child being bullied continuously

geoffky

Get him to the boxing gym...

marisco_2

bagpussbear wrote: »

If all the above happened to my child in one week, he wouldn't be going back there the next week.

Moving the child away doesn't necessarily solve everything though, and sends the wrong message on how to handle conflict. No-one can run away from their problems, and they have to learn at some stage, how to handle themselves appropriately. The OP needs to sit down and talk with her son, to get to the bottom of the root cause of all this. Otherwise wherever he is the same problems will just raise their ugly head again.

It may just be unfortunate that the OPs son is being picked on by a nasty crowd of kids for no reason. I am not condoning that in any way. However all this upset may have started in part because of how the OPs son relates to and mixes with his peers. Or it could be that they see him as an easy target as they know he wont/doesn't know how to stand up for or defend himself. He can learn to overcome all of this.

Teachers at his school could quite easily build into PSHE lessons, how best to deal with situations like this. OP I wouldn't rush into any decisions to move your son from his school, till you have tried the things I have suggested. I hope things settle down soon, it must be worrying for you.

Morglin

Send him to karate or judo - I sent my daughter to do these, before she left primary school, as she is is very petite.

It gave her the confidence to deal with potential bullies, and we never had a problem.

Lin

sadandlonely

thanks to everyone who commented. all your replies have been very helpful. i am taking him to karate tomorrow, first two lessons are free and then its £25 a month. hopefully he will like it.

he already plays rugby but started in march so the season is over now until august. the training sessions used to help him.

i dont understand it to be honeat. if i take him out, he will happily play with any child younger or older so i dont think he is the one with the problem. i think i may have made the problem with the 3rd boy as i had a go at his mate who was picking on my ds and thats started since then. i live in a rough area, moved from the last house only 6 months ago to start afresh and now im afraid to send him outside here.

i will be having a chat with him later once youngest ds is in bed. see where we go from here.

thanks again though for all your advice x

sadandlonely

he also goes to cubs every friday too but one of the bullies goes there too. might see if he can join a different unit, maybe where my mam lives x

meritaten

I cant believe that so many posters have advocated violence. You do realise that if your son hits back many schools will punish him too? While I practiced martial arts myself and think its a great confidence booster, and is a wonderful way to learn self discipline, its not there to enable a child to hit a bully harder. plus the fact that martial artists are not encouraged to use their skills outside the dojo, unless in EXTREME circumstances.
its persistence with the school you should be concentrating on - they have a duty of care to your son - which should include making sure he doesn't get stones thrown at him in the playground - where was the supervisor?
and your son needs you to believe in him - so doubting his word and making excuses for other kids bad behaviours could result in him acting out with you. you say he is already getting cheeky with you, wonder why?
if the school wont take action then that is the time to think about moving schools - ensuring you pick one with a zero tolerance policy towards bullying. don't believe a head who tells you they don't have a bullying problem! every school has bullies - the zero tolerance school will be quite open about this and will explain in detail how it is dealt with.
I hope this gets resolved for your son soon - but it isn't something he can sort out on his own. or you on your own - it needs teamwork by your son, you and the school.

thatgirlsam

It's so hard when you just want to wade in but if it were me I would encourage friendships with other boys, is there another kid at school he gets on with, that you can invite round to play, have tea or take them out together to do something. Maybe he won't focus on the bad behaviour of these other boys if he has mates to do stuff with.


It's not a great answer but it might help him?

sadandlonely

meritaten wrote: »

I cant believe that so many posters have advocated violence. You do realise that if your son hits back many schools will punish him too? While I practiced martial arts myself and think its a great confidence booster, and is a wonderful way to learn self discipline, its not there to enable a child to hit a bully harder. plus the fact that martial artists are not encouraged to use their skills outside the dojo, unless in EXTREME circumstances.
its persistence with the school you should be concentrating on - they have a duty of care to your son - which should include making sure he doesn't get stones thrown at him in the playground - where was the supervisor?
and your son needs you to believe in him - so doubting his word and making excuses for other kids bad behaviours could result in him acting out with you. you say he is already getting cheeky with you, wonder why?
if the school wont take action then that is the time to think about moving schools - ensuring you pick one with a zero tolerance policy towards bullying. don't believe a head who tells you they don't have a bullying problem! every school has bullies - the zero tolerance school will be quite open about this and will explain in detail how it is dealt with.
I hope this gets resolved for your son soon - but it isn't something he can sort out on his own. or you on your own - it needs teamwork by your son, you and the school.[/QUOTE

sorry but i forgot to mention it was half term last week. the children throwing stones have picked on him in school and it was dealt with. it just keeps happening outside of school.

the karate would be for confidence mainly instanding up for himself. i dont condone violence and have up until recently told my son to leave it and come home and not retaliate. but as its happenning all the time now i need to do something as does he. thank you meritaten for your advice x

sadandlonely

thatgirlsam wrote: »

It's so hard when you just want to wade in but if it were me I would encourage friendships with other boys, is there another kid at school he gets on with, that you can invite round to play, have tea or take them out together to do something. Maybe he won't focus on the bad behaviour of these other boys if he has mates to do stuff with.


It's not a great answer but it might help him?

thats a great idea. will ask their mothers in the week when i see them x

thatgirlsam

sadandlonely wrote: »

thats a great idea. will ask their mothers in the week when i see them x

I know you can't (shouldn't) 'buy' friendships but when my boy had a bit of bother we invited a few boys round and went to a play centre then they had a water pistol fight. He was a bit 'cooler' after that. Good luck, I know its horrible.