in the event the police may need to
access the information for future complaints.

The sad thing is the child in the first point is his cousin.
His parents are going through a messy split so have to approach this one with care.

The children in point two are not family but live across the road from his grandparents and are in his class. Again their parents had a messy split but this has affected the kids again as this happened ages ago.

We have only just moved to the street where boy in point 3 lives and he has had trouble with two other boys down here also.

Thank you for this this but I would have to file a lot of cases as so he's having trouble off so many boys

sadandlonely

He always comes in and explains what happened and it seems now he is sticking up for himself but still getting off worse. I really don't know

Lincoln_Imp

I hear what you are saying but your first priority is your child

susieq87

i am not a mother but this is one issue that really worries me when i do have kids. bullying is such a horrible thing esp when it happens to a lovely child which im sure your son is.
unfortunately bullies prey on the lovely ones because they feel they can if they knew that someone would retaliate they probably stay away. i second the advice to enrol him into martial arts club for him to gain confidence and also hit back (i know alot of people will disagree with that but i believe if someone hits you, you should hit them back. reporting them doesnt help evidently)