child being bullied continuously

justme111

Op , look after yourself. You seem to be liability for your son now on emotional health and confidence side. From what you writing your way of seeing what you describe as bullying and.dealing.with it makes it more difficult for the boy.

meritaten

not necessarily. her boy is quiet and sensitive. he may be trying to ameriolate the situation by trying to be friends with the bullies. I think I would be moving my child from that school after the injuries suffered - and the way it was dealt with. so please don't make the op, sadandlonely part of the problem.
in fact, I know I would take my child out of that school and find another. I did exactly that after similar injuries to my own son.
and it was the best thing for him - the new school was great. he even learned to like some aspects of it and did achieve some GCSE results - that was never going to happen in the old school.

sadandlonely

the blame is lying at my sons feet again for fridays incident. the school have spoken to the boy involved and another boy who witnessed it and they both say my son started it by following cousin around and instigating the incident.

spoke to my son who is sticking to his story.

i know hes no angel on times but it doesnt make sense if we told him to stay away from cousin, why he would follow him. going to see head teacher tomorrow to see where we go from here as it cant go on like this much more.

cakeforbrains

I can't believe the amount of people on here who are sanctioning that the child should hit back. All that teaches a child is that the person who hits hardest wins. Is that how you want your sons to act when they are men? Would you be giving them the same advice if the OP's child was a girl?

RancidM

Difficult situation for many reasons and one that I'm currently dealing with.

One thing i did was to have a very frank discussion with my boy.
i explained that young peoples minds are not fully developed and it is very common for young people to say and act in a way that they don't really understand, at the same time it can be difficult for other young people to understand what is being said.

the long and short of it is that school can be full of idiots who dont know what they are saying. it can be brutal and hurtfull but dont mistake people being idiots with bullying as they are different things.

i also press upon him that he is a part of that group and while he may not realize there might be things he is saying that other children might take the wrong way.

we discussed that as people develop and become more mature they soon learn what is appropriate behavior. the ones that dont learn are normaly the ones we will laugh at when watching COPS for being so stupid.

the difference now is that my boy is able to see stupid juvenile behavior for what it is and hopefully he will be better able to be self aware of his own behavior.


the instance of him saying he is being bullied have dramatically reduced and we can now have a sensible chat and take positive steps.

Concerning being physical or fighting back and that sort of thing.
my boy is 12 and the size of a mountain, he has never raised a finger in anger to anyone in this world and i think is rather it stayed that way.

[Deleted User]

cakeforbrains wrote: »

I can't believe the amount of people on here who are sanctioning that the child should hit back. All that teaches a child is that the person who hits hardest wins. Is that how you want your sons to act when they are men? Would you be giving them the same advice if the OP's child was a girl?

Yup, hit back as hard as they can. What is the other option? To stand there and take it? That's what a bully wants - a docile punching bag to vent their fustration out on.

Yes, if it was girl against girl violence, I would certainly say hit back, and hit hard.

BUT - make sure you are never the aggressor