Why is it so bloody hard to buy a birthday present for your mum?

keith969

My mum's 87 and doesn't really 'want' anything material - she does not do chocolate or stuff like that - plants she does like, so if I can't visit her (because I live quite a way away and am often stuck with work) I'll send her something nice, like a standard rose in a pot she can put outside her door.

But what she really likes is a visit and being taken out to lunch. Means hours of driving for me but its worth every mile.

CH27

maman wrote: »

I agree that OP sounds a caring and generous son but for whatever reason he didn't seem at all keen on any suggestions that involved spending time with his mum. He obviously wanted a gift that he could present on the day.


I don't mean to be unkind about him but that was just the impression I got. Maybe his mum likes gifts and genuinely wouldn't want a day out or weekend away with her son.


Savvy-Sue's post got me thinking that life seems to have got so busy these days that even things like birthdays can become a box ticking exercise. I can empathise with you as my DD2 generally manages to fit in a short visit to coincide with Mothers Day and my birthday which are always close together but it's always around her other social commitments. This year I told her it wasn't convenient (it genuinely wasn't) and she seemed taken aback that we had to make an arrangement that suited me and not her.


Sorry for rant, I think I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself today.:)

How dare you have a life :rotfl:

Big-Package

My mum now has a present and a very unusual present at that. My girlfriend went out this morning to find something and she bought an aquatic ecosystem sphere. At first i thought it was a paperweight which is worse than a candle but this thing is so cool, everything is alive inside it. I'm not being sexist when i say this - women are great at shopping :rotfl:

Bennifred

I really hope your Mum likes it, Big-Package! :beer:

Big-Package

Bennifred wrote: »

I really hope your Mum likes it, Big-Package! :beer:

I like it so she will. She likes nature and this thing is her own little piece of nature. I think i'll get a slap for the birthday card though "happy 60th" :rotfl:it is so much easier for me to pick a good card than a present.

Sunshinemummy

Big-Package wrote: »

My mum now has a present and a very unusual present at that. My girlfriend went out this morning to find something and she bought an aquatic ecosystem sphere. At first i thought it was a paperweight which is worse than a candle but this thing is so cool, everything is alive inside it. I'm not being sexist when i say this - women are great at shopping :rotfl:

Loving the present

ScarletRibbons

Wish someone would spend £250 on my birthday present.

skintchick

Those are not very ecologically sound. Apparently the shrimp in them are just dying a very slow death. It's not possible to keep a balanced ecosystem in a closed setup - top oceanariums regulate their levels constantly and bring in more water/nutrients, etc.

Here's an informative review from Amazon on one of these products:

I received one of these as a gift about three years ago. I am a hard core believer in "research what you must care for" as once you take a living thing in and state "I shall care for it" you are responsible for a life. Or several, in this case. Rather quickly, I learned that these shrimp are "Halocaridina rubra" AKA "Opae Ula" AKA "Hawaiian Red Shrimp". They are found in small wild pools in the lava rock all over Hawaii. Rather disturbingly, their habitat has been reduced by roughly 90%! Yet people still continue to collect them from the wild. As of now, I have yet to hear a confirmation that the Ecosphere company is, in fact, captive breeding these creatures. If they are, in fact, wild catching these, even from a pool on their own property that they help to maintain, this may have a rather strenuous impact on what is left of the population of these shrimp, given the number of these spheres and "BYOES" they ship out annually.

The sad fact is that the only people truly giving a representation on the current quantity of these available in the wild are the people who are catching them in order to sell to the general public--and of course, it is in their best interest to state that they are plentiful in the wild, as their livelihood depends on it. Granted, this is pure extrapolation, but I think it is, at the very least, a point worthy of consideration before you purchase one of these kits.

These shrimp are slow breeders with small clutch sizes, and a rather high "infant mortality" so to speak. In short, they are a species which much be protected when possible, and encouraged to breed-be it in captivity or in the wild, in the hopes of creating a sustainable population that our children and our children's children will be able to enjoy.

Keep in mind when purchasing an ecosphere that, regardless of all other facts, the very limited environment dramatically discourages breeding and prevents perpetuation of a species that is currently undetermined in status.

(I am editing in this additional paragraph some time after the original review, in response to new knowledge and many reviews that latched on to this topic rather than my main point. The site itself now says that they are 'raised at their facility.' When I contacted them, I was told that they are 'farmed' and 'raised in Arizona' and I had difficulty getting any more information. Certainly they wouldn't answer my other questions about their setup, which is understandable. If they are breeding, they likely have proprietary information. This may VERY WELL mean that they are captive bred. However, as I have worked in the aquatic pet industry for years.... farmed can mean several things. That they are brought in from the wild and raised in captivity, more often that they bring in wild populations and breed babies from them, replacing the breeding stock with wild stock regularly--less stressful to wild population, but still not ideal--or that that are in fact breeding and raising multiple generations on site. Regardless, the point of the review is what follows, not where they are sourced from. And for anyone who thinks all pet fish are captive bred, or that captive bred is cheaper--no. Google these shrimp. You can buy the wildcaught ones at about $1 a piece. You can buy captive bred ones at $5-$10 each. Which actually makes the BYOE sets you can find in some public aquarium gift shops a good source to buy stock shrimp for your own colony if they are captive bred. Just, please consider a better, bigger environment for them. Honestly, the worst impact on the wild population isn't the Ecosphere's, wildcaught or not. That would be Ocean Rider who harvests these from the wild to feed to seahorses to keep them red. Consider, if it was cheaper to breed them, why is Ocean Rider still offering wild caught ones for sale?.... But I digress. The main point of this review is to point out the potential suffering, not the sourcing, and, more than anything, give you the opportunity to make your own decision and give you enough information to start your own research from here. So please, read on.)

Now, skipping the biology and ecology lesson, and on to the ecosphere itself.... As I studied the limited literature and information available on these shrimp, I learned that although there is the odd ecosphere which reaches just that right balance of diatoms, algae, bacteria, shrimp, etc., the vast majority are nutrient starved, and the ecology inside of them, at the microscopic level, becomes damaged and even destroyed. Then you are left with a couple of shrimp that are incredibly hardy, attempting to live in water that is high in ammonia, nitrites, and/or nitrates, with little to no oxygen for breathing, and eating forms of algae that are in fact, not at all nutritious for them. Because these insignificant seeming little creatures have adapted to such an incredible fluctuation of natural habitat in the wild, they are able to withstand starvation for months and even years.

Look at it this way: The average Opae Ula shrimp life span is roughly ten years, with some living upward of 20. Ecosphere happily informs you in the informative brochure that if you take care of them well (ie: set them in the appropriate light and temperature) they will average a whole 2-3 years! So.....1/3rd of their expected lifespan......
Not so good, in all honesty.

The instructions then go on to explain that on occasion customers excitedly announce their shrimp going 8-20+ years. Which really, that's fantastic! But this is the exception, not the rule.

These shrimp are, slowly but surely, starving inside of these closed systems. If the correct bacteria and algae do not grow (and often they do not) then these poor little creatures will shrink a small bit each time they moult their exoskeleton. According to several sources I have read, they will, in fact, consume themselves at a very slow and painful rate.
Again, not to say that some spheres will not survive 20 years plus ND prove this wrong, but, sadly, the vast majority of spheres are going to slowly decline, taking the living denizens inside down with it.

All of this said, I received my little ecosphere, containing four opae ula shrimp, and I chose to believe that I would balance the lighting and the temperature perfectly, since I honestly couldn't figure out how to get the shrimp out. Fast forward two years, and my first shrimp dies. What a wake up call. I felt terrible. All the shrimp were on the small side when I received them, as I had been hoping for closer to the ten year mark from these fellas. I immediately got online once more and researched all that I could. This time I learned how to remove the plug, and so I did. The three remaining shrimp were decanted carefully into a 2.5 gallon cube aquarium that was carefully balanced to match the specific gravity of the water inside the sphere, with a small airstone and an LED light. I will state that when I tested the ammonia, nitrite, and nitrate of the water inside of the previously sealed sphere, I was absolutely appalled. I have zebra danios that couldn't have lasted an hour in that water.

In any even, I started off with only the water from the ecosphere, and daily added about half an ounce of the newly mixed sea water, in an attempt to not shock these delicate little creatures. Now that everyone is happily adjusted, I can monitor the amount of food available, do roughly one 50% water change a year, and care for these fascinating little animals interactively, rather than passively. I can respond to their needs and keep a close eye on the quality of their water, and thus, their life. Low and behold, my three shrimp have become roughly ten shrimp in less than a year (exact counts are tough, as they now have many hiding places and I am never sure that some aren't tucked away and hiding! Far more natural and comforting to them than complete exposure as they are subjected to in the spheres!). In fact, I am almost certain that those little reddish jiggy looking things that I noticed in the tank yesterday are, (I hope), more larvae.

Please, I encourage potential owners of ecospheres to research these shrimp and learn what you can before you purchase. If you still choose to purchase them, fine! But please, do make an informed decision.

In all honesty, I have to seriously wonder about the honesty of any company that simply states that they are giving you "ocean shrimp" and does not provide you with a latin species name to look up information and a natural history on the organism. Particularly when it is a company that claims to be encouraging an awareness of ecology, who is selling a species that is so vulnerable in the wild as these little fellows. If they were truly a company encouraging the thoughtful preservation of our ecology, it seems to me as though they would be attempting to inform new owners of as many facts as possible about their new pets; not hide what they are to prevent you from purchasing them cheaper elsewhere. (or whatever reason they have for not telling you exactly what kind of shrimp they are).

I wish potential owners the best of luck with their fascinating new aquatic denizens, regardless of how you choose to get your hands on them and welcome them into your home, and I sincerely hope you give these thoughts some consideration.
Cheers, and happy shrimping!